I, like many other women, tend to reflect on the topic of family relationships. When is flexibility worth it and where is clear boundaries needed? In many situations, I was overcome by doubts about what to do. Often I was inclined to give up some personal life values in order to maintain a relationship with my beloved. But one day an insight came to me.
I am already a mother four times, and this experience helped me understand how to build a relationship with my husband when we became parents. I realized and made it clear to my beloved that my mother's work is as important as his work. And there are a few things that I definitely will not tolerate from him. There are at least 5 such moments.
Three course dinner and tired mom
All sorts of everyday quibbles like “why didn’t wash the dishes before my arrival” or “where the three-course lunch / dinner” happened with us. Until I reconsidered my attitude to this issue.
Do you want a fancy dinner? Perfectly! Take care of the baby on your day off, and in the meantime I will "conjure" in the kitchen. And with great pleasure.
Does she love if she is jealous?
I do not agree to put up with the fact that I am outraged and morally exhausting. One of those things is jealousy. My husband literally harassed me with her while I was on maternity leave with our first two babies. Then, fortunately, we both changed and matured. Now my friend has a similar situation. And I know what to advise her: do not bear it!
In my opinion, you should immediately rush into the attack: “Do you suspect me of infidelity? I have many times more reasons for suspicion about you. Let's switch places for the weekend. I’ll leave for the whole day, and you’ll sit with the baby. I won't be offended if you walk left and right at the same time. "
Fair counting instead of dispute
From my friends you can sometimes hear: “my friend doesn’t give money for this or that,” “my husband doesn’t allow me to make such purchases”. Things like that are outrageous!
My mission in the family is as important as that of my husband. Yes, I am involved in a non-profit project as a leading specialist. This does not bring me income and at least some kind of return so far. Although, as one of the greats said, investing in children is one of the best investments.
But don't forget: this is a family project! Therefore, I have the right to manage the joint budget - the same as that of my beloved. And without having to account for every penny.
Games with a child
My husband often dismissed my requests to sit at least a little with the baby. Like, he doesn't know what to do with him. Unlike me, spending a lot of time with our baby. I just offered to teach him. And she said that I believe he will succeed.
For a child's full development, the father is no less important than the mother. I need emotional recovery, and my husband needs the formation of affection, authority with a son or daughter, and self-confidence.
Is hitting a sign of love?
My beloved tried to hit me only once. Fortunately for him and the preservation of our relationship. I myself provoked my wife, but his nerves could not stand it. And in a state of emotional heat, he grabbed me by the back of the neck. There weren't even bruises left after that. It didn't hurt either.
This experience helped me learn an important life lesson. I helped my husband understand that I would not tolerate anything like this and would not forgive. For myself, I concluded: there are certain boundaries that it is undesirable to cross in a relationship with a loved one.
Whether to tolerate any of the above or other controversial moments in your family, everyone decides for himself. But I do believe that maintaining a healthy mother's psyche and adequate self-esteem helps maintain the well-being of the entire family.
