Postpartum depression is a term familiar to many. Not every woman realizes that she is on the verge of this state. With the advent of a baby, the life of every mother is divided into "before" and "after", this transitional state for many becomes a reason to completely forget all dreams of happy motherhood.
Postpartum depression
The psyche of babies up to a year
The first year of a child's life, from a psychological point of view, is the most difficult for a mother. Children of this age instinctively want to feel their warm mother next to them, who will feed and caress. A child subconsciously feels a threat when he does not see or feel it nearby.
Babies of this age completely obey their basic instincts. In addition, they cannot say what they want, which is why they always shout: when they are hungry, and when they are hot, and when they are lonely.
Important! Inexperienced women are often panicked by a child's cry. When it is impossible to think logically, all that remains for a tired woman is to yell at the restless baby.
Possible causes of failure
Quite a few mothers with horror catch themselves thinking: “I am breaking into a baby! So I am a bad mother! " However, you cannot scold yourself at this stage. First of all, you need to understand the reasons. If you look at the problem globally, then there is only one reason - life has changed dramatically, and a woman cannot return everything to its place.
Laying out every day of her life on the shelves, a young mother will be able to mark smaller details:
- Constant severe physical and psychological fatigue weakens the nerves. Unable to get enough sleep, a woman begins to believe that now it will be like this all her life.
- Lack of time for yourself. With the advent of a baby, a young mother loses the ability to take care of herself, which is why she turns from an attractive girl into a gray mouse.
- The connection with her husband is lost. With the birth of a child, the poor thing has neither time nor energy for a husband. He, realizing that his wife plunged into new worries, continues to live in his parallel.
- The inability to agree with the baby about a break in the daily marathon forces the woman to give up and feel completely unhappy.
- Bureaucratic procedures, which must be started immediately after discharge from the hospital, add fuel to the fire, which gives rise to real nervous breakdowns.
Important! Almost every woman who has given birth for the first time experiences psychological difficulties. In this situation, there is no fault of the young mother. She is a victim of circumstances who needs help.
Lack of sleep is the cause of breakdowns
When is it time for a mother to seek help?
If a woman once hit a baby out of anger, a psychotherapist is urgently needed. Relatives in no case should blame the young mother for what she did. On the contrary, they must certainly feel sorry for her, and they must blame themselves. Without the support of loved ones in such a situation, a rare woman will not go crazy.
The sooner you help a confused mother, the easier it will be to recover. Relatives may suspect a problem if:
- a young mother is indifferent to the child, performs all functions like a robot, without showing tenderness;
- the woman has become whiny, crying for no apparent reason;
- Mom began to break down at everyone who came to her hand.
Everyday life of a young mother is filled with worries, many are wondering why motherhood is considered wonderful by everyone, when, in fact, a rare mother of an infant looks radiant with happiness.
Who can help
At the initial stage, the one who is nearby - the husband - should help. Not the grandmother of the newborn, but the husband, who led his family and took responsibility for a new life. The main mistake of young mothers is that they are afraid to lose face in front of their spouse. However, there is nothing wrong with the fact that a woman who first picks up a newborn baby may not understand or be able to do something. Each time, sharing her thoughts with her husband, she will be able to find answers to many questions.
Interesting! The husband has an advantage - he does not suffer from a surge in postpartum hormones and is not literally attached to the baby. His brain works as before. Therefore, it is emotionally stable dads who can quickly find a solution to many problems.
In order not to become a hostage of the situation, it is important to realize in time that there is a problem. It is easy to find it, catching yourself thinking: "I'm falling for the baby!" For a start, you can independently look for a way out, breaking down on something else. The solution may be:
- a diary in which a woman will write down all her thoughts and experiences;
- a forum where thousands of women, finding themselves in similar conditions, share experiences and support each other;
- a mirror, looking into which, mom can scream and cry, throwing out everything that has accumulated inside.
Revelations with reflection
If a woman in the family does not find someone to speak to, she will need the help of a psychologist, then a psychotherapist.
10 rules for preventing emotional breakdowns
The arrival of a small family member must be accompanied by a sensitive attitude towards his mother in order to avoid her acquaintance with postpartum depression. As soon as harsh phrases began to break from mom's lips, it is necessary to remember 10 rules for restoring her psycho-emotional health:
- She needs to sleep when the baby sleeps. Not getting enough sleep can shake your nerves. Therefore, the first 3 months do not need to think about daily washing the floor and sleep as often as possible.
- Take a warm bath every evening. Before the procedure, you need to breastfeed or formula feed the baby, put him in your crib, lie in the bath yourself and close the door. Nothing should bother Mom at this time. If the baby cries, dad will take him in his arms.
- On weekends, a mother should leave a well-fed baby with her husband and go to the store or to her friend for an hour and a half.
- If mom wants to, let the baby sleep in the same bed with her. This should be done in order to save her from having to get up every two to three hours.
- Watch video lectures by popular pediatricians on childcare, especially on exciting topics. Lack of information often leads to frustration.
- All relatives, especially the husband, often praise their wife, say compliments.
- The husband should offer his help as often as possible, spare the strength of his beloved woman.
- Mom must accept herself along with her shortcomings. Do not be ashamed of the fact that you sometimes want to yell at someone.
- Recall your past victories to restore self-esteem.
- Putting your interests above others, a happy mother is a happy child.
Shared sleep
If a woman does not die of fatigue and lack of sleep, she will not become angry and irritated. So that a young mother does not break down at a baby, all that relatives should do is to put mother's needs above children's whims.
