10 ways to teach your child to stand up for themselves

Many parents complain about their child's overly aggressive behavior, but there are also those who are worried that their baby is too peaceful and passive. How to teach a child to stand up for himself, in what ways, when and how to behave to parents in the event of a conflict in which the child fell, we will deal with these and other questions below.

Worries like “he will grow up to be a weakling” and “he will be hurt all his life” are not groundless, because every person in society must be able to defend his “I”. Of course, no one says that calm and non-conflict people can achieve less in life than active and aggressive people. You just need to make it clear to the child when and in what situations self-defense is necessary, and in what form to show it.

Before teaching your child self-confidence, figure out how much it is necessary. Psychological practice shows that those parents who, in childhood, could not resist the aggressors and offenders, are more often unhappy with the softness and weakness of the child. Understand the situation: does it make sense to convince the child depending on the grievances and physical protection, if he just handed out all the toys in the sandbox, and he himself poked with one shovel, or if in the process of active play he is pushed endlessly. Perhaps your child just wants to share, or active games are not suitable for him.

If you have decided that your child urgently needs help and needs to develop confidence, follow a few rules.

1. Deal with the family atmosphere.

Pay attention to the fact that you are not punishing your child too often and unnecessarily. If you endlessly shower a child with reproaches for his indecision and weakness, he can close in himself even more, just not to hear your censures. The child may be afraid of the parents' condemnation and not talk about being bullied.

There is no need to constantly compare the baby with others, showing that he is somehow worse. This will only ruin the child's self-esteem and will definitely not solve the problem.

Talk to your child more, learn trust and openness together.

If in your family, on the contrary, they take care of the baby too much, protect him from everything around, then this can lead to the development of timidity and lack of conflict. The child will not know in vain how to solve conflict situations, and the aggressive attitude of other children will not scare him, but surprise him.

Love and kindness in the family is great, but it is not worth limiting the child's communication because of the possible aggressive antics of other children. Your child should know what to expect when in the company of peers.

2. Learn to admit your own mistakes.

What does a child most often do if he has done something, even if by accident? Of course, run away, or say that he is not to blame. Teach your child to acknowledge their actions, understand mistakes in behavior, and take responsibility for them. Explain that if no one is hurt, then everything is fixable. If the kid did something on purpose, then let him know about the error of the act and its possible consequences.

When your child learns to accept his mistakes, he will become much more confident in himself, and in the future will be able to sort out conflict situations. Explain that you shouldn't dwell on such little things, and that there are much more serious offenses in life.

3. Teach not to show reactions to verbal attempts to humiliate.

Nobody is safe from name-calling and contrived nicknames. In kindergarten and at school, they can distort the surname, try to humiliate and insult with nicknames and teasers. Climbing on the offender with fists is not an option. Explain to your child that the best thing to do in this situation is to ignore the bully. As soon as the bullies see that they are not reacting to their aggression, they will stop bothering the child.

Of course, this tactic is appropriate for petty grievances, not for serious public humiliation.

4. Teach not to show fear.

Upon returning from school, older children threaten or take money away - the situation is not new. Tell your child that no one has the right, whoever they are, to force something against their will, threaten, or even beat. Of course, it is better to resolve the conflict peacefully. You need to get together and not show your fear, conduct a conversation clearly and confidently. If this does not help, then teach the child to defend himself against attacks physically, show not too dangerous techniques.

If your child decides to stand up for another, let him be confident that he is right and also not show fear. Determination is easier to show when the fate of another person depends on it. Tell your child that protecting the weak is the right thing to do.

5. Find out the true provocateur in person.

Observe the situation as far as it is real. Find out if your child himself is a provocateur of aggression. Perhaps it is he who bully other children, and they react with cruelty. If so, make it clear to the child that it is his actions that cause negative reactions from others.

6. Teach to firmly refuse.

Showing kindness and compassion is good. It is necessary to make it clear to the child when his kindness begins to be used, and when friendship and camaraderie develop into manipulation. To give your lunch, to the detriment of yourself to do a test for another, constantly carry a portfolio - such situations arise when a child is afraid that they will stop communicating with him, or will be called greedy, excluded from the environment, etc. Explain to your child what true friendship is built on and what is really important to cherish. If the child is being blackmailed, forced to give money, teach him to firmly refuse, defending his interests.

7. Letting yourself solve the problem.

When a conflict arises with the participation of your child, you should not immediately run to school or kindergarten, let the child solve the problem himself. After all, the usefulness of your intervention is a moot point. Abusers will be punished, but your child may be considered a weakling and a sneak. Naturally, if we are talking about beatings, thefts and other serious situations, then your intervention is necessary.

8. Help find friends.

If a child constantly finds himself in conflict situations, it is possible that he is simply communicating with the wrong company. You should not limit him in communication with old friends, so as not to cause internal protest, you just need to introduce him to other children. Go on a visit together, sign up for a club or section. There, the child can meet new friends and experience friendship in comparison. Calm children do not always become the object of others' aggression; even in the children's team, confident and self-sufficient children are respected. It is important to get into a good team.

9. Teach to accept help.

Make sure that your child is not ashamed of his failures, develop confidence in him, let him feel your support. Then he will not be afraid and will not hesitate to ask you and his friends for help. Accepting help doesn't mean appearing weak. On the contrary, a person who internally feels support is able to stand up for himself and not be afraid of difficulties.

10. Go in for sports.

It is not necessary to lead a child to wrestling or boxing with the hope that he will fight back in case of danger. Although these sports are also good in their own way. Let the child do the kind that he likes. Any sports activity will strengthen both the body and the spirit, develop patience, and therefore add confidence.

As parents, remember that the most important thing is to justify your child that protecting their interests is not always associated with violence. To prove to another that you are right, you do not need to constantly get into a fight. Who else, if not you, with your patience, care and understanding, can develop a child's confidence in himself and in his abilities.