As you often hear from young mothers: "I practically raise a child alone, even my mother does not help me." Maybe these "mourners" want to be pitied, or maybe they want to look independent, independent, a kind of Berry Women.
Most often, before, adult children lived with their parents, it was very difficult to get a separate living space. All were "cooked in one pot", and, of course, the grandchildren were looked after. Now the situation has changed. Young people want to live independently, in their apartments. At the same time, many expect that grandmothers will take, and simply cannot but take, all the upbringing of their child on themselves, because we, young parents, need to build our careers (maybe someone else has other reasons). And when this does not happen the way they would like, they start complaining about the older generation.
I recently attended an alumni meeting: 10 years since we graduated from high school. Yesterday's girls got together and let's talk about their life, about how difficult it is for them.
One friend stated that her mother had completely withdrawn from the life of their family and did not help at all with the child. BUT, at the same time, she forgot to mention that her mother left them a 2-room apartment (so someone would have left me an apartment). I forgot to mention that twice a week she meets her grandson from school, goes to her house and does homework with him. And she picks up her son only after 7 pm. She also complains that they do not help her with the child, and she does everything herself. And this is called "I am all myself"!
Another classmate after graduation stayed to live in another city, got married, gave birth. Her mom is retired but continues to work to help her daughter pay off her car loan. In the summer she takes her grandson to her place. BUT, the beloved daughter does not have time to take them in her car, and the grandmother has to go home with the child for 3 hours by bus. And again her statements that her mother lives in another city, and that she alone is spinning like a squirrel in a wheel and her mother does not help her, outraged me to the core.
The conversation about helping parents in raising grandchildren was continued by a graduate from a parallel class. She said with indignation that when her daughter fell ill, and she did not want to take sick leave, her mother refused to sit with the child, you see, there is a lot of work in the garden. But grandmother and grandfather supplies her whole family with fresh vegetables, berries and twists, working without straightening their backs on their ten hundred square meters. I know that after the birth of the baby, this woman lived with her mother for six months, because she did not know what to do with the child, how to feed, bathe, swaddle him ... And again: "How we live ... I am all by myself, by myself ..."
I wanted to ask: “Do you help your mothers? What do you know about their lives? Are you often interested in health? Do you support elderly parents financially? " They do not understand that our mothers are not eternal. And only having lost them, you begin to realize how hard it is WHEN YOU REALLY educate yourself.
It is very offensive to realize that the feasible participation of grandmothers in raising children is devalued, young people take help for granted, and even flaunt their difficulties.
