What if the child smokes? Tips for parents

The problem of smoking increasingly affects the youngest. Disappointing statistics show that the age at which teens start smoking is getting smaller and smaller. For example, girls are increasingly trying their first cigarette by the age of 13. And boys even earlier - by the age of 10. But what about the parents of children who started smoking?

The first cigarette will not feel good. Its taste is unpleasant, but the child's reluctance to be a black sheep among his peers makes him smoke again and again. Psychologists and narcologists have proven that addiction, in other words, nicotine addiction, arises from the fifth cigarette. Needless to say, children can become addicted to cigarettes incredibly quickly. Initially, the child will smoke exclusively “for the company”, without experiencing the pleasure of the smoked cigarette. But the more often he does this, the faster he will develop the need for the psychostimulating effects of nicotine.

Only medical facts!

Before proceeding to the study of the question of how parents should be if a child suddenly began to smoke, it is worth considering in more detail the data on the harm of nicotine for a young body. Only parents should consider that there is no point in telling him stories about the dangers and dangers of smoking. This will in no way contribute to his quitting smoking. Accurate medical statistics and your own example will have a much greater effect.

If we talk about the dangers of smoking from a medical point of view, then primarily nicotine negatively affects the nervous system. It literally drains nerve cells, which leads to a constant feeling of fatigue. The endurance and activity habitual for a healthy organism will soon be replaced by irritability and nervous excitability. Constant nervousness is the smoker's faithful companion;
Smoking sharply worsens the functioning of the organs of perception. Smell, hearing and vision begin to malfunction. Tooth enamel in smokers breaks down much faster. This is due to the fact that when smoking, a person inhales air, the temperature of which is much lower than that of cigarette smoke, and this difference provokes the destruction of tooth enamel;
The memory gradually deteriorates due to smoking, and the development of basic thought processes also deteriorates. Moreover, the more a child begins to smoke, the more chances that his analytical thinking will gradually start to malfunction;
Another body system that suffers from nicotine addiction the most is the respiratory system. Due to the fact that the body is still growing, the respiratory system is unable to process the tobacco smoke entering the lungs. Because of this, part of it literally settles on young lungs. This always complicates the course of colds. Over time, a young smoker, even with a slight load, will begin to change the timbre of his voice, will develop shortness of breath, a constant tearful cough;
The appearance from regular smoking will also begin to suffer: acne and acne, glossy skin. Often these very signs can give out a young cigarette lover. Despite all the harm caused by smoking to the body, children are not particularly literate in this matter. Usually they do not even suspect and do not think that smoking is not just entertainment, fashionable among peers, but a real addiction that over time destroys the young body.

Why do children start smoking?

You should not rush to the extreme, being nervous and punishing the child for starting to smoke. It is best in this case to calm down, not to be nervous and after thinking carefully about why he is still addicted to this habit, start acting. The best option would be to talk in a friendly tone, without yelling and swearing. At the same time, parents can find out why their own child still started smoking. It is much more likely that he himself will tell you about the reason for smoking if you talk to him kindly, without punishing.

So why does a teenager first take up a cigarette? As it turned out, there may be many reasons for this:

The child just wanted to try what cigarettes are;
The parents themselves have become an example for starting smoking;
Friends offered to smoke because it is fashionable;
A cigarette was offered by peers, taking on “weak”, they say, everyone smokes, but what are you, a weakling?
He started smoking to look older and more authoritative in the eyes of his friends;
Sometimes children see their favorite characters in the movies smoking, so they start doing the same;
Favorite stars of show business smoke too;
Bright advertisements and prize draws often encourage teenagers to smoke;
Children are often drawn to everything harmful and forbidden;
Excessive parental control, diktat are forced to take a cigarette in the hands of spite of parents;
Excess free time, boredom and monotony - all this can also push a child to smoke;
Craving for the dangerous and forbidden ...

Despite the described reasons, the personal example of parents will always be one of the primary reasons pushing a child to smoke. There is no point in telling him how harmful smoking is if you yourself smoke with it. Therefore, it is a personal example that can influence the refusal of a cigarette.

Separately, it is worth mentioning such a problem as the inability of a teenager to realize himself in society. If he does not go to any sections and circles, does not do what he is really interested in, then he is left to himself - this will most likely push him to a cigarette.

How do you know if a teenager smokes?

If parents are attentive to their child, then they will easily notice some of the characteristic signs of a smoking child. The smell of cigarette smoke lasts for a very long time on clothes and hair. If a person has recently started smoking, a dry cough will give him away. Over time, the smoker begins to change (turn yellow) the color of the skin of the face and hands, the color of the nails. Likewise, teeth turn yellow. This is especially true for those who smoke cheap cigarettes.

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The psycho-emotional state can also give out the smoker. If for a long time he cannot get away from your observation (smoke), he starts to get nervous. More serious smokers (spice or herb) are characterized by instability of emotional behavior. Such a teenager often rushes from one extreme to another.

Tobacco particles may appear at the bottom of pockets and in smokers' bags. If he is constantly chewing gum, then it is likely that he is “chewing” on the unpleasant smell of cigarettes.

What do parents usually do when they find out that their child smokes?

Some parents, having learned that their beloved child smokes, allow him to do it at home. Sometimes it works, and the teenager drops the addiction. But it may also turn out that he, having cognized permissiveness, will go even further in his actions.
Some moms and dads force their child to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes. So that he experienced an aversion to nicotine at the physiological level. This is not only harmful, but also useless from an educational point of view. It is highly likely that he will continue to smoke “out of spite”.
Swearing, threats of punishment, demands to quit a bad habit, prohibitions to communicate with “bad” guys. Such measures, alas, are rarely effective.

We help to resist the temptation

One of the most effective ways to help your child resist the temptation to start smoking is by example. If you don't smoke, then you can easily set yourself as an example to your teenager.

If you nevertheless began to suspect that your child has started smoking, then try to talk to him in a friendly way about it. Remember that it will be much easier for a teenager to quit the addiction initially. You should not hide your emotions and feelings from him. Let your child know that you are not going to scold him during the conversation, that you are really worried about this news and upset. Explain to him that you cannot remain indifferent to the fact that he is poisoning himself with nicotine, but you will not crush yourself with your authority.

To help your son or daughter resist the temptation to start smoking, try to spend more time with him, be interested in his hobbies and desires. If your child loves to ride a bike or play football, then do it with him.

Give your child more freedom in terms of choosing interests, style of clothing, books and music - then he will not have the need to defend his freedom and protest against the parental "no" with the help of cigarettes. If he is regularly forbidden to do something, then there is a great chance that he will start smoking to spite you, demonstrating his independence.

Uncertain of himself, not wanting to lose credibility in his company, a teenager is unlikely to give up cigarettes so easily. And, nevertheless, try to convey to him that the ability to defend your opinion and your position is an important quality, that this is a sign of a formed personality, you do not need to “be like everyone else” and poison your body to please friends.

So that it’s not too late, start stories about the dangers of smoking when your children are young and for the first time wonder what kind of sticks are in their mouth and why they are. There is no need to dismiss the child with simple “this is cocoa” and “fu”, it is worth explaining to your kids what it is and how harmful it is. Of course, the information must be presented, taking into account the age of the crumbs.

What if the child starts smoking? How can I help my child quit smoking?

Of course, this news will upset you. Moreover, as experience shows, few people in such a situation are able to calmly talk with a child on this topic. More often it is a home scandal with tantrums, threats, slamming doors and giving slaps in the face. Stop: shouting will not help matters. And it is certain that your threats in the style of “once again, and I for you” will not solve the problem. First of all, you need to choose the most appropriate moment for the conversation: when you have already “digested” this news, calm your nerves and will be ready to calmly talk with your child about his smoking, and the child, accordingly, will be ready for a conversation.

Sometimes adolescents do not understand that cigarette indulgence can lead to serious addiction. So that your child understands that this is not a joke - ask him not to smoke for at least a week, and then discuss it together. Let him understand that in reality everything is not so rosy and fun.

Do not think that the way out of this situation is harsh punishment. Many parents do this when they learn that their beloved child has started smoking. However, this can provoke a protest in the child, which will lead to the child starting to do everything in spite of the parents. But then what about the parents who have just found out that the teenager is addicted to cigarettes?

To help your child, make a joint plan for breaking the habit. Your help and support will be needed more than ever. Read all kinds of literature on "How to Quit Smoking", search for it together. Let your child feel you care about him - this will give him another additional incentive to fight.

Talk calmly, frankly, and honestly. Then you can find out what caused the smoking. Knowing the reason will help you quickly find a method of influencing the child, which will help eradicate the addiction;
Do not start an aggressive conversation immediately after news that shocks you. All conversations about smoking should only take place in a friendly environment;
If you smoke yourself, then it is best to start with yourself and say goodbye to the bad habit. If you cannot do this yet, then at least try to remove packs of cigarettes and lighters from the child's field of vision;
After learning that the child has begun to smoke, start looking together for options to get rid of this habit. Don't forget about moral support;
Don't punish him. The best option is to establish a trusting relationship with him;
If a child started smoking because he wanted to seem more mature, then you need to explain to him that it is possible to look like an adult without using a cigarette. You can cite as an example some authoritative person (athlete, musician) who is a role model and who does not smoke;
Tell him about the medical data on how harmful smoking is for an immature child's body (but as said above, there is no point in intimidating a teenager with pictures with black lungs. For him, disrespect of friends is much more terrible. But talk about the dangers of smoking for the vocal cords, skin and teeth, on the contrary, it is necessary, although pictures may have an effect on some especially impressionable children). Support this information with real life examples or literature, films;
If a child started smoking simply “out of nothing to do,” then help him to open up, find new talents in himself, and discover personal qualities that will help him later decide on his favorite pastime. It is likely that some virtues will help a child find credibility among peers. It is much better if he achieves respect among friends and classmates by his achievements, and not by smoking;
Look for new hobbies with your son or daughter that will take up a large amount of his free time, and there will simply be no time for smoking. Ask your teenager what would be interesting for him to do. Maybe he has long dreamed of enrolling in an art school or going to a karate school;
Monitor your child's environment. But don't keep it too strict. By channeling his energy in the right direction (see the previous point), you can get the teenager to be busy with some business, instead of getting involved with incomprehensible companies. Give your child more time to be aware of where and how they are spending their time. It is your busyness that often turns out that the child is left to himself and chooses the “wrong” company;
Raise your child's self-esteem in his own eyes;
Look for reasons specifically for your child. It makes no sense to appeal to the adolescent's conscience and reason with spatial reasoning about hypothetical death from lung cancer, etc. Find “pain points” in your child;
Give your children more freedom to make decisions. Having learned that he started smoking, let him know that he is responsible for his own health;
Try to go around and let him smoke. Pretend that you do not care, this is his life, and he is free to make decisions. With a high degree of probability, he will very soon give up the bad habit that has become available to him. After all, only the forbidden fruit is sweet;
If your child smokes in order to interest the opposite sex? Give him other ways to get attention from the person he likes;
It is very important for the child to have a trusting relationship with the parents. He needs to come to mom and dad in any situation, share his opinion. For the parents, however, it is necessary to become a friend to the child, to whom he can come for advice in any situation. Then you can be sure that when trying to cope with any problem or making a serious decision, the child will always turn to you for help. If he suddenly starts smoking, it will be easier for you to influence him;
Pay attention to the family environment. Family problems often become one of the reasons. The child may feel unnecessary, abandoned, simply dissatisfied with the role that is assigned to him in the family.It is also quite possible that he is trying to draw your attention to himself: remember how the kids behave when they lack this attention - they begin to misbehave;
You can try a radical method and sign up for a psychologist. It is likely that the child will take this decision with hostility, so do it very carefully.

The child smokes 40 cigarettes a day

Ardi Rizal is only two years old, but already now he cannot live a day without smoking 40 cigarettes. The father taught the boy to the bad habit:

Helpful advice for parents

Try to find out why he smokes, what is the reason, what prompted him to try? Do not just get an answer, but invite your child to explain to you why he smokes and whether he really understands how harmful it is for his growing body.
Do not start serious conversations with the words "smoking is harmful to health", "you are not yet mature enough", etc. This will ensure in advance yourself a failure in achieving the result. Build the phrase so that the child understands that he is being put on the same level as an adult.
If you forbid a teenager to smoke, but continue to do it yourself, then it will be difficult for him to understand the logic of your behavior. In this case, actively discuss your smoking experience with your child. Tell him about how you or someone you know quit smoking, how you didn't like the first taste of cigarettes. Focus on the fact that it is quite easy to quit smoking at first, and it is better for the child to do it right now, without postponing "until later", getting used to smoking even more. The whole conversation should be reduced to the fact that adult smokers are still harming their health, because they could not or did not want to do it when it was still easy.
Track your child when he returns home. How does he behave? Does he smell like cigarettes? If you notice an unpleasant smell from clothes, then you can be sure that his environment is smoking. If he smells from the mouth or from his hands, then we can say for sure that the teenager smokes himself. If a child is afraid of being a "black sheep" in a company where they smoke, then try to convince him that this is a delusion. Encourage him to resist temptations and not take up cigarettes in a smoking company.
Try watching documentaries with your child that show the great harm of smoking. The scarier these films are, the better. After watching, be sure to discuss the film, letting the teenager speak.
Teach your child to rest and relax without using cigarettes. Tell him about harmless ways to have fun and relax. Try to accustom him not only to a healthy lifestyle, but also to any kind of sport. After all, athletes do not smoke. At the same time, load your child with activities to the maximum so that he has a minimum of time to engage in addictions.
Never use the child's age as an argument in a smoking ban conversation. If you tell him that he is too small for smoking, he will do everything to spite you. This is one of the most common parenting mistakes.
If, after the conversation, the child made a promise to you to quit smoking on the same day, support him in this endeavor. Check regularly how he is doing.
If a child quits smoking, you should regularly ask if he has returned to this habit again. After all, any experienced smoker will tell you that it is hard not to quit smoking, but to restrain yourself and not return to this habit.
If you are unable to influence the child in such a way that he quit smoking, then do not hesitate to contact a psychologist for help. He will help you by giving advice on how to communicate with your teenager.

Kindness and patience will help you find the right approach to your child who starts smoking. Look for the cause, and only then eliminate the effect. In no case do not hysteria, do not scandal and do not punish the teenager. Only in this case can you succeed in weaning your child from the addiction.

Stories from forums and advice from a psychologist
Irina, 45 years old
Recently I learned that my son started smoking. She was very upset, punished him: she deprived him of his pocket money and put him under house arrest. A month passed, everything had somehow smoothed out, I already thought that from now on he did not smoke. But yesterday I caught him doing it again. Again I had to punish. Now he doesn't speak to me at all. I understand that this is not for long, but I am sure that he will take up his cigarette again. What do i do?
Psychologist's answer: You initially built the wrong line of behavior with your child. Punishment will not give the desired result, after it he will do everything to spite you. You need to talk to your child heart to heart, in a friendly tone without threats of punishment. In such a conversation, he will tell you why he picked up a cigarette. Together, you can also come up with ways to break this addiction.
Elena, 38 years old
My daughter smokes. Why she decided to do this I don't know. I haven’t talked to her on this topic yet, as I found out recently. I'm afraid that I myself could become an example for her, since I myself smoke. How should I behave during further conversation with her?
Psychologist's answer: Of course, you yourself set a bad example for your daughter. There is no point in telling her about the dangers of smoking if you yourself smoke like a steam locomotive. After all, you are the main example for her. Therefore, quit smoking yourself, demonstrate to her that it is not that difficult. You can start leading a healthy lifestyle together.
Vika:
I started smoking at 14-15 years old. For fun. Mothers of smoking girlfriends caught, frightened, scolded, did not give money. Of course, the guys could always shoot. They called in, ventilated so as not to stink, nagged as best they could, but smoked! Surprisingly, my mother somehow calmly reacted, did not scold, did not frighten, simply said, if you want to smoke, smoke, do not dive. I lost interest. And the girlfriends whom their mothers chased for cigarettes never stopped smoking and are still hiding from their mothers, although they are already over 30.
Elena:
We have living examples of the harmfulness of smoking. Grandparents on both sides smoked and died of lung cancer. The doctors told them so openly - because of the cigarettes. There is nothing to invent here. Now the grandfather's brother - also a smoker - is coughing so that it seems that his lungs are about to fly out. I told my son that if I find out that he smokes, I will stop investing in him both moral, physical and material costs. Because smoking is the road to self-destruction. And I'm not going to develop a personality that has "hammered" on itself.
Svetlana:
We don't smoke ourselves. Friends, our guests, for the most part too. We will unobtrusively try to instill the opinion that smoking is a bad form. We will give it to sports if there is a desire. In this way, other values are also instilled. We will definitely not threaten, shout, check our pockets, etc. Will light a cigarette, then - such a choice. I would not like to introduce elaborations and prohibitions, and it is useless. I will try to ignore this habit.
Zhenya:
Personal example, alas, does not always work either. Nonsmoking parents are good, but there are a lot of other people around who smoke and it is also impossible to say that smokers are bad. After all, there are good people among your acquaintances, but smokers ... Plus, peers can smoke and, as they say, he can also start for a company, but does a child admit that his friends are bad ....
Marina:
I remember when my mother caught me, she calmly lit a cigarette, gave it to me, and with the words: "Well, since you are so grown up, let's sit, smoke, talk" .... I don’t know why, but then I was sooooooo ashamed and I cried and said that I would not be anymore ... Perhaps because I’m a girl, if boys smoke, they are more restrained, it seems to me.
Shahinya:
Of course, you can even beat a child, show a movie, or go to a story museum, but there is one rule - if you want to get the result, find out the reason. If you have a close relationship with a child - on occasion, not on purpose, talk to him about his friends, about girls, what they do, how they spend their time. Does he enjoy authority in his environment? Get him out of the shell with stories about yourself, about your growing up. If the child “opens up,” open up too. Tell us about how you felt at his age, as well as how you were worried when you realized that he smokes.
Verbena:
I smoke myself since I was 12 years old. Mom tried to talk - it did not help, but if she began to prohibit, yell, close houses - it would be worse, she would still smoke. From the age of 14 I have already smoked openly at home, and this is better than diving in the porches and seizing with toothpaste. Of course, smoking is bad, but if after 9-10 years I find that my daughter smokes, I will try to intimidate with words, films, pictures. Do not be scared - let him smoke normal cigarettes and not in the alley.
Shell-well:
I couldn't influence my son in any way. Scold - did not scold. But she kept up constant conversations. Reactions - zero. It was saved that he met a girl, and she is categorically against smoking. Thank her very much. He no longer smokes, but only thanks to the influence of his girlfriend. Alas, I was powerless.
Not long ago I found out that my 12-year-old child smokes what should I do?
- a strange question, to force to eat this cigarette !! and then talk ... that if he starts smoking he will no longer be able to stop !!!
- it does not work with everyone, when my friend's older brother started smoking, which his mother just didn’t do with him ... she forced her to eat cigarettes, smoke 2 packs with her and eat garlic with her (an extremely nasty taste), and beat, etc. in the end, he did not quit smoking, but also acquired other bad habits (alcohol and drug), in short, it is better either to a psychologist or under strict control
- do you smoke yourself or dad? My eldest also lit a cigarette, first at 9, then at 12. It was important for her to gain authority in the new team and she was afraid to be different from everyone else. And for this you need character. It's easier to succumb and become one of them all. I didn't get hysterical, but I threw away the cigarettes. Explaining to her on the behavior of her younger brother how stupid the children act without looking into their future. Well, then the conversations with my dad helped VERY much. I don't want to offend anyone, but my husband (by the way, the first one too! 0 are sure that it is pleasant to “spend time” with smokers, but not to marry! her friends have this dependence solely on complexes and the fear of “not getting to know” the MCh. I didn’t have that. They met through me, a non-smoker. Katya Heard her father! And indeed there are a lot of guys around her and the guys are very good and there are smokers and Now MCH is not a smoker (for 2 years already), because he HAD to part with the previous one, he started kissing her, and she vomited
- Talk to the child and find out what "prompted". And if a child insists on smoking, then in a harsh form to offer to go in for sports to “compensate” for the damage to health. He probably won't be able to combine smoking and sports. I have acquaintances who in the army, contrary to popular belief, quit smoking, tk. for a cross in 3 km "breathing apparatus" was not enough)))
- A friend's child started smoking at the age of 7-8. Here's what she did: she agreed with the doctor to play along with her. They come to the appointment, the doctor listens to the child with a phonedoscope (is that what they call it?) And asks YOU KURISH ?, he usually says no, and she tells him - well, how can I hear, etc. In the promise they intimidated the child, no longer smoked. But will it help at 12 years old ?? An adult already.