Tears and crying are normal, especially for a child. This is a great way to relieve emotional stress when your baby is upset about something, offended, sad, or tired (see the reasons for crying). It is best to give the child plenty of tears without stopping or forbidding tears. However, sometimes long tears are not at all appropriate. For example, if a mother and child are traveling in transport, or are in a crowded place, or in a hurry, and there is no time for the child to cry quietly. In this case, it is better not to allow hysteria and try to "intercept" it at the very beginning. To help mom - little tricks from big tantrums.
See article:Children's tantrum: advice from a psychologist on how to deal with a child's tantrum
Little tricks from big tantrums
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- Think of some serious business for which you will have to wait a little crying. Act according to the situation and improvise, for example: "Oh, the cloud has come, there is no time to cry, you have to run to the street as soon as possible, otherwise the rain will start and we will not take a walk." The special value of this technique is that you do not prevent the baby from crying and do not deny the importance of tears. The child feels that he is understood and accepted, and is ready to give in.
- Try to encourage the child to become conscious during the tears. For example, you can ask your baby to cry quietly so as not to wake up a sleeping lyalech in a stroller nearby. If the child tries to fulfill the condition, then he will not be able to cry for real, he will whimper a little and calm down. And the child is good: he outlined his emotions, and the mother is happy: the hysteria did not take place.
- Sometimes hysteria flares up precisely because the mother herself draws attention to her, so in some cases hysterics can be prevented by simply ignoring. True, it is better to do so in some situations that have become typical. For example, if a baby always scandals about putting on a hat or getting into a stroller, you don't have to wait for a protest, but at the very “moment X” just distract the child with something (ask if you liked a cartoon or a fairy tale, what was the name of a hero, tell rhyme, clarify which toys we take for a walk, etc.). In new and unknown situations, the mother's indifference may not be assessed correctly by the child, because he really may need participation and support.
- If the child refuses to do something, play with him in a merry rush, and to your perky "come on, quickly, quickly, quickly" do what you need: dress the child, take him away from the playground, etc. The kid usually does not have time to understand what is happening, as the deed has already been done and there is no more reason for crying.
- The method of "talking teeth" works well for babies, and it is suitable even when the baby has already begun to scandal. The point of talking is to "bring down" the child's tearful mood with his monologue. It is necessary to speak and speak without ceasing: the baby will definitely listen and calm down. The most important thing is to talk emotionally and about something interesting for the child. For a few minutes it is quite possible to keep the baby's attention, and then the reason for the tears will be forgotten.
- Try to get rid of the bad mood with tickling, pinching, and grimacing. The main thing is not to miss the moment while the tantrum can still be prevented. If the baby is already crying, it is better not to take risks, because these attempts to make laugh, on the contrary, annoy even more.
- A very popular way is to divert the child's attention to something interesting. The butterfly flew by, the dog ran, the plane in the sky - anything can interest the kid. You can direct the baby's attention to his own body and sensations: "It seems your eyelash fell out, guess which eye, and let's remove it so that it doesn't interfere with crying."
- If it was not possible to see a butterfly or a dog, or they were completely a figment of mom's imagination, you can use a real thing that will interest the baby. It would be nice if mom always had an interesting toy or a notebook with felt-tip pens at hand, or a favorite treat that can quickly comfort the child. To make it work for sure, come up with a game: “Oh, who is that beeping and fumbling in my bag? Wow - a kitten "- and hand the toy to the kid.
- Show your child that you understand their feelings. If the baby is about to cry, start saying everything he can feel: “You're upset that we didn't buy you a toy. You are angry with your mom. It's a shame for you: I wanted to play with a new typewriter, but we can't buy it, ”and so on. If the child sees that you understand and share his sadness with him, it will not make sense for him to communicate it through tears.
- Strong emotions can be helped to express not with tears, but with actions. For example, give your child a pillow that you can hit and kick, or a ball, or a toy to bang their boards and hammer. Read 10 games to overcome child aggression.
- Write a funny tear-drying routine. For example, as soon as the child begins to cry, the mother turns on a hairdryer or a fan (preferably a pocket one) and dries the tears (do not use this technique if the child is frightened by the sounds of working household appliances). Or put a beautiful bag (glass) where mom will collect tears, and do not forget to give the task to cry a full glass or bag - trying to complete the task, the baby will be distracted from the cause of the tears.
- You can turn tears into a joke not only with tickling, but also with words. Seeing that the baby is about to cry, feign surprise: “Oh, who is this in front of me? And where is my cheerful and smiling son? Where am I going to look for him now? " The main thing is that the child understands your words correctly and does not get upset even more.
- Drive the child's complaints to the point of absurdity. The kid starts to cry, and you start to assent to him and say: “Oh, you unfortunate child! You don’t have toys at all, they don’t let you walk, they don’t give you food or drink, they don’t give you sweets, they don’t include cartoons ... "Children 3-4 years old are immediately distracted from their tears, sometimes they can enter into an argument, proving to their mother what is wrong it's all bad - and that's what we need.
Further interesting:How to calm down a crying child (31 tips. Part 2). + 5 steps according to Harvey Karp's method
These tricks, depending on the situation and circumstances, can distract the child from tears and save mom's nerves. Only you need to use them really when necessary, and, if possible, let the baby cry in his mother's arms. Yet: what parents should not do when the child is behaving unbearably >>>
Let's see what to do if the child is hysterical. Parents' mistakes:
