Usually, interest in the history of their appearance in children appears at the age of "why", that is, about 3-4 years. Until this age, even looking at their infant photographs, the child usually does not ask the question "Where did I come from?" This interest is completely normal, but for a long time this topic was hushed up, and the children were “brushed aside” by all the well-known clichés: “found in cabbage”, “brought by a stork”.
Modern psychologists argue that fictional stories about the appearance of a child in a family ("Found in cabbage", "brought by a stork") strongly undermine the child's trust in parents, because someday the child will still find out the truth and will be upset by the parental slyness.
When explaining to a child where children come from, one must speak truthfully, but this truth must be adapted to the age of an inquisitive person. The older the child, the more questions about "this" he has. Parents should prepare for such questions in advance so that they do not catch mom or dad by surprise and do not make the child doubt the sincerity of adults.
How to talk to a child 3-4 years old
At the age of about 3 years, the child begins to feel like a person and for the first time identifies himself with representatives of one of the sexes - boys or girls. In this regard, there is an interest in the structure of the body, and children notice not only the differences between boys and girls, but also pay attention to the characteristics of the body of adults. In this regard, questions regarding the purpose of the genitals, their differences (if, for example, a child on the beach saw a baby of the opposite sex) may become the harbingers of questions about childbirth. A meeting with a pregnant woman can give rise to many questions, because a belly of outstanding size will not go unnoticed. Even more often, conversations about birth begin after the baby has a chance to see or get to know the baby closely. Some children may ask the direct question "Where did I come from?" Wherever the wind of the child's interest “blows”, the task of the parents is to answer the child honestly and easily.
At 3-4 years old, there is no need to go into the physiological mechanisms of conception, gestation and childbirth. You can limit yourself to a story about how dad and mom love each other very much and really wanted a baby. As a sign of his love, dad gave mom a magic seed, which she carried in her tummy. The seed grew, and with it my mother's tummy. A baby grew out of this seed in the tummy. When he felt cramped in his house, he asked for the light and was born. Together with the story, you can show the child photos from the family album, because many couples make a memorable photo session while waiting for the baby.
When talking with a baby about his birth, it is important to emphasize that the baby was very much awaited, and that he was born as a result of great love.
We talk with a child 5-7 years old
In older preschool age, the old explanations cease to satisfy the baby. The child grows up, begins to think more difficult, acquires a certain life experience, and he is already beginning to be interested in how the seed got into the mother's stomach, how the child appeared from there, and other things. In terms of psychological development, the age of 5-7 years is the time when a child masters the world of relationships and feelings, in this regard, at this age, for the first time for himself, he discovers the world of adult relationships, including intimate ones, because it is not always possible to completely protect the child from explicit scenes on the Internet or on TV.
By and large, at the age of 5-7 years, parents will have to talk to their child about sex for the first time. It is necessary to speak on this topic in the following way: sex is normal and natural, but only adults do it. That is, on the one hand, it is important not to form a taboo on this topic in the child's mind, and on the other, to make it clear that intimate relationships are the prerogative of adults, they are not brought up for public discussion and are not advertised.
You can talk about how when people love each other - they like to be together, touch each other, hug, kiss. It is in the process of such caresses that pregnancy occurs. Talking in detail about the process of childbirth is also not worth it. We can say that a child is born in the hospital with the help of doctors.
Considering how many children in the modern world become victims of pedophiles, it is worth telling a child separately that only adult men and women make love. Therefore, if one of the adults invites him to undress or asks to touch him in intimate places, the child must immediately run away and be sure to tell his parents.
IPad app
There is a special iPad app that allows parents to explain to their child where children come from. With the help of the application, you can quite simply and easily answer your child's questions.
(clickable) Developer Studiya 158 OOO Link http://studio158.pro/work/Where-do-babies-come-from.html
Conversation "about it" with a 7-10 year old schoolboy
We are talking about pre-adolescent children. Today they are still children, but just about they will begin to turn from boys and girls into girls and boys. As a rule, at this age, children are already sufficiently knowledgeable in matters of sex and childbirth, but this knowledge is often very distorted.
The main task of parents during this period is to prepare their growing children for growing up and the changes that will occur to them in the near future. Girls need to be told about menstruation, the appearance of pubic and armpit hairs, and breast growth. For boys - about changing the proportions of the figure, nocturnal emissions, "breaking" of the voice and the appearance of facial hair. It is better to talk with a child to a parent of the same sex, that is, mothers - with girls, fathers - with boys.
For parents, these conversations can be a problem. Often, moms and dads are more embarrassed to talk about these topics than children. Perhaps it will be best if informing the child happens as if between things. You should not solemnly announce: "I need to talk to you", sit the child in front of you and read a boring lecture. From time to time, under various pretexts, you can start conversations, talk about your growing up experiences, ask about friends and girlfriends. It is also not worth overloading the child with information and complex terms, it is better to give it out in doses, give the child time to comprehend and, possibly, formulate his questions.
An encyclopedia is a convenient option for parents: you give it and let it read. It's better not to let the process take its course, and if not to tell, then at least to discuss with the child what you read.
How to talk to a teenager 11-16 years old
Maintaining a trusting relationship with a teenager is a whole art, because at this age the authority of adults is devalued. However, without trust, conversations on a sensitive topic are impossible.
Teenagers are actively interested in the opposite sex, fall in love, meet. In some ways they are still quite children, but physiologically they are already ready to lead an "adult" life. " That is why in the first place there should be conversations not about hygiene or body changes, but about family planning, conception, pregnancy, and contraception.
As in matters of preparing for growing up, in conversations with adolescents, a free atmosphere, a state of dialogue, and not dry lectures are important. It is better to talk "about it" as an equal, as an adult with an adult, calling things by their proper names and talking about real dangers. Speaking about relationships with the opposite sex and the possibility of having a child, it is important to emphasize that a child is, first of all, a great responsibility, therefore it is better if he is born consciously, in marriage, when both are ready to create a family and share responsibility ...
Parents of adolescents are always anxious: what if the child will have an early sex life? What if there will be an unwanted pregnancy or infection? Unfortunately, in some families, sex education of a child is reduced to "I will know - I will kill". Even more regretfully, in this situation, the parents have every chance of not knowing. That is why if a child shares something personal, you should not criticize, scold, condemn him.
The older the child, the more difficult questions are born in his head. For each of them he wants to get an answer, and if not in the family, then on the street or on the Internet, these answers will be found. If the child for some reason does not ask questions and does not show interest in a sensitive topic, parents should take the initiative in their own hands and start conversations first. The better a child is "armed" with information, the more he will be ready for adulthood.
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Selection of books
- Dumont Virginie. Where did I come from? Sexual encyclopedia for children 5-8 years old
- Virginie D., Montagna C. Where Do Children Come From? Sexual encyclopedia for children 8-11 years old
- “How I Was Born”, Katerina Janush, Mervi Lindman. Age: 4-6 years old
- “Where Do Children Come From?” By Doris Ruebel. Age: 4-7 years old
- The Book of Love, Pernilla Stalfelt. Age: from 4 years old
- "The main wonder of the world", Georgy Yudin. Age: 6-10 years old
- "Before You Were Born," Jennifer Davis, Laura Cornell. Age: 2-4 years
- The True Story of How A Baby Is Made by Per Holm Knudsen. Age: 3-5 years
- "A Kid's First Book About Sex," Joanie Blank. Age: 7-11 years old
- “Mommy Laid an Egg: or, Where Do Babies Come From?” By Babette Cole. Age: 3-5 years
- Where Did I Come From? By Peter Mail. Age: 7-10 years old
Where the babies come from? Author: Doris Ruebel
Best-seller
Children want to know everything in the world:
- Where the babies come from?
- How are boys and girls different?
- What does the baby do in the mother's belly?
- What happens during childbirth?
Sound book for iPad
This is a voiced children's book created for the iPad Kinderbook app. In a language accessible to children and in a playful way, the authors describe the technical details of the relationship between a man and a woman, as a result of which children appear.
Informative cartoon where children come from
If you do not want to talk about cabbage and storks, this educational cartoon will tell you about the inner world of a person. Simple and accessible, the child learns how a new life is born, why children are similar to their parents, and even a little about DNA and RNA.
