In the summer, children spend a lot of time visiting their grandparents. There is often misunderstanding between the older and younger generations. Children complain that much is forbidden to them, in response, grandparents complain that their grandchildren are ill-mannered and disobedient. Parents have to balance between two fires.
Let's look at what grandparents are like, and try to divide them into types in relation to their grandchildren. Maybe this will help different generations to reach mutual understanding and improve relations with each other.
1. Rangers
It can be difficult to persuade grandparents of this type to sit with babies. They always immediately say that they have a lot of their own business, and they are not at all obliged to look after their grandchildren.
All concern for the younger members of the family comes down to them to feed and put them to bed. For such grandparents, children remain on their own, there is no control over them. When the older generation is not too harsh with them and gives them freedom, then the children are quite happy with everything.
2. Controllers
This is an extremely opposite type of grandparents, who, on the contrary, are too serious with their grandchildren and seek to organize total control over them. Since they have been entrusted with children, they are completely responsible for them. In this case, the life of the grandchildren passes under constant and vigilant attention: "Where did you go?", "Who called?", "Why is the forehead wet?" ...
This category of grandparents considers it their duty to report in detail to the parents of their children. They also regularly reprimand them for raising ungrateful daughters or sons who eat porridge poorly, are capricious, and hardly agree to go to bed.
Children of such grandparents can hardly bear it and try to evade communication with them.
3. Teachers
Such grandmothers and grandfathers, as a rule, were teachers in the previous, before retirement life. They believe that their main task is to fully develop the child, even during the holidays. Children are forced to solve problems, study Russian, and take them to concerts of classical music. In general, the child should spend every second with maximum benefit.
Children usually love grandparents from the category of teachers, because they feel their care, but still they prefer to communicate with them in dosage.
4. Partners
There are also some grandparents who do not make much difference between themselves and their grandchildren. They let children into their lives and are keenly interested in their lives. Relationships in such cases are built trusting and equal, and agreement becomes the main method of influence. Sometimes there are even alliances against parents. Children are allowed to eat sweets and go out late. The grandchildren are allowed to do much of the forbidden by their parents, explaining this by the fact that while they are small, let them play and pamper, and they will still have time to become adults and serious.
Children are very fond of grandparents, who act as their partners, only such are rare.
How to interact with different types of grandparents?
It is unlikely that you will be able to change the habits and worldview of adults. Therefore, the most reasonable thing is to adapt to them, which should be explained to children.
Each of us periodically meets people with different values, views and life priorities. They disagree with our opinions and carefully defend their point of view. The same applies to the older generation.
You cannot change the elderly. They have accumulated their life experience, on the basis of which their current life position was built. It is more correct to accept it with respect.
Understand for yourself and explain to the children that the elderly need to be accepted as they are, you should not be angry and offended by them. Then the child will have the opportunity to understand the reasons for the behavior and the point of view of his grandparents. So he will learn to negotiate and find a consensus. This will be very useful in the future.
Remember: as we treat elders, our children will treat us as we grow old.
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