I know firsthand how difficult it is to persuade dad to sit with the baby for at least half an hour. However, I managed to establish contact between the husband and the child, although it took time. Now I am ready to share my experience and give advice to new parents.
Men are often afraid to even take a baby in their arms. The very idea that they will have to be left alone with the child causes them real panic and protest. Therefore, when mom needs to leave, dad is ready to invent any excuse for her to stay at home. What should a woman do in such a situation? Hope dad suddenly magically learns how to handle a baby? Or wait until the child grows up, abandoning all activities, hobbies and entertainment? The most difficult thing is to persuade a dad to stay with the baby if the baby is only a few weeks or months old, especially if he is breastfed. Nevertheless, experts believe that being a dad with a child one-on-one is very beneficial for both dad and baby. That is why the establishment of contact between the father and the child should not be allowed to take its course from the very first days of the baby's life. If the dad is afraid of staying with the child, you need to help him a little.
I know firsthand how difficult it is to persuade dad to sit with the baby for at least half an hour. Now I am ready to share my experience and give advice to new parents.
1. We get used gradually
Dad is really afraid to be alone with the baby. Especially if he became a father for the first time and had never nursed a newborn before. Therefore, I advise you to act gradually so that the newly-made father gets used to the little one.
Start leaving your baby with your dad without leaving your home. Just leave your dad to look after the child and go about your business in another room or kitchen. Let the father first be alone with the baby for at least 10-15 minutes, then a little longer. When dad begins to cope with his son or daughter on his own for a whole hour, you can go about your business.
2. No criticism
It's difficult, but try to avoid criticizing your dad. Yes, at first he will be clumsy with the baby, but you also did not immediately know how to swaddle, make a mixture, prepare a bath. Help the man to learn these things too, encourage him for his efforts.
When the baby cries, give Dad a chance to calm him down first. He may already be able to handle this situation without your help.
3. Always in touch
Leaving home, assure your husband that he will be able to call you at any second and ask something about the baby. This will give him confidence that he can handle it. If you are traveling to an important meeting or other event where you are too busy, leave your husband the phone number of your mom or a friend who also has children and who can help.
4. A well-fed child is a happy child
Before leaving, be sure to feed your baby and make sure he is happy and well. For a start, it is a good idea to guess so that your absence coincides with the baby's sleep time. Dad will get a positive experience of communication with the child, will become more confident in his abilities. Therefore, next time he is more willing to agree to sit with the little one and, perhaps, even himself will be able to feed and change his clothes.
5. Organization of leisure
Think ahead of time about what dad and baby will do while you are away. Prepare toys, place extra clothing in a prominent place, express milk, or mix.
If it's not the first time dad stays with the baby, it's time to teach him how to prepare the mixture on his own. After all, you can stay, and the child will have to feed something.
6. Baby crying is normal.
Explain to your dad once and for all that you shouldn't be afraid of baby crying. This is just his way of communicating, because the little one cannot yet speak.
Each mother, by the crying of a baby, can determine whether he wants to eat or asks to change his diaper (how to understand the reasons for a crying of a newborn baby). Dad can learn it too. More often ask your husband to determine what the baby needs. Gradually, he will gain experience and will begin to distinguish all the shades of children's crying no worse than you. The most advanced dads are able to distinguish by the sound of crying what exactly the baby needs at the moment, but this knowledge comes only with experience. Arrange your daddy "workouts"
7. Calm, only calm
Of course, it is always exciting for mom to leave her child, even for a short time. However, you should stop worrying about leaving baby with dad. If you are calm and positive, your mood will pass on to your husband and child.
Returning home, do not forget to praise your spouse, even if the house is a mess, and the baby seems to you not well enough. Feeling that he is doing a great job, dad will stop dodging caring for his child.
When mom is not at home. When the father is alone with the child 🙂
