Having a child is a serious challenge for a married couple. Even if before this event “peace and quiet” reigned in the family, serious passions can flare up with the appearance of the baby. The wife begins to accuse her husband of not helping her at all with the child, around the house. The “accused” puts forward a counter “claim”: the wife literally drowned in diapers and undershirts, she is not interested in anything except the child, and he feels unloved and lonely.
As a rule, this kind of problem most often occurs in those couples who have a fairly short period of cohabitation. How can you go through this happy, but at the same time, difficult period in a relationship.
How can dad get involved in caring for a small child?
Start preparing your husband for the birth of a child and the need to help you even during pregnancy. But don't limit yourself to a vague phrase: "I will need your help."
Men naturally need specifics.
- Tell him what "additional" chores will fall on you, why it will be so important to do them all.
- Emphasize that you need more rest after giving birth, and some household chores may be strictly prohibited.
- Because men trust authoritative opinion, "accidentally" show him an article in a specialized magazine with a suitable topic. For the same reason, ask your doctor to write down all the recommendations upon discharge. As you can imagine, it is imperative to hand over doctor's orders to your husband. Discuss in advance what worries your husband will take on.
It must be economic affairs: mopping the floors, the old man and ironing - all this can be done by the husband for a while. Explain to him how important his actions are for you and the child, emphasizing that without his help you would be lost.
Be sure to give your husband the responsibility of caring for the newborn. Many men are afraid to take very young children in their arms: show how to properly hold the baby. Think of his “sacred” action for the newly made dad: let him prepare a bathtub for bathing and the necessary accessories or walk with the baby. You will see that the husband will very soon “get a taste” and stop perceiving these actions as a “obligation”.
Don't get hung up on rules and guidelines. Diapers ironed on both sides are no more important for your baby than happy mom and dad next to them. Be considerate and patient with each other. Do not make yourself a heroine: giving birth to a child for a woman is normal and natural. Spend more time with your husband, because while rocking or feeding your baby, you can enjoy a joint conversation or just silence, when your whole family is together and you don't need phrases to be happy.
