Yesterday the house was quiet and calm, but today the child began to be rude and rude to his closest people - his parents. And then the question arises for adults: to answer with severity and repressive methods or continue to educate as before, ignoring his rudeness? Mom and Dad try different tactics, argue, accusing each other of educational mistakes. However, this does not correct the situation. What should parents do if their child is rude?
Childish rudeness is a fairly common problem. The reasons for its occurrence are varied, and yet you are quite capable of re-educating the little cad. The main thing in such a situation is to be patient and try to understand what caused a previously affectionate and obedient child to become an uncouth rude.
Reasons for a child's rudeness
- "A difficult age. Childish rudeness can occur at any age, but is especially acute in the so-called age crises. A three-year-old learns to say "no" or "it's mine!" Only, his desire for an independent life is not always permissible. The peak of rude behavior occurs in adolescence, when the child organizes a rebellion against, in his opinion, excessive custody.
- The need for attention. Conflicts between a teenager and parents - tantrums, disobedience, swearing, demonstrative silence - can signal how much he needs your attention and care. You probably spend a little time with him or do it for the sake of "tick". In this case, the child, throwing the terrible words "I hate you", tries to arouse the parents' interest in their problems.
- Personal example of parents. The child often adopts the model of boorish behavior from his parents. When he sees how adults communicate rudely with each other, swear, then very soon he himself will begin to unceremoniously get into their conversation, be rude not from time to time, but constantly.
- Responsiveness. Children can be impolite for one simple reason - adults do not respect them as individuals. If parents constantly shout at their offspring, raise a hand at him, call him names, he has no choice but to be rude in response.
- Connivance in education. Indulging in a child's whims can be a source of harshness in a child's behavior. He's used to getting whatever he wants after crying and loud roaring. And if children are accustomed to snapping at parental demands already in kindergarten or elementary school, then, becoming teenagers, they will behave even more defiantly. We read how to react to a child's whims.
How to deal with rudeness
- Explain the consequences. Explain that rude behavior affects how society treats a person. To be rude means to lose the good disposition of friends and family. Also, insults from others can leave an imprint on the child's reputation, and if he values a good name, then you should definitely apologize.
The family must also establish specific consequences for disrespecting adults. Regardless of the choice of disciplinary action, you must convey a simple idea: you must answer for rudeness.
- Do not comply with requests made in a rude tone. Just warn your child about this in advance. Let's say your daughter is overbearing (not asking) to buy her a doll. Answer calmly, without losing your composure: “I can, of course, buy a doll, but you speak to me in a strange tone. If people want something good to be done for them, they speak differently. Think, maybe you should ask nicely? "
- Do not respond rudely to rudeness. Wanting to overcome rudeness, you can not raise your voice and shout to shout. Maybe the child is receiving constructive criticism, although he chose not the best way to convey it. Let me know that you can continue talking to him when he calms down and stops being rude to you.
- Learn to say no. Behind the harsh behavior, the child hides a desire to manipulate mom and dad, who fulfill all his whims. Rudeness can become an effective tool in the hands of a little manipulator to achieve a goal. You need to be able to say "no" to your children in time. Give a sincere explanation of the refusal so that they understand: their wishes are respected, but due to some circumstances they cannot fulfill them. See the article on how to tell your child NO
- Set the same rules for all family members. It is necessary to establish certain rules of conduct, and they should apply to all household members. Are you saying that a child should not be rude to parents and raise their voice to them? Then adults also need to learn to control themselves, not to break down at each other and children.
- Pay more attention to your child. Analyze your attitude towards children. Perhaps their rudeness is due to the fact that they are trying to attract parental attention. Try to set aside an extra hour from your schedule to talk to your son or daughter about the day's past, play together, or just sit together. You will probably soon notice that he snapped less.
- Learn to deal with emotions. It may sound strange, but try to teach your preschooler to be angry and offended "correctly" - without harsh words and boorish expressions. It is still difficult for him to cope with his emotions, so he resorts to the easiest, but not constructive way. There are games to overcome child aggression.
- Communicate as equals. Strive to communicate with adolescents on an equal footing, as they are often annoyed by lisping and excessive display of tenderness. They are trying in various ways to prove their own independence and independence. Try to talk to your child like an adult, and he will not be rude to show his importance.
- The child began to swear: why children swear and how to wean them from it
- 8 loyal ways to punish children. How to properly punish a child for disobedience
- Why is the child sneaking?
If you are faced with the rudeness of your own child, then do not rush to despair. This problem can be solved, but you should work not only with the little rude, but also on yourself. When everything is fine in your family, the child has someone to consult and talk to, then he will definitely stop being rude not only to close people, but to everyone else.
