Pros and cons of a large family

I'm already used to the fact that there are many children in my family. Sometimes everyone looks at us with open surprise, because in today's complex pace of life it is difficult to combine material, social and psychological well-being. My husband and I have five children. And many people wonder how we cope with problems. But in our situation there are pluses as well as minuses. Let's start with the cons.

Are these disadvantages?

Food can just run out instantly, especially vegetables and fruits. The husband is still surprised at how quickly it all ended. I remember the story of the mother of 9 children that 20 kg of oranges ran out in a day.
It is not always possible to please everyone. With one child, it is much easier to find a compromise or change his mood. But with five children you have to be patient. It happens that the daughter is unhappy with something, and the next day one of the sons shows his character.
My husband and I have to improve. Or engage in harsh self-education. Children quickly follow our example. And if we make a mistake somewhere, they immediately perceive it as a normal line of behavior. It would be convenient to shift all the care of the child to the spouse, but when there are five of them, you have to share responsibilities.
I feel constantly loaded, like I’m missing. It will not work to hug and caress all five at the same time, hands are not enough. While you are dealing with one child, the other already has time to break something, fall or quarrel.
Time for me is now the most precious gift. Its boundaries are clearly marked, and you cannot allocate even 30 minutes a day for relaxation and pleasure. Household chores, constant fuss and attention to children take up a lot of time. I used to have the opportunity to sleep during the day. I realized that now it is impossible. When you have one child and he is sleeping, this is your time. And when there are three of them, and one is sleeping, but two are not? Or two are sleeping and one is not? Whose time is it then?
Every child wants personal attention for himself. It can be difficult, but a child does not need much such attention - to draw a little together, to pick up Lego, to cuddle.
I have no time for bliss in bed in the morning, laziness and depression. Sometimes I watch foreign or Russian films, where some women allow themselves to stay in bed until 10 am. Oh, this is a luxury for me. It happens that already from six in the morning our small kindergarten can be settled in bed with my husband and noisily wake up for breakfast.
It is difficult to perceive children's screams, noise and quarrels. But they are inevitable in any family. I have not yet seen sisters or brothers who did not share even the most inconspicuous trifle among themselves. When our boys begin to sort things out, it becomes difficult.
The difference in tastes in food seems like an inconspicuous point, but when you come across it all the time, it gets boring. Today I cook semolina porridge - a 7-liter saucepan. And suddenly, two or three of my children categorically refuse it. How to be here? You have to find all sorts of options so that the porridge is eaten and the children are fed.
In a large family, everything is collective. And if one child leaves his slippers on the doorstep, then they will definitely be dressed by another child. Whoever has time, that and slippers.
My husband and I are in constant turmoil and noise. It gets good at night when silence comes. But it may not last long. One can go to the toilet, the other can drink some water, and the third child suddenly had a nightmare.
A separate topic is the number of things in our house. They are everywhere. And when a rare event occurs - a trip, you have to collect a colossal amount of things. You try to take everything to a minimum, but everything does not fit into one suitcase. And since there are more things, then it is more difficult with order, and with washing, and with laying out in places.
I can't even imagine going to expensive resorts. Yes, we find the opportunity to visit the tourist centers, but the cost of tickets is more expensive. And they are not always allowed to settle in a hotel in a regular room. To do this, we buy two rooms or one large one, we need large cars for rent, and so on.
Separately, I would like to say about spending. This applies not only to recreation, but also to the home environment. Allocation of the budget is almost impossible, so if there is an opportunity to purchase something, we do it right away. Otherwise, money quickly flows away like water.
I have practically no time for a husband. We are still so young, but constant worries do not allow us to be alone. Sometimes you want to put on a beautiful dress, go to the cinema or a regular cafe together. But everything is limited to a common home cinema with our kids. No, there are times when we have time for ourselves, but it already becomes unusual. One joke of a father with many children is known that the more children there are in the house, the less opportunity for new ones to appear :).
Sometimes I get lost in my behavior. I understand that I used one tactic for raising a child, but it no longer works for the rest of my little family members. You have to find a special approach in any of the situations. Sometimes include humor, severity, or improvise. There is no single upbringing system in a large family!
In a large family, they don't click their beak. If you yawn for a long time and think whether you want to eat an apple, then you will definitely not get it. This is a disadvantage for children who think for a long time.
Sometimes my husband and I feel like a service staff. All day long I iron, wash, clean, cook. Fortunately, modern household appliances help out. I cannot imagine myself in the Middle Ages with five children, when there was simply no electricity. The spouse gets not only the upbringing of children, but also the male household chores, which I cannot do. Even if someone comes to help from relatives, the load does not decrease. Here you are already trying to cover other cases that you postponed for another day.
Visiting for us is a kind of difficulty. Going to someone with five children is problematic. And even there you will not drink tea calmly, you need to keep an eye on everyone.
Household items and clothing wear out faster than in ordinary families. Children constantly hit something or accidentally break something. We try to accustom them to thrift and order. We also shift this responsibility to the eldest son, who helps us keep track of the kids' tricks.

All of the above material and educational items can plunge ordinary families into a slight shock. It is these problems that cause people to fear about the birth of a large number of children. But I want to present to the attention of other parents the many advantages of my family from a psychological, not material point of view.

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Pros

Fun. I don't have to get bored. One sings, the other dances, the third helps in the kitchen. A large number of beloved children make the world brighter and more festive.
Personal growth. I have to constantly improve. And dad too. We are getting better and more tolerant. Gradually there is a realization of oneself as a person. In many ways, two is easier than one, and three is easier than two. They are distracted by each other, play, build relationships with each other.
Children do not always jerk away from household chores or distract over trifles. Mostly they are busy playing with each other or a common cause. It's nice to see how your close-knit team is trying to build relationships with each other and mutually help each other out.
An older child is a great help. It is enough to teach him something, as the entire younger contingent takes an example from him and imitates him. This is how collective learning takes place. Therefore, many say that it is enough to educate one, and then put it on stream. Sometimes it is enough to teach one thing - and he will teach the rest.
You can be endlessly touched, looking at your dear children. How they hug, kiss, cherish their own blood. Their care for each other eradicates callousness and greed. When they are dressed alike, when they share with each other and care for each other. This is the main difference between a large family and those with one child.
Family photos and videos are a treasured gift. Together we make plans, go on a trip, arrange celebrations in our large close-knit company.
True awareness of life is revealed only after the birth of several babies. And it is strange that families with three children are already ranked among large families. Many argue that three children in a family is the norm.
Each child is unique in its character. You are constantly surprised, like a brother and sister, but they are different in their views. And in a large family there is a chance to see this in practice, when the same parents have several completely different children. In addition, in a large family, parents will not put their ambitions first or fulfill their dreams at the expense of their children.
A social upheaval takes place within a large family, which helps the child to become better spiritually and physically. He learns to reconcile, share, express his feelings and realize himself. This is important for further stay in the school or work team. Adapting to change and the environment is easier. Real socialization. From which you can't hide, you can't pretend to be someone.
There is no need for a kindergarten. And many grandmothers complain that the attention and attitude to the child in some preschool institutions is not the same as in the old days. And you can teach children the basics for school at home. The older child also helps with this.
You can always hug someone. It's just to show your feelings, affection and love.
Mom will have to deal with herself and her internal development - otherwise she will not survive. She will have to find a hobby and change her attitude towards herself.
In some situations, you have to use humor. It is impossible without it, therefore in our family they try to look at complex things easier.
My own efficiency increases several times, and in a shorter period of time I can do more things. But with the birth of my first child, I practically did not have enough time for anything. The best time management teacher is children.
A large family is a huge moral work. Such qualities as humility, patience, understanding and surrender of oneself to another person are developed. In such families, children after marriage are already ready for an independent life, they know how to deal with their own kids. What kind of education to apply, how to play or court.
When parents finish their life path, children will always have support from brothers or sisters. And true friendship will last a lifetime.
You can learn a lot of new things, because every child has his own development and tastes. You can learn to draw, glue planes or assemble a constructor.
Finally, parents have to delegate responsibilities - one or two children can be fully serviced independently. But when there are three or four of them, you have to look for other solutions to the problem.
I observe that mothers with many children have an irresistible inner and outer beauty. They are versatile personalities.
Raising multiple children isn't much more expensive. The management is gradually changing. The younger get things from the older ones. There is no need for unnecessary things.
There is room for the development of new ideas and talents. You can become the leader of the masses, gather your own theater or sports team.
A large family also requires a lot of space, so you can move out of town to nature. You can take care of the garden and housekeeping, which also teaches responsibility.
Parents with a large number of children are already a full-fledged cell. Not just a couple, but a union that shares difficulties and joy among themselves. The cost of such a relationship is very high.
Faith in God is growing. You start to believe that someone is protecting the children and you. Otherwise it is impossible, you can go crazy because you cannot be everywhere at once.
The more children, the more joy, positive thoughts and enthusiasm. And every child manages to participate in this 100%.
With the advent of each subsequent child, the world opens in a different light and from other sides. This is a unique phenomenon that helps you gain value.
It is amazing to see in their eyes the continuation of their beloved husband. Each time is different. This is probably the most amazing feeling - to give birth to a piece of a loved one.
When a mother is busy with an important matter - that is, raising children, she leaves her energy there. While the child is small, he needs one hundred percent, and a lot of energy is spent, she has no time to do nonsense. But as soon as he grows up, mom gradually begins to endure dad's brain. Because she has a surplus of energy. It would be possible to use it for work, but then it will spend everything there. But it is better for her to give birth to someone again - and throw out her strength there.
In a large family, children do not suffer from overprotection, parents have no time to control them, to monitor them totally. There is more freedom and independence in their life.
A powerful charge of positiveness and happiness emanates from small children, so there is a lot of it in a large family.
After the birth of several children, parents become much closer and dearer to each other. Their relationship is of great value. The more children there are, the stronger the spiritual closeness and love.
A large family is characterized by great worries, great noise, intensified laughter and tears. But there are doubly more reasons for love and joy in it. Now there are very few large families and this is frustrating. It is desirable that these statistics change!

Pros and cons ... And children grow up, grow up, and at home it becomes quieter and quieter ... And you are already so used to noise and children's laughter. Children are like a drug. It's good when they are, when there are a lot of them. And as one man once said, there should always be a small child in the house, as long as possible. I agree with him.

A big family means more worries, more noise, more laughter and tears, more love and reasons for joy. Once upon a time all families were like that. Now they are in the minority. Very sorry. Let's change these statistics?
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