It is great if your child is a good helper who, without a reminder, puts things in order in the room, takes out the garbage, puts away toys, walks the dog. However, not all moms and dads are so lucky. Some parents fight the little "lazy" every day, getting irritated and sometimes crying out. Where does children's laziness come from? How to teach a lazy child to work?
What can be hidden behind a child's laziness
Psychologists assure that laziness in children does not appear from scratch. You can probably see the true reasons for this annoying behavior if you take a close look at your baby.
1. Lack of motivation
Remember with what glowing eyes children are doing what they like. But as soon as adults turn homework into a tedious duty, boring and monotonous chores, the child loses interest, and any activity becomes a burden.
2. Temperament
Psychological characteristics and individual personality traits are what children are born with. A small phlegmatic person is slow, but from the outside it seems that he does not want to do anything. However, it is useless to adjust it, it will work at its own pace. Choleric kids who love to play are sometimes considered lazy, but they find cleaning toys boring.
3. Uncertainty in their own abilities
Sometimes laziness hides the unwillingness to master something new, the fear of failure. If a child is not confident in his own abilities, is shy, psychologically dependent on his parents, he is often afraid of new responsibilities and activities. Even adults do not want to do things in which they feel unsuccessful. However, they justify themselves, and they stick the label of a lazy person on the baby.
4. Overwork
If the daily routine of children is too dense and intense (kindergarten, development center, pool, dance club), laziness appears due to elementary overwork.
In addition, laziness can be a response to deficits in play and physical activity when parents want to raise a child prodigy. In this case, the child's preschool years pass in continuous learning, and his needs for games and constant movements are not satisfied. A banal psychological fatigue arises, which smoothly flows into a reluctance to act.
5. Excessive custody
Sometimes adults themselves teach kids to be lazy, limiting their independence at an early age. “Why are you digging for so long? Let's help", - mothers and grandmothers constantly say and begin to clean up after a tiny toy, feed it, dress it. Of course, the elders do it much faster and more accurately. However, in this way, they develop the child's habit of waiting for other people to do all the work for him.
So, children's laziness does not appear out of nowhere, most often it is formed, nurtured and nourished by parents and other relatives. By creating "greenhouse" conditions that prevent children from making and correcting mistakes, showing initiative, choosing interesting activities, adults thereby educate lazy people. And yet, one should not despair - there is a way out. In a situation with children's laziness, as in solving other pedagogical and psychological problems, prevention is much better than treatment.
How to teach children to work: advice from psychologists
1. Personal example
Kids learn new things by imitating their parents. If the baby from early childhood sees that mom and dad are not happy with household chores, he will copy their behavior, just as dismissively reacting to parental assignments. Therefore, you should not demonstrate dissatisfaction with your work in front of children, otherwise you will not be able to instill in your child a love of work.
2. Encouraging initiative
Do not strive to fulfill all responsibilities for your children, give them the opportunity to enjoy independence. This is especially true for three-four-year-olds who are especially interested in doing the same thing as their parents. Therefore, forget the words "do not bother", "you are still small." If a child wants to wash a plate, water a garden bed in the country, do not bother him. Moreover, he must do the work himself, even if it takes half an hour instead of your five minutes. But the crumbs will have a reason to be proud of themselves.
3. Get creative
Sometimes kids don't have enough inspiration to take action. To convince the kid to put toys in their places, some parents resort to "carrot" (cartoon, delicacy) or threaten with "whip" (punishment). Psychologists believe that this approach kills the desire to work. Instead, they advise turning an uninteresting activity like cleaning into a fun game. For example, collect cars and dolls for a race. Or hide some little "secret" in the middle of the toys and try to find it together.
4. Reasonable criticism
In order not to discourage the child from any desire to work, give up non-constructive criticism. Better figure out why your child does not cope with school lessons, cannot learn a poem for the matinee. Give your baby advice on what to do to make it work the next time. And yet, do not call children lazy and inept, this will not only not accustom them to work, but also lower their self-esteem.
5. Household responsibilities
Try to assign certain assignments to the younger generation, moreover, they should be specific and really necessary, and not invented for educational purposes.
So, children 3-4 years old can:
- clean up toys after themselves;
- help with table setting;
- dust off;
- dress, wash, and brush your teeth.
A child 5-6 years old already knows how:
- clean up your own room;
- fold your clothes back into place;
- take care of your beloved pet;
- make and spread the bed;
- look after a younger brother or sister.
At 7-9 years old, children are capable of:
- vacuuming;
- get ready for school on your own (of course, with mom's control);
- wash up;
- help grandmother in the country;
- prepare sandwiches.
- 6 ways to properly motivate your child
- 9 simple tips to teach your child to help around the house
- How to teach a child to order
Parents' opinions from forums
mashkin29 it seems to me that there are no lazy children…. there are lazy parents не who failed to interest their child, find a dialogue with him, convey the need for what they want from him ... and all this starting from about 6 months of age, and after 3 years it is generally late. how old are you, and since when is he lazy? in what directions?
alenkin92 Children often catch fire quickly and then immediately go out. they do not like to do monotonous, boring, uninteresting work.
Polina Now there are many such children who do not want to do anything. And we, parents, are to blame for this. We do not limit their sitting at the computer, we do not spend enough time with children. And children simply copy their parents ... We should be less lazy ourselves, do everything together with the children. And here is what the psychologist says about modern children and their problems with lack of initiative and laziness.
Household chores and errands should never be punished for bad behavior and misconduct. On the contrary, encourage children to do housework. For example, stay longer at the zoo or go to the movies.
And, of course, do not forget to praise your baby the first time he helps you with something or gets a good grade. Often, it is the praise of the parents that becomes the main incentive for teaching the child to work.
