How to wean a child

Gently bringing the baby into the waiting home, at first you are ready to carry it in your arms as long as you need it, as you carried it before birth for nine months under your heart. But the days go by, fatigue builds up, it begins to seem that the crumb cannot wait for you in silence for a second. Things are multiplying, I want to be distracted, to rest. Suddenly it dawns on you: yes, I seem to pamper him. Why is he harmful, refuses to understand, does not allow to do anything except him? Therefore, the question of how to wean a child from the hands is quite popular on various Internet forums and blogs.

Why does the baby need mother's hands

Remember! You can wean a child from the hands even in the first month, even in a year, even at two years ... Here you decide for yourself when to start doing it. And do I need to start at all!

A newborn baby is completely defenseless. For now, he can only say something to his mother, from whom he is torn away, with a cry. This he does, especially the restless kid. He can give signals for help when:

He wants to eat. For a baby on formula, the interval between feedings is about 3 hours. With natural feeding, they are much smaller;
Small, but insidious troubles overtook him - the baby wet himself, pooped. Wet, disgusting. Nobody will like it;
Hot or cold. Newborns poorly keep temperature. Therefore, dress the frozen baby, but do not overheat;
Colic suffers. A common problem up to three months of age. Special preparations, careful massage, and also "dry heat" help: the child must be pressed with his tummy to himself;
I got sick. Alas, this happens;
It is uncomfortable to lie down. This is facilitated by poorly laid diapers, the absence of a change in position, the ability to move;
He is lonely, scared, bored. Of course, a small child does not know the name of these sensations. But he feels them. And the children also feel their mother's mood, and her irritation or unwillingness to take them makes them look for warmth even more. This also applies to older children;
Wants to sleep. Crying can be an unconscious reaction of the body, and should not be picked up immediately. Perhaps he will fall asleep on his own.

Related article: why is a child crying how to understand the reason for crying

If you can't calm your baby with motion sickness, don't panic. Perhaps this method of calming is not suitable for him - just as not all children are suitable for swaddling. Look for another way to distract and calm him down. But then you don't have to wean the baby out of your hands.

Remember: being at your breast, in your familiar arms, the baby again feels like a part of you. He gets the physical contact he naturally needs. This is how a sense of trust is formed. When there is no response to the baby's signals, it will form cut down, which will then be reflected in the entire emotional side of his life. However, your response must be timely. Hugging or lifting no faster than the child asked for it, and no later than the moment when the child's call turns into hysterics - this is one of the first conditions for the correct development of the child, confident in the love of parents and the safety of the world.

How much do you need it

Consider why it is so important for you to wean your child. If there is no need to return to work, then what is the reason: time for yourself, or the fear that the child will move from the hands to the neck, will be a weakling? ..

If the reason is tiredness, sit down, discuss the situation with your husband. Contact your mom, your friends. Ask for help. Distribute responsibilities. Alas, while you have to live in a zone of discomfort, but it will pass. As well as the miracle of growing up of his own child. Remember: you are on leave for the daily and difficult care of a growing child - not an apartment.

On this topic. We strongly recommend that you familiarize yourself with:
How a young mother to cope with a child and household chores - tips and tricks.
And additional tips for young mothers - how not to go crazy after childbirth 🙂

If you are completely unbearable

The ways to reduce the time the child is in the arms are simple, but they invariably require patience, love, understanding, and confidence. In order for the baby to stop using you as a horse around the clock, you need to do the following:

Do not take away the opportunity to be on your hands abruptly. It will become a trauma, a punishment. Act gradually, calmly, gently, consistently;
Talk about everything around you with your child, sing different songs, nursery rhymes, tell interesting fairy tales. The kid will understand: mom is with him;
Hang the mobile over the baby's bed. Change toys, show them to the baby;
Show pictures, household items, describe them;
Get a development mat. Many children are interested in it;
On a walk, try to show something to the child, to tell. Let him sleep less outside. Falling asleep at home after an intense walk, he will give you the opportunity to do chores;
If the stroller is in the apartment, the baby can be put in it. The same goes for child seats or rockers. Spread a blanket for crawling babies, lay out toys;
Take your child with you to the kitchen. Explain what you are doing. By observing you nearby, he will worry less;
Do not shake when going to bed. Ventilate the room. Stroke your baby on the tummy, sing a lullaby. You can hold it on your knees for a while, and, catching the moment of falling asleep, put it in bed. Woke up - repeat this technique.

As you become weaned, think: the baby will soon grow up. Enjoy its growth. After all, a child will not come running to handles, falling in front of classmates or having failed in a relationship. You will remember with warmth and regret the process of weaning your now grown-up child from the hands. Remember: everything on earth has its time.

If the child sleeps with his parents, then the time comes when it is time for the baby to sleep in his crib - we teach the child to sleep in his crib separately from his mother.
There are situations when a child falls asleep only in his arms, and as soon as you put it in the crib, he immediately wakes up, here is the article where we wrote about this.
It will also be interesting to learn how to properly wean a baby from a baby bottle (+ there are many links to useful publications in the article).