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How to behave as parents when children quarrel: 5 practical tips

Reality shows are often shown on TV, in which conflicts regularly arise between the participants. The audience discusses them, wondering how you can constantly swear and shout. They fail to notice that this is becoming the norm in their own families. Adults and children quarrel with each other over trifles, brothers and sisters are at enmity, although they should live peacefully. Instead of washing the bones of people on the other side of the screen, parents should take the TV show as an example of how it shouldn't be. It is important to teach children to listen to others and sort things out calmly. Otherwise, they will grow up and can no longer do without screaming.

Tip # 1: Show how to resolve conflicts by example

Each the child repeats the behavior of adults with whom he has developed a close relationship. If he sees quarrels between mom and dad, grandparents, it becomes normal for him. He begins to sort things out in the same way with his brothers and sisters, friends in kindergarten, at school. Subsequently, the same model of behavior applies to colleagues at work and "second halves".

To prevent children from being at enmity, adults need to begin to control the situation and show how to behave, by example. Having a problem? Discuss it, try to find a compromise. Have a fight? Explain what you are offended, what hurt you. These conflict resolution methods are suitable for children, so they should be aware of it.

Tip number 2: Help children become independent

When adults see children starting to quarrel, many of them tend to intervene right away. Parents abruptly stop the conflict and insist on their decision, not allowing the children to answer. Other mums and dads prefer to let the situation go by itself. Still others run to figure out who is to blame. Child psychologists believe that all of these approaches are fundamentally wrong.

In order for kids to grow up as non-conflict and balanced people, from an early age they must learn to cope with controversial situations on their own, without shouting and using fists. Any mother wants to immediately stop a child's quarrel and it can be difficult to restrain this impulse. Of course, she is an adult and can offer a sensible solution. However, if the mother constantly intervenes in the conflicts of the children, they will always wait for her help in the future.

The best solution is to step back and just wait. The children will still come running to their mother with complaints about each other. Only this will already be their personal initiative.

According to experts, in children's quarrels, an adult is assigned the role of a coach. He is outside the ring, but from there he offers reasonable solutions, gives advice, helps to realize the possible consequences of the conflict.

Council number 3: Calm down first, sort it out later

A rare family manages to avoid domestic conflicts. Even an adult who knows how to control his reactions can get mad at a mere trifle - an open tube of toothpaste, an unwashed mug. Children will all the more continue to compete for parental attention, for the opportunity to play with some kind of toy.

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It is necessary to understand and accept that domestic showdowns have been, are and will be. The best thing to do when you have an argument with loved ones is not to let irritation get the better of your mind. If you feel like you might get lost, step aside and count to 10. This is usually enough to calm you down. After that, you can continue an adequate and constructive conversation. Toddlers will see adults making an effort not to offend each other and will follow suit.

It is possible to create a “corner of peace” at home where children and adults go to cope with the outburst of anger. This will help you create a calm and welcoming environment in your home in which children should grow up.

Tip # 4: Take Care of Children's Feelings

Each child has his own fears, experiences, reactions to certain things and events. They may seem insignificant to adults, but babies see the world in a completely different way, and this must be taken into account. Children have the right to express their emotions, to show disagreement. Whether they are right or wrong is another matter that needs to be dealt with.

Parents should pay attention to the feelings of children, teach kids to name them correctly. For this role-playing game is suitable. Invite your child to imagine themselves as a fairytale hero who was deceived and talk about their experiences. This is how the baby learns to empathize with other people. If the child understands that by taking toys from brothers or sisters, he offends them, there will be less quarrels.

A teenager who develops subtle social skills from an early age adapts more easily to life in society. At the same time, he gains self-confidence as he learns to deal with difficult situations without assistance.

Tip # 5: Teach Children to Quarrel and Make Up Honestly

In the company of parents, brothers and sisters, and grandparents, young children usually do not stand on ceremony. They express all their grievances and discontent sharply: they shout, demand, stamp their feet. During an argument or violent expression of emotion, ask your child how he would behave with friends or a kindergarten teacher. Probably with them the baby would be more restrained. You need to talk with a baby gently, keeping a cool head. If you start to lose your temper and raise your voice, it will be difficult for the child to understand what is wanted from him.

Even small conflicts should not be ignored by adults. After all, it will be very difficult to get rid of children's grievances later. If someone close inadvertently injured the baby, it is enough just to apologize to him. An adult should be the first to admit that he has lost his self-control, said something wrong, and also explain what words needed to be chosen. This will help the little person figure out how to avoid an argument.

What to do if children quarrel?

Constant fights between children will not make the atmosphere at home pleasant. What should parents do if they notice that their children are not getting along? Where are the reasons for this phenomenon? How to properly resolve conflicts between children?

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