What to do with naughty children? Punish? Discuss their behavior with them? Deprive sweets? Here are some simple rules for dealing with a naughty child.
How to communicate with a naughty child: raising an independent personality
Articles about what to do if the child does not obey are published in many books, newspapers, on thematic Internet portals. Also, many mothers share their experience with each other, because it is very interesting to watch how the child grows, develops and forms as a person. Mommies who know each other personally, first of all, discuss their children, getting together over a cup of tea. And strangers - communicate on the Internet on forums and social networks.
Disobedience of the baby raises many questions in the minds of young mothers. And the most important of them is what to do with it and whether it is necessary to do something at all.
Some of the checklists describe the basic rules for mothers on how to behave with a child of a certain age. For example, at the age of 1.5 years, the child already begins to show independence. He can be stubborn, not listening to what you tell him, and sometimes even become aggressive. In such reminders for young mothers, they are advised to give their child more independence. Let him explore everything around him, learn from his own mistakes, and most importantly, constantly remind him of how much you love him. For older children, other recommendations are given.
Many parents have disputes about parenting. Men can reproach women for being too soft, and women for men for being too harsh. The main thing in these cases is to find a compromise and in no case to quarrel, not to sort out your relationship in a couple and not to raise your voice at each other with a child.
The story of one naughty child: possible strategies for behavior when the baby does not listen to you
Maxim is a very naughty child. At 1.5 years old, he is showing independence with might and main: he does what he pleases, goes where he wants and tries to force everyone to indulge his whims. And he would be even more naughty, but he just doesn't always succeed 🙂
Maxim's parents give him enough freedom, but if they see that the child ceases to obey, they become quite firm in their upbringing methods. They do not indulge him too much, they are firm and persistent, consistent (if this is not possible, then it is impossible, period), while giving him more independence and giving him the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Maxim has not yet had a “three-year crisis”, when children become simply uncontrollable. But his parents have already made it easier for themselves the task - when this period comes, it will be easier for them to cope with Maxim, because their method of upbringing allows the boy to be independent, but at the same time Maxim's parents do not allow him to go beyond the permissible limits of behavior. Let's look at a few specific stories.
- Maxim likes to draw with markers, and once he painted the walls, wallpaper and a sofa. Therefore, markers are no longer given to Maxim. He asks for them, but they don't give him anyway - he has not yet learned how to handle them. Instead, he was presented with special finger paints, which he now draws in albums with his parents. And he will receive markers when he learns to draw on paper or in sketchbooks and understands that it is impossible to spoil the furniture.
- Maxim is very fond of cars. And not only toys - real ones are much more interesting to him. To get a closer look at them, Maxim wants to run out onto the road, which is very dangerous. But Maxim's parents strictly forbid him to do this, hold him by the hand and do not let him close to the road, even if he screams, cries and struggles.
- Any prohibitions and permissions must be logical and consistent. For example, Maxim loves to run in puddles. He can do this, because Maxim has rubber boots. But you can't climb into a puddle with your hands - it's dirty.
- Maxim is very independent. He knows how to assemble a constructor, eat with a spoon and brush his teeth. And he himself falls asleep in the crib - Maxim does not need to be rocked. Maxim also helps around the house: he wipes off the dust, sits down on the potty himself and asks (read the article on the topic: how to potty train your baby) to remove its contents and even tries to wash the floors. And all because Maxim is not prevented from conducting his research experiments and experiments (how to teach and accustom a child to help around the house). Of course, within reasonable limits. And also Maxim's parents believe that he should be able to serve himself, so it is not customary in their family to do absolutely everything for the child. Of course, he will have to clean up, wash, wash after him, but gradually he will learn these skills, and the forces of Maxim's parents will pay off with interest.
- Maxim is given the opportunity to learn from his mistakes. He can climb on the sofa as much as he wants, try to stand on a chair in order to get something from the shelf, but if he falls or gets stuck somewhere, only he will be to blame. Nobody shouts to him all the time: “Don't touch!”, “Move away,” “Wet your pants!”. Maxim makes decisions himself. It is important that Maxim understands: you need to stand on the chair carefully, and you do not need to climb where you can barely get through. He will understand what not to do and will act wisely. This is how Maxim learns from his mistakes, and at the same time learns the world. Of course, he will only be allowed to do what poses the least danger. For example, no one will let him near an open well - here Maxim's parents have to show firmness and pacify the child's curiosity, which can be dangerous.
How to raise naughty children: advice from psychologists
The first thing to do is to reconsider your attitude towards the child. If the child does not obey - maybe he is dependent on you, but not completely, so he tries to show independence to the maximum? Remember that your child is a person with his own character, attitudes and habits. And you must respect this person, and not suppress the independence of your child. You should be aware that the baby learns the world - respect his aspirations for new discoveries.
You may be surprised, but you do not always know 100% what your child needs. Do not pass off your own desires for him - it is better to enter into a dialogue with him and hear the real desires of the baby. Due to the lack of such flexibility in communicating with the child and the excessive confidence of adults in their rightness, conflicts between generations often arise.
Another effective way to interact is by example. Remember - the child is copying your behavior. He does not lose sight of your words, actions, general style of behavior, copying them consciously or unconsciously. So watch yourself - maybe you just recognize yourself in your child, and sometimes not from the best side.
If you want to get a strong personality in the future, a real helper and a hardworking, honest and decent person, you will have to show patience and restrain yourself a thousand times, not breaking down with cries of crumbs because of his disobedience. You will have to explain, tell and show the same thing many times in terms of acceptable behavior, if he does not understand or forgets, trust important matters at your own peril and risk. You also need to learn to respect your child and communicate with him as a senior companion. Your patience and work will then certainly bear fruit: the child will have a sincere desire to help you, and the constant fear that he will be scolded will disappear if he does something wrong.
