The main activities of a newborn baby are food and sleep. Both of these processes involve the mother, and if everything is more or less simple with food, then sleep sometimes becomes a real problem. Sometimes the dream of a beloved baby begins to bother the mother when the child falls asleep and sleeps only in her arms, and as soon as you try to put the baby in the crib (or stroller), she immediately wakes up and has to be rocked again. Mom is forced to either sleep half-sitting, fearing to drop the baby, or not sleep at all. This behavior of the child has quite understandable reasons, without understanding which it is impossible to "untie" the mother's hands. They will be discussed.
Why does he sleep in his arms
The need for constant bodily contact with the mother for the baby is undeniable. Being in the arms and feeling the mother's warmth, the newborn baby calms down and feels safe. Psychologists studying the issues of attachment between mothers and children have found that children who have the opportunity to infinitely enjoy their mother's touch grow up more successful, confident, and strong. They learn from birth the postulate "This world needs me, they love me here".
Sleep for a child is a special state. Children live "Here and now"... The child closes his eyes - and the world ceases to exist for him, and the world for him is, first of all, his mother. Therefore, the situation of falling asleep in itself is already alarming for the baby. The desire not only to fall asleep in your arms, but also to stay there for the entire time of sleep, can be caused by various reasons: colic, feeling unwell, emotional over-excitement, or a collision with some kind of traumatic situation (quarrels at home, tension between family members). The reasons can be completely different, but they have a common root: the child experiences severe anxiety and does not feel safe even in sleep.
It is believed that you can teach to sleep in your arms if you often take the child in your arms in the first weeks of life, rock him (See whether to rock the child before bedtime)... For fear of hand training, some mothers ignore the crying and anxiety of the child, leaving the baby to fall asleep in the crib alone, exhausted by long screams. After a while, such children really begin to fall asleep on their own and calmly agree to sleep separately (sometimes even in a separate room), however, there is nothing good about that. The child resigns that he cannot receive his mother's warmth, and the baby can no longer form a reliable safe attachment to his mother.
We recommend watching publications on the topic of sleeping a newborn baby:
When to start teaching a child to sleep separately (real stories);
Useful: how to put a child to sleep without tears and whims (tips, methods, techniques);
8 ways to put your baby to sleep
By following a few simple steps, you can help your little one finally relax and fall asleep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW1Al01OOHI
We recommend watching publications on the topic of sleeping a newborn baby:What should mom do
However, no matter how natural the child's desires are, for a mother a baby sleeping only in her arms is very difficult, and trying to wean a baby from this habit means going against nature. How to be? The best way is not to wean the baby. (See when to start weaning your child), but try to saturate this need for contact in other ways, so that the child is ready to sleep in the crib.
- Try to hold your baby in your arms as often as possible while awake. A sling is very useful for this purpose. In a sling, the baby is pressed to the mother with his whole body, feels her warmth and is aware of all events. At the same time, the mother does not experience a huge burden and inconvenience, as if the child were in her arms.
- Don't give up sleeping with your baby. If you practice sleeping together from birth, the child will not know the fear of separation from his mother, because from the first days he will feel that his mother is there. In this case, the need to be and even sleep in your arms will not be so painful. (Link to the article on when to teach a baby to sleep separately above).
- If sleeping together is unacceptable for you, try to organize the baby's sleeping place correctly. Instead of a crib that is spacious and disproportionate to the baby's body, buy a cradle, and do not refuse swaddling for sleep. Of course, mother's hands will not replace all these measures, but in such conditions the child will be much calmer and more comfortable. The fact is that safety for the baby is associated with being in the mother's belly: the mother's bosom tightly hugs the baby, his arms and legs are pressed to the body. In a crib and without a diaper, the child does not feel the boundaries around him, this aggravates his fears and discomfort, he falls asleep badly and sleeps restlessly, constantly demanding his mother's attention (read the pros and cons of swaddling).
- Babies are very sensitive to odors, so you can put something from their mother's clothes next to the sleeping baby. Familiar smells will lull your baby's vigilance.
Swaddling and how to put your baby to bed
All these measures are unlikely to be able to completely relieve the mother of the need for motion sickness and the child's sleep in her arms, but they can make the "manual" period easier for the mother and give her the opportunity to rest sometimes. Sleep on hands will remain only for cases of exacerbation of the need to stay close to mom, and will cease to be a constant phenomenon in family life.
- How to quickly lull a child: 7 proven ways
- How to teach a child to sleep separately (in his crib)
- When is the best time to stop swaddling your baby and should he be rocked?
- How to put a child to sleep without tears and whims
- Video: 5 secret ways to put a child to bed (LIFE HACK for MOM)
- Tracy Hogg shares the secrets of laying babies
- An ingenious trick - how to put a child to sleep in 1 minute
- 6 things to help your baby fall asleep
- 5 secret ways to put your child to bed (LIFE HACK for MOM)
- How to train your child to sleep separately from their parents
