Modern mothers, tired of everyday life and routine, often try to relax using the Internet. Women are sure that the best rest is a change of activity, so it is even useful for them to chat a little on social networks after a long walk with a child. After all, kids are often capricious and indulge, which tests the parents' nerves for strength. However, psychologists explain that if you are looking for a way to relax and switch to another activity, then the Internet is not the best choice.
"Rest is a change of activity!" - sighs a young mother, going to "unwind" in the network for "a couple of minutes" after a two-hour walk with the children. But for some reason, trying to use the Internet as a means to "take a break" and "switch" works very badly. At least not as expected.
Network "walks" as a way to relax
The mother of a small child often has days similar to each other. Collecting toys scattered throughout the apartment, cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing, taking care of the baby - he needs to be fed, changed, bathed, taken for a walk. Household chores take a lot of time. However, many mothers say that they can cope with them completely, because a vacuum cleaner, a washing machine, a multicooker and other useful appliances do the main work for them.
Truly women are often tired of ordinary communication. This is especially true for families with several children who are fighting for the mother's attention and turn to her at the same time. Many will want to exclaim: "I never get tired of my child, it should not be so!" In reality, they are disingenuous. Communicating with children, a woman shares her emotions with them, makes efforts to remain calm in the face of whims and screams. Therefore, there is nothing surprising in the fact that one day there comes a temporary breakdown.
The desire to be in silence and the feeling of guilt
Children are very curious. They literally bombard mom with endless questions: “Why is the grass green? Where did I come from? What is a tornado, tsunami, stars? " In addition, the kids complain about each other, beg for sweets and toys, refuse to eat soup, brush their teeth, or go to bed.
Mom constantly has to listen to the child, come up with answers to all his "why", persuade, explain that this is not worth doing. And you also need to read the same favorite fairy tales of the kid many times. As a result, the woman has only one desire - at least a couple of minutes to enjoy peace and quiet in order to restore energy.
When there is a free minute, mom sits down at the computer and goes online. One could take an interesting book, but the woman decides to postpone it for the evening, because there is no strength to delve into the intricacies of the plot. Now you just want to chat with other people, forget about household chores.
However, after a while, you have to leave virtual reality and return to your children. Mom first enters their room, where unpleasant surprises await her. It turns out that without the supervision of adults, the kids managed to paint the wallpaper, cut their bangs, tear the book of fairy tales and break the toy car. Of course, the woman begins to feel guilty about the pogrom - she herself left the children alone. At the same time, the kids come flying at her with a lot of new questions and requests. Mom realizes that she does not feel rested. However, she has to quickly join her normal rhythm.
The problem is that the internet is a powerful communication simulator. We are talking about those sites that people use to simply distract themselves from problems and everyday worries. On forums, social networks and online messengers, the same conversations with people are conducted, only in the form of printed messages. The vocal cords, of course, are resting, but the brain is working, and in an enhanced mode:
- there are simultaneous dialogues on the network with several interlocutors (sometimes there are dozens of them), and you have to distribute your attention to everyone;
- mothers actively share their problems with each other on the Internet, which does not allow switching from childcare to something else;
- “Kilometer-long” posts of moms on various forums cause participation and empathy, and this does not contribute to relaxation.
There is a certain paradox: a woman goes online to relax and switch, but in the end she only gets even more tired. And the kids, left to themselves, play pranks at this time.
Emotional burnout
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After dialogues with several dozen virtual interlocutors, even the most open and sociable person will feel empty by the evening. This is especially true for conversations that are accompanied by emotional involvement. They demand maximum input.
In general, emotions are almost always involved in online communication, although the interlocutors do not even see or hear each other. Otherwise, there would be no point in reading long posts and typing detailed responses to comments. A person will spend time on strangers only if other people's thoughts touch him, cause a response and empathy, a desire to help with advice or criticize what he has read.
A simple acquaintance with the posts and comments of strangers on the Internet is already communication and listening, and very intense. Even among the styles of high-quality journalism today, the most popular are heart-to-heart conversations and various "stories".
After reading other people's thoughts, the person is left with the impression that he seemed to have talked with the author. If several dialogues are open at once, the effect of polyphony arises - the same as in the children's room, where several children frolic. It turns out that reading a dozen texts in a row is equivalent to a conversation with the same number of real interlocutors. However, many are even more outspoken online than in real life. In addition, completely different topics are raised on the forums, between which you have to quickly switch. All this requires concentration of attention, emotional commitment. As a result, a person feels like a "squeezed lemon".
Why are books relaxing and internet writing boring?
Writers also talk to their readers through works of fiction. However, communication with the author of the book and Internet friends has fundamental differences. It is rare that a person reads more than two books at the same time, and most often he focuses on just one. It means that:
- if the mother prefers a work of art, she will have one interlocutor for several days;
- even the abundance of heroes will not cause the effect of polyphony, since all the characters are perceived by the reader of the book as the experience of the writer - the main interlocutor;
- communication in the online space is more intimate and frank.
Of all Internet authors, people are most attracted to intellectuals with good logic and an excellent sense of humor. Reading their notes delays, evokes an emotional response, the desire to ask questions, comment. However, over-communication is very tiring. When a woman is distracted from the computer and returns to her children, she will realize that she has not rested at all.
Fatigue from talking on forums and social networks negatively affects not only the child, but also the husband and other relatives. Chronic fatigue and emotional exhaustion cause irritability, and the closest ones always fall under the hot hand.
Of course, there is no need to completely abandon the Internet. It makes our life easier, more interesting, and also beneficial. On the Internet, for example, you can find the answer to a question that a child constantly asks. However, if you are tired of communicating with children and want to be in silence, you should not go into the online space. Better to read a book or sleep for half an hour to recuperate.
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