Why parents constantly reproach their children for disobedience. Why children are forbidden to have fun, explore the world and make noise in public. What can constant prohibitions lead to?
All our problems come from childhood. Some parents paid almost no attention, someone suffered from his surplus. And, of course, permanent bans ...
What is the ideal world for parents? A world in which children do not throw tantrums, eat well, recite Pushkin's poems, read Shakespeare's sonnets in the original and never contradict adults.
Ideal children always and everywhere behave culturally. In clinics, in shops, on public transport, and just on the street, the child should not make noise. And no matter how old he is, this rule applies to at least two years old. Well, if a child allows himself a prank, he must certainly be pulled up and sharply besieged. And it turns out that we pull back our children for any reason, regardless of whether they really interfere with someone or not.
And if mom doesn’t scream or make harsh remarks, then she’s a bad mom. She is a useless mother who cannot even cope with her child. Who even allows such knots to give birth ?!
Techniques such as Montessori are quite popular in the west, but have not yet found widespread use in our country. Especially among people of the older generation, who in their childhood, apart from a couple of wooden toys and a plastic doll, had no joy. Does the child want to go into the closet and check what is there? Rattling spoons and pans or opening the door of the washing machine and see what's hidden inside? Parents, as a rule, try to protect the child from such research, without thinking about the fact that thereby ruining his desire for knowledge, ruining the thirst for research. Young children can be incredibly stubborn when trying to learn new things. But parents, trying to protect their children from everything in the world, are no less stubborn. And at some point, the child will begin to realize that all his attempts are useless and will stop striving for new discoveries.
And the child should always greet everyone and smile at the people with whom his relatives talk. And it doesn't matter that the baby is only a year old, he must definitely smile at the aunt with whom his mother is talking. Uncommunicative and impolite children only dishonor their mothers!
Ideally, children should be quieter than water, below the grass. A child crying in a clinic is embarrassing, a child running between shelves in a store is wild, a screaming child on an airplane is simply inappropriate, and if you come to a restaurant and the child threw a tantrum there, it is generally unacceptable. Burn to such a worthless mother in hell!
Almost everything is forbidden to children, they try to drive them into certain limits, beyond which it is simply impossible to go beyond. If European children do not indulge in food at the table, then Russian children are really a role model: in public places they cannot be seen or heard. But what is there in public, even at home, children are forbidden to play noisy games, run and jump on the floor, because at any moment an evil neighbor from below will come and tell the unfortunate mother everything that she thinks about her methods of raising.
There are more and more bans every day. And, it would seem, mothers do it with the best intentions, they want to raise their children smart and well-mannered, but they do not appreciate this at all and always strive to be naughty behind their backs.
Over time, children who are forbidden from everything become correct and comfortable. It is only when they cease to be children that they invariably face nervous breakdowns and problems in their own families.
But what happens if the child behaves the way he wants? Will this really make someone feel bad?
After all, not a single cabinet has suffered from the fact that its door was opened and closed 10 times. And the kitchen pots probably did not deteriorate after the child played with them. Yes, and an unfamiliar aunt can think about raising a child whatever she wants, and nothing terrible will happen from this. Your child is what he is - noisy, cheerful, inquisitive, intelligent. And if he is in a bad mood, he can afford to be a little capricious. And please, do not deprive him of his childhood!
- What can and cannot be prohibited to a child
- Parental prohibitions - benefit and harm: consultation of psychologist Irina Mlodik
