Situations in which a child starts rolling on the floor and banging his head against a wall or floor completely disarm adults. Even parents, who have unprecedented self-control, most often shake off and react to the baby's behavior as follows: either rush to calm him down, or become even more irritated and start screaming and threatening punishment.
What is the reason for this behavior and what to do if the child, not sparing his head, knocks on the walls with it, says children's doctor Yevgeny Komarovsky.
What's happening?
When a child rolls on the floor and bangs his head and everything that hit the walls or the floor, parents involuntarily think that something is wrong with him. But Dr. Komarovsky reassures - this is a manifestation of the usual childish tantrum.
Mental illnesses, which are accompanied by such actions of the patient, are rare, and you should not think about them, if all the time the baby leads a completely sane lifestyle, it is adequate, but such incidents happen to him from time to time.
Tantrums in one form or another are characteristic of almost all children, especially during periods of age "crises" - at 1 year old, at 2-3 years old, at 5-7 years old. They should not be considered a disease; rather, they are a sign of adult pedagogical errors.
A child usually has many reasons for throwing a tantrum at his parents. This is both the impossibility, due to age, to tell in words what you want or about what worries, and the wrong daily routine, as a result of which the baby is noticeably tired by the evening and simply cannot somehow cope with his emotional "swing", and common pedagogical neglect.
If a child once tried to apply a tantrum, and it brought the desired results for him (he got what he wanted), then there is no doubt that the toddler will practice such an effective way of manipulating the feelings of adults with enviable regularity.
Hysteria in a one-year-old child and a toddler younger is almost always associated with some kind of disturbance in his health, since such children do not yet know how to manipulate. But already in one and a half to two years, this behavior turns into an excellent tool to achieve what you want.
How to proceed?
Evgeny Komarovsky urges parents to be prudent and not to allow themselves to be manipulated.
If a child falls, hits himself on the head, bites his hands, then adults need to understand well that all this is done exclusively for them.
If at this moment you leave the room and leave the child alone, having previously created a safe space for him so that he does not cripple, expressing his emotions, then very soon the need for hysterics will disappear.
Children stop using it when they see that their antics are not touched or interested in any adult family member, that the result will not be achieved.
Yevgeny Komarovsky claims that it will not be easy at first, but the parents must remain icy calm.
If an adult shows that the child's hysterics annoys him, then this will also be regarded by the baby as a result, not quite the one he expected, but quite bearable.
If the parents have the idea that something is still wrong with the child, no one bothers to show it to the pediatrician, neurologist, psychologist, psychiatrist. And if these specialists do not reveal serious mental deviations and lesions of the central nervous system, then you can relax and begin the pedagogical elimination of hysterics as such.
Everyone will be worn out in different ways. If the parents have concerns that the child may injure his face, head, limbs, then it is best to offer him a pillow, soft ottomans. With such devices, it will be more convenient to fight, and there will be less bruising.
If a child not only knocks his head, but also suffocates, his breath catches, parents should also not panic. This happens if the child, crying, suddenly exhales the entire reserve volume of air from the lungs.
You just need to blow the baby in the face, and he will take a reflex breath, breathing will be restored.
To punish or not?
Despite the fact that many popular advisers recommend spanking the hysterical, Evgeny Komarovsky opposes physical punishment... Such a way out is a way of relaxation for the parent, but it does not in any way contribute to solving the problems of the child's hysteria. Moreover, the toddler will quickly understand that blows can be used to resolve issues, which he will begin to use in everyday life.
If you cannot cope with the irritation, it is better to put the child in a corner for a time that corresponds to the baby's age: at 1 year - for 1 minute, at 2 years - for two minutes, and so on. You need to punish right away, and not after the day has passed, because after lunch the kid will simply forget that he was rolling on the floor in the store in the morning, shaming the parent and demanding the purchase of another typewriter.
Prevention of repeated tantrums
After the parents have successfully overcome one tantrum, they should take care that the episodes of repetition are gradually minimized. Observation will help with this.
Usually, inappropriate behavior has similar prerequisites and circumstances to the onset of the tantrum. The child, before falling to the floor, behaves in a similar way - rubs his eyes or starts to sniff.
When you detect signs of a "coming storm", you need to try to immediately distract the child, switch his attention to something else. It will also be helpful to start attending kindergarten as early as possible.
Evgeny Komarovsky tells more about children's tantrums in this video.
