Does communication with grandmother always benefit the grandson? What grannies should you protect your baby from? 7 types of grandmothers dangerous for the child's psyche.
"When I was little, I also had a grandmother" - these words, following the cinematic hero from the movie "Welcome, or No Trespassing Entry" can be repeated by every adult. Our memories of grandmothers are always colored with warm feelings: who else could give us so much love and care. We liked everything about them: delicious pies, and good stories about mom's childhood, and nice presents, and most importantly, their sincere affection and affection. But there are also such grandmothers, the time of communication of the child with whom should be limited to preserve his own psyche. Let's name some types of such would-be grandmothers.
Grandmother hen
"Immediately get off this slide, you can fall!", "Zip up, the wind is today!", "Take your child away from my grandson, he will fill his eyes with sand!" - how often one can hear such hysterical exclamations on the playground.
The child does not face any serious danger, it is just that the grandmother feels her hyperresponsibility: "No matter what happens." Such elderly ladies are afraid not so much for the child as for themselves, because they are responsible for watching over the baby, and if something happens to him, they will be to blame. If you constantly crawl to the child with instructions, then soon he will cease to perceive them altogether, therefore, when the moment of real danger comes, he can ignore grandmother's words and get into trouble. Unleash such a grandmother, and she will turn any tomboy into a mumble, who is afraid of his own shadow.
Granny who cares
This type is the opposite of the previous one. From conversations between parents and grandmother on the phone: “Does the child have a fever? “It's okay, I gave him a pill and took him out for a walk”; “Mom, how is our daughter doing? “I don’t know, now I’ll see where she runs”; “What did you eat there? - Yes, I cut a lard with an onion, our baby ate so well. These grannies are more concerned with their leisure time than with their child. During walks, they prefer to send their grandchildren to play with other children, while they themselves are engaged in “washing bones” for neighbors and relatives. Leaving a child with them for a long time is fraught with major troubles.
Grandmother nurse
There are grandmothers who make a cult out of food. They all the time think that their grandchildren are too thin, eat little, parents do not monitor the nutrition of their children. Therefore, when they are alone with their grandson, they try to feed him as satisfying as possible, persuading him to eat another spoon and another. Fairy tales, cartoons, table games with a typewriter (spoon) and a garage (mouth) are used. Or throw in the classic threats: "Until you eat, you won't leave the table."
These old women do not want to listen to the recommendations of the daughter-in-law or daughter regarding what to give the child for lunch. They have their own ideas about nutritious and delicious food. So they stuff it with sweet semolina porridge, rich borscht or stewed potatoes with pork. Vomiting and diarrhea, and further excess weight or a persistent aversion to food will not take long. Food violence, like any other, does not go in vain.
Grandma class teacher
Most often, these grandmothers are from former teachers and educators. They are used to commanding everyone, building everyone. They all have their own critical point of view. It is impossible to convince such elderly "commanders" of something. In their opinion, without their sensitive guidance, the family will disappear: they cannot do anything themselves - neither bathe the child, nor put the child to sleep, and they often feed the child, walk little, poorly dress and in vain open the windows in front of him.
The grandmother extends her strict teacher's view to her grandchildren. Fearing to hear a derogatory characteristic, the child is disappointed in himself, lowers his self-esteem.
"Are you a moron? Who paints like this - it is necessary along the contour! Do you understand Russian language? The stress is not there! " Confident that the child has crooked hands, she will not even trust him with the TV remote control.
In dealing with this type of grandmother, grandchildren feel squeezed, they are afraid to do something wrong, as the grandmother needs. With such a teacher, the child himself will grow up notorious, and he will doubt his parents - they do not understand anything in life.
Granny compassionate
These grandmothers, unlike the previous type, seem to be kind. They pronounce words with diminutive-affectionate suffixes, but with their help they give a negative characterization: "How thin you are, your arms and legs are so thin, your health is weak, your voice is quiet, barely audible."
Such definitions lead to the fact that the child actually begins to perceive himself as sick and inferior, like the hero of the movie "Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board", which proudly listed a dozen of his illnesses. Pitying grandmothers believe in the evil eye, they are ready to drag their grandson to doctors and healers.
Grandmother sufferer
Always complaining about fate, health, children of the old woman. They see the negative in everything: in politics and public life, in family relationships, in material condition. A child who is left alone with such a grandmother has to listen over and over again how unfairly she was deprived of her pension supplement, how her blood pressure rises and what his parents are selfish - they threw a child on her who needs to be taken out of the kindergarten and sit with him while they will return from work.
"Heavy man" - this is the name of this type of people. But if adults know how to distance themselves from such, then the child has nowhere to go, he has to take all the grandmother's negative on himself.
Grandma comparing
Child development is a concern for these older ladies. They constantly compare their grandchildren with other children who started walking much earlier, asking for a potty, talking, reading, helping around the house. Such grandmothers love to read pedagogical literature, delve into the Internet, finding new samples for comparison not in favor of their grandchildren.
Instead of really engaging in the development of the baby: reading with him, drawing, putting together a puzzle, learning a song, the grandmother tells him about the boy next door, who, unlike him, turns out to be five. The child, feeling his backwardness, as a result closes in himself, uncertainty is born in him, which interferes so much both in study and in communication with peers.
We talked about extreme cases, somewhat exaggerating the negative qualities of various types of grandmothers. For the most part, these are adequate, loving grandchildren, kind old women, and everyone has shortcomings.
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