All of us, adults, understand “intellectually” that a child is a clot of energy, so he seeks to climb everywhere, learn and study everything. Everyone knows about age crises and difficult periods too. However, emotions are a difficult thing, and with all the understanding of what is happening, it is sometimes very difficult for parents to restrain themselves and not be annoyed with the baby. Situations when parents lose their nerves are mostly typical. Let's try to figure out why we break into a child, and how to avoid it.
Accumulated fatigue
Most often, mothers of babies suffer from this. No sooner had my mother come home from the hospital, than the whirlwind of care and care for the baby began to spin: 20 times a day, change the diaper and wash, and feed, and rock, and take a walk, and bathe. The whole habitual life is simply turned upside down. The child does not yet have a regime, so it is simply impossible to plan business and rest. From all this, the mother is in great stress, and a sudden cry or the child's refusal to sleep can be the last straw. The known solution to the problem is rest.
- Use the baby's daytime sleep for your own relaxation, and not for exploits in the kitchen. Even an hour of sleep during the day will help restore strength.
- Drink vitamins and eat right, because even at the physiological level, you must have the strength to cope with stress and fatigue.
- Do not seek to "drag" the whole house on you. Part of the household responsibilities should be delegated to the husband or other helpers.
- At least one night a week, appoint your dad to be "on duty" so that he gets up to the baby. You can sleep well at this time.
- Take time for yourself regularly. You need to devote this time only to yourself: go for a haircut or manicure, do handicrafts, read a book, or just sit at the computer or watch TV. Such activities or rest replenish the parental resource of strength, and the opportunity to allocate time for them always "warms the soul."
Interesting articles on the topic:
- How a young mother can handle her baby and household chores read here;
- How not to go crazy after childbirth - advice to young mothers;
- It's boring to sit at home with a small child: what to do?
- And an article for men: Why are you tired? You are sitting at home (memo to husbands who do not understand all the "charms" of maternity leave);
- How to involve your husband in childcare - https://razvitie-krohi.ru/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/kak-privlech-muzha-k-uhodu-za-rebenkom.html.
"He climbs everywhere"
If the child crawled, it means that he begins a period of active study of space. First, he crawls, grabbing the wires and stuffing everything into his mouth, then he begins to stand up at the support and reach for things on tables and pedestals. The parents' head is spinning, because the child constantly has “forbidden” objects in his hands and mouth, and he also opens the doors of the cupboards, pulls out the drawers of the dresser, tries the cat food ... Mom does not leave the feeling that she should turn away for a second - it will happen An emergency, and it doesn't matter if you are at home or on the street. Instead of being nervous, it is better to adapt the space and yourself to the needs of the child.
- Allocate a "play area" for the baby. To do this, you can spread a blanket on the floor, put toys there and fence off with an impromptu "fence" of pillows. In any case, as a temporary measure, such a playing field will be useful: you can carve out 20 minutes and distract yourself and constant control.
- Make sure that everything that should not fall into the hands of the child is safely hidden from him: the wires can be removed into the cable channels, all fragile, sharp, heavy objects can be raised higher, cabinets and drawers can be fixed with blockers. At this age, the verbal prohibitions "do not climb" and "do not touch" simply do not work (we read about how to correctly tell a child "no"), therefore, it is better not to create reasons for yourself to be irritated and to secure the house for the child (see the article on how to properly secure a home for a child / how to secure a kitchen (how to keep a child busy in the kitchen)).
- When going for a walk, take care of comfortable clothes not only for the baby, but also for yourself. On the playground, mom has to run, and step into the mud (sometimes it happens :)), and bend over many times. For a child, a walk is an opportunity to actively spend time, and a mother will be constantly annoyed because of her uncomfortable clothes. That is why heels and skirts are not the best clothing option for walking with a baby.
"He does everything across"
After 1.5 years, children begin to show their own desires and aspirations. It becomes important for a child at this age to insist on his own, therefore, everything that parents say and want meets resistance and the intention to do the opposite. Such disobedience can manifest itself in absolutely any situation from eating and getting ready for a walk (a categorical “no” to trying to bring a spoon to your mouth, pulling a hat, tantrums when dressing) to a walk on the playground (mom forbids throwing sand, and the baby does it with delight over and over again, or runs away when they tell him not to leave his mother).
- Do not try to influence with a word, because the child does not yet perceive verbal commands. Without yelling and irritation, just do what you need to do: put on a hat, stop the child's hand so that he does not perform an unwanted action, grab and carry away from a dangerous place, hold his hand so that he does not run away.
- If you are going on business (to a store, to the post office, to pay receipts to the bank), put your child in a stroller. This will eliminate the need to constantly monitor his actions and be distracted.
Tantrums
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Closer to the age of three, babies begin to react with hysteria to any restrictions and prohibitions. The magnitude of the reaction can be very different: from short crying to rolling on the floor. This happens because the child does not yet know how to control his emotions, and with prohibitions and refusals, he experiences severe disappointment and anger. Our task is to teach the child to express their emotions in an adequate way.
- Stay calm yourself and don't focus on the tantrum. No matter how it looks from the outside, for a small child such behavior is an age norm.
- Together with orders to calm down immediately, speak out the child's feelings: "I see that you are very angry, you are offended that I did not allow you ..." etc.
- Try to retire: no spectators - no performance. Moreover, some "viewers" like to give their comments about what is happening, and this only inflames the child.
- If you are in a crowded place and do not want to draw attention to yourself, try switching your child to something. In this case, you can carry an interesting toy with you in your bag and use it as a distraction, or turn on your favorite cartoon on your phone, or look around - suddenly something interesting happens nearby (animators in life size puppets are walking, someone is training a dog, etc.). etc.). In general, if the situation permits, it is better to let the baby fully experience his feelings and not block them - only in this way will he learn to understand and manage them.
Interesting:What should a parent not do when a child is unbearable?
Negativism
When the crisis is in full swing for 3 years, the child issues a protest to literally every word of the adult. It seems that the baby has become completely uncontrollable: the interests of the child conflict with the interests of the adult at every step. This is also a normal process, and since in such a situation there really is a conflict of interest, there is no need to try to "break" the child's will and insist on your own in any situation. Our task is to teach the child different ways to resolve conflicts.
- In some situations, you can give in to the child. For example, a child does not want to swim, because he played with his favorite designer, screams and scandals, in no way agreeing to go to the bathroom. You can say: “Well, as an exception, we will cancel swimming today, since you have such an interesting game. But let's just do it today, and tomorrow we will observe the regime again ”... Nothing terrible will happen from one missed bathing, but the child will receive an important experience in defending his interests. Or another option is to tell the child that we will swim first, and then finish playing with your constructor.
- In some situations, it is important to compromise. For example, a child wants to watch cartoons, but you don't want to be late for a visit. Then you need to agree: the child will watch one cartoon instead of three, and then you can leave the house on time.
- In certain situations, you need to stand firm. For example, you can only cross the road with your mother by the handle, in windy weather you can only walk in a hat. Moreover, when you introduce some kind of strict rule, the child must understand that you are doing this out of a desire to take care of him: so that he does not get hit by a car, does not catch a cold, etc. Therefore, you need to pronounce all the rules calmly and confidently, with an explanation of the reasons.
Any situation where the child is angry and annoying can be resolved peacefully. Stock up on patience and advice, and then irritation and discontent will be replaced by constructive communication with the child.
More tips:
- 10 tips to stop yelling at your kids
- 25 tips on how to raise a child in love and peace;
- Top 10 Parenting Mistakes in Parenting.
