Postpartum depression in moms is a common and well-studied phenomenon, but it turns out that some men have similar symptoms. And although depression is less common among young dads, a devil-may-care attitude toward its manifestations can negatively affect all household members and, above all, the child. How can you recognize postpartum depression in men? Its signs, causes, treatment will be discussed in the article.
What is Postpartum Depression?
According to studies conducted in different countries of the world, up to 25% of women and up to 10% of men suffer from postpartum depression. Moreover, if the study of postpartum disorders in women has been conducted over the past 50 years, then psychologists and doctors first drew attention to the problems of newly-made fathers only a few years ago.
Depression is not just a depressed mood or melancholy that torments parents, but a serious illness that requires competent and qualified help. After all, now mom and dad have to think about themselves and about the newborn baby.
The appearance of a baby in the family causes dramatic changes in the life of spouses who are accustomed to stable relationships. The kid takes up all his free time, constantly cries and interferes with sleep. Most parents quickly adapt to new conditions, but some take a very long time to get used to a new role, which causes depression.
How to recognize postpartum depression in your husband: symptoms and signs
The signs of this phenomenon in fathers and mothers are somewhat similar: sleep disturbance, fatigue and apathy. However, the way men respond to postpartum depression is significantly different from that of women, making diagnosis difficult. And yet, experts have identified the main symptoms by which one can judge whether the young dad has psycho-emotional problems.
- The spouse spends little time with the baby or tries in every possible way to avoid contact with him. In a normal state, the father wants to be with the child all his free time (unless, of course, he is tired at work), but with depression, such communication seems meaningless.
- The newly made father is annoyed because of any little thing, so constant quarrels arise in the family. A scandal can literally break out because of any "spark", for example, because of an uncooked dinner or dirty dishes.
- The young father began to linger at the workplace or is looking for any excuse not to appear at home. If this was not observed before the birth of the baby, then this should alert the spouse.
- Men with postpartum depression are prone to impulsive and risky behaviors, such as reckless driving, alcohol abuse and even extramarital affairs.
- Also, a spouse can become withdrawn, lose his former interest in hobbies and hobbies, and turn off from an active social life. If a man does not talk about what is happening at work, does not share news, is not interested in household chores, a woman should pay special attention to this.
The reasons for this behavior
Surely women will have a natural question: "Why should a young dad suffer from depression?" It was not he who carried and gave birth to a baby, and even after childbirth, the main chores fall on fragile female shoulders. And yet, where does paternal postpartum depression come from?
- Unpreparedness for change. These are women preparing for the appearance of children even before pregnancy, and most future fathers, by and large, do not realize how their lives will change with the appearance of a baby (We also read: How to know if your husband wants a child).
- The difference between expectations and reality. Men expect their paternal instinct to awaken immediately after the appearance of a cute toddler in the house. However, after sleepless nights, dirty diapers and a loud roar, this instinct for some reason does not appear. And only after a few years, the father begins to tinker with a smart and talkative child with pleasure.
- Longing for the former freedom. Some dads, accustomed to having fun with their buddies on weekends, realize with bitterness that their former freedom is a thing of the past.
- Spouse's requirements. Not every man is ready to share with his wife all the worries and troubles associated with a newborn. Perhaps the woman puts too much pressure on him, asserting that "the husbands of my friends should not be forced to wash the dishes, clean the apartment and take a walk with their son."
- Fatigue. Sleep deprivation and chronic overwork (work, home, child) affect a man's mood and the work of his nervous system. Sometimes fatigue builds up for months, and sometimes depression can occur after a couple of weeks.
- Lack of female attention. With the birth of a baby, almost all the attention of a woman goes to him, and not to her husband. It's no surprise that a man lacks hugs, kisses, and a fulfilling sex life.
- Changes in the wife's appearance. After giving birth, many women change their figure, they appear extra pounds. And sometimes there is no time at all to take care of yourself. Not every man is ready to love and desire a spouse, regardless of her appearance and excess weight (We also read: how to lose weight after childbirth).
How to get rid of postpartum depression?
You need to work together to fight depression. Not only the spouse, but also the wife must change themselves and their attitude towards family responsibilities. What exactly needs to be done?
- Be sure to have a heart-to-heart talk, find out what worries your husband, tell us about what worries you. Ideally, you need to find a solution that would suit both spouses.
- Set up a shift schedule so that both mom and dad can get enough sleep and rest. For example, today the wife will get up to the screaming baby, and tomorrow the husband. If the parents get too tired, you can try to hire a nanny for your child (read how to choose a nanny).
- A woman needs to make time to put herself in order. However, the spouse must also support the spouse and take care of the child completely into their own hands for a couple of hours a day. So a young mother will sooner regain her former slender figure.
- A young dad, who works and helps his wife as much as he can, sometimes needs to get out of the hustle and bustle of the house: watch TV, play a computer game, meet with friends. But a woman should also see her friends, go to a cafe or cinema.
- The father needs more time and the help of his wife to quickly get used to the new role. The spouse can tell and subtly show how to handle the newborn. It is also necessary for the three of us to spend more time: walking, visiting grandmothers, meeting with family friends.
- It is important for young parents to seek help from their relatives, who will be able to sit with the baby, go to the clinic, take him to their place for the whole day. The free time can be spent on harmonizing marital relations.
- If the psycho-emotional state of the spouse only worsens, you need to consult a specialist, ask for qualified support from a psychotherapist. Remember that depression in a man can have serious consequences.
Perhaps it is strange for young mothers to hear that men also have postpartum depression. However, the fact remains. Lack of help in this state can ruin even the strongest relationships. The woman's task is to notice this threat in time and support her spouse.
For mum:10 tips HOW to get rid of depression after childbirth: signs and causes of depression (many real videos) - https://razvitie-krohi.ru/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/poslerodovaya-depressiya.html
Postpartum psychosis: causes, symptoms and treatment - https://razvitie-krohi.ru/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/poslerodovoy-psihoz.html
