It's boring to sit at home with a small child: what to do and how to diversify your life

The decree is a real test for any woman. First of all, because you have to change your lifestyle, sacrifice some of your favorite habits. As a result, many women complain that they are unbearably bored at home with small children. Let's talk about how to diversify your leisure time while sitting at home with your child.

Many women who stay at home with a small child are bored. Moreover, such boredom can develop into real depression, so it is very important to find a way out of the circle of constant dissatisfaction with life as soon as possible.

And most importantly: there is nothing reprehensible or even more shameful in the fact that you are bored! You should never blame yourself for being a bad mother. You are a wonderful mother, just you are also a person who has your own needs (both physical and intellectual), interests, hobbies, without which life seems boring, losing its usual colors. And this is absolutely normal! Therefore, we hide away the periodically emerging feeling of guilt, and begin to reason sensibly.

Are you afraid to admit to yourself and others that you are bored with sitting at home with your child? Don't panic: this fact, although it causes strong feelings of guilt and outright shame, does not at all confirm that you are a bad mother. Not at all, on the contrary, you are a completely normal mother! And our site for moms razvitie-krohi.ru will try to prove it to you and give some advice on how to get through this difficult period in your life.

Why does it get boring at all

While still pregnant, any woman draws her future decree in the brightest colors. It seems to her that these will be the happiest few years in her life. But when this long-awaited time comes, it turns out that everything is not so easy and healthy, discontent arises, which easily turns into depression.

The woman asks herself (naturally, feeling guilty): what is wrong with me, why am I bored, what am I missing, because my dream has come true, I have a wonderful child, etc.? Everything is very simple. On the shoulders of a modern woman there are a lot of responsibilities that no one thought to cancel with the advent of a child. She, as before, should (from the point of view of the stereotypes of modern society) look great, cook great, maintain cleanliness and comfort in the house, be a good lover, etc.)

And no one asks what the woman herself wants, whether it is easy for her. The situation is aggravated if the young mother does not have helpers. But the older the child, the more time and effort he requires. Six months, a year, a year and a half, and the woman begins to realize that she is simply unbearably bored ...

Each was faced with a situation when they have to break away from the work they have begun in order to devote time to the child. The kid once again runs up, pulls at the clothes with the words: "Mom, let's go play!" And you obediently turn off the iron, turn off undercooked soup, throw under-weighed linen, turn off an unseen TV show, or end an unfinished conversation on the phone (or put off any other business) and go to build castles, a house for Barbies, make dolls' hairstyles or roll cars. It would seem that it should be very exciting - to play pirates or hide and seek, sculpt funny rabbits and bears from plasticine, give injections to patients and give them toy pills. And all this looks exciting only from the outside, and for the hundredth time it is far from so much fun! And in order to get sincere pleasure from children's games, you probably need to fall into childhood yourself ...

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Parents should spend their whole being in childhood in order to really get genuine pleasure from playing with young children.

But this is very rare, especially in our time, when there are so many temptations and so many interesting things around! These are fascinating films, and books, and communication with your beloved friends, and the opportunity to chat with girlfriends on the phone. And what is the Internet alone. As you can see, the interests of the mother and the child are completely different, as a result of which the woman begins to feel very bored. And children, even the smallest, feel it very well, capturing the slightest mood swings of the mother. And here the conscience begins to torment, because the kid is not guilty of anything!

Is there a way out of the vicious circle

So what to do in a situation when playing with a child is bored, how to diversify your leisure time while sitting on maternity leave? Is it possible at all, or is it just worth it, clenching your teeth, to endure these few years until the child goes to kindergarten and there will be more time for personal life and interests?

There is definitely a way out.

First, you need to honestly admit to yourself that you are bored, that this is the main reason for your dissatisfaction.
Second, get rid of the natural, but completely inappropriate feeling of guilt towards your child. Again, you are not guilty of anything, you also deserve to be happy, and you are not obliged to make any sacrifices to long-awaited motherhood.
Third, you need to try to find and understand the main reasons why you get bored.

And finally, find a way out of the current circumstances.

Let's consider the most important reasons that lead to the fact that it becomes unbearably boring for you to sit at home with a small child, as well as tips, thanks to which you can change the situation for the better.

Fatigue

And this is understandable: in a day a woman has to redo a huge number of tasks that require colossal energy costs (constant feeding, bathing, changing the child's clothes, active games, cleaning the apartment, cooking and much more). It is exhausting, draining, and sometimes drives you into real depression. The child demands to run vigorously around the house with him, and you do not even have the strength to get up.

What can be done here? We advise you to analyze in detail your "working" day, highlighting the main and secondary matters. More often than not, women suffer from mis-prioritization. Decide right away what is important and what is secondary to you and focus on the first, and the rest - if possible.

The next step is to think about how you can unload your “working” day a little, because it is simply impossible to enjoy communicating with a child, cooking dinner with one hand, ironing linen with the other, simultaneously playing with the baby, etc. Live easier! Unironed linen won't go anywhere (you can always iron it tomorrow), didn't you have time to wash the floors today? - Wash tomorrow! Deeds have always been, are and will be, they need to be treated "philosophically". And the husband may well, as far as possible, connect to homework, even if he works (you also work in your own way, and it is not yet known whose work is harder). It's great if you can discuss your problem with your husband, ask for help and find a way out together.

Don't try to be the perfect mom, wife and hostess at the same time - you won't have enough strength.

It is impossible, having a small child, to keep the house in perfect condition, and everyone understands this.

As always there is no time

The lack of free time is the second important reason that leads to the fact that a woman is constantly dissatisfied while sitting at home with her child. The most striking confirmation of this: forums for mothers are simply full of complaints about how little time they have left for themselves.

What to say? We women are sensual creatures. We are in dire need of positive emotions that beautiful outfits, makeup, favorite films and books, communication with friends and so on give us. And in the decree this need does not disappear anywhere. For each of us, in order to feel happy, it is important to find time for yourself, your hobbies and little joys.

What can be done in an acute time pressure situation? Well, firstly, if you correctly estimated and assigned priorities (see the previous chapter), then you probably understood what activities during the day can be neglected in order to allocate a free minute for yourself.

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Secondly, one should not be shy and ask for help from loved ones (husband, grandmothers, grandfathers, and sometimes friends). You will be surprised, but even a minimal change of scenery (for example, you left the child with your grandmother, and yourself went for a manicure, met a friend, visited the pool, etc.) can greatly change your mood and energize! Having returned home even after a short rest (sometimes an hour or two is enough), you will miss your baby so much that playing with him will give you pleasure for a long time!

Believe me, you can (and should) find and carve out time for yourself in any circumstances, if you correctly distribute all the same priorities. Fortunately, we live in a time of high technologies, and today each of us has a washing machine, a multicooker, and so on, which greatly facilitates life and saves time.

Sometimes, in order to relieve stress and switch, it is enough to put the child to bed, make some aromatic tea and just enjoy for a while, letting go of all worries. And there can be a lot of such amenities (coffee in the park, while the child is sleeping in the stroller, an evening bath, while the baby is playing with dad, something delicious, talking with a friend on the phone, etc.)

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We diversify activities with a child

Do you want your child to grow up smart and develop well? Do you think that teaching a child is boring and uninteresting? Thanks to a huge number of modern developmental techniques and devices, you can turn the learning process into an exciting (and, both for the child and for you) process. Do not neglect this opportunity! Feel free to buy all kinds of finger paints, constructors, development tools and do it with pleasure. And most importantly - turn on your imagination, you can always come up with something interesting for both of you!

Moreover, subject to financial opportunities, professional courses are at your service, in which professional teachers will study with your child (and you can devote this time to yourself).

Mothers are snapping up all sorts of teaching aids and techniques to work hard with their crumbs every day. For what? To tell her friends at the next meeting: "And we already know Yesenin by mouth, and this is a year and a half!"

It is very important in this matter not to overdo it. All classes are good in moderation, and a strong pressure can discourage a child from learning. Perhaps the ideal option would be classes at an early development school 1 or 2 times a week, in which the child will be really interested. And most importantly, there is no need to force events and strive to teach a child something for which he is not yet ready (for example, to teach to read before three years). It is much better to play with him at the same time interesting and educational games. So, do not go too far, let everything be gradually and in due time.

Bored out of work

The point is that women who were actively building their careers before the decree, passionately loved their work, or simply led an active business lifestyle, lack these impressions. Especially when they watch their successful colleagues, who, without slowing down, achieve work success.

In this case, think about how you could fulfill yourself while sitting on maternity leave. This can be both part-time work in the previous workplace, or another type of activity that you could do without harming your family. For example, you can negotiate with your boss and work half-time or take some work home. If this is not possible, you can try to master any other type of activity that does not require full-time employment (there are a lot of options: network marketing, working on the Internet, etc.) Thus, you can realize yourself, develop, and money is never superfluous are.

Lack of communication

With the advent of a child, the usual communication becomes much less. This is understandable: girlfriends who do not have children, or those whose children have already grown up, are not particularly interested in talking about breastfeeding and childhood diseases. Because of this disadvantage, women become very bored.

How to be in this situation? Look among your circle of those who, like you, have recently given birth to a child or are just preparing for this event. Feel free to suggest spending time together. You can walk or visit each other. Common interests unite very much. And games with a baby in a company with other children and their mothers are always more fun.

Too monotonous games

What could be worse than monotony? Of course, kids are very interested in running and jumping all day long, playing with their favorite toys, which cannot be said about you. The same games, from day to day, can be incredibly tiring and boring.

How to be? Turn on your imagination and come up with a variety of games and activities that will please both of you. As an option: invite your baby to paint with finger paints on unnecessary wallpaper and join this exciting activity, cook toy food with your child, wash children's dishes, come up with a lot of fun active games. To help you - soap bubbles, mosaics, kinetic sand, plasticine, educational constructors, an easel on which you can create your first masterpieces, and much more.

And be more attentive to your baby, do not let him understand that you are a burden to play with him. After all, it's not his fault that you have too much to do. It is much better to involve him in housework (within reason, of course). Invite your child to participate in cooking (for example, he can easily cut vegetables or fruits with a toy knife), cleaning the apartment (for example, helping you hang out the laundry, folding your toys, dusting on a small table, etc.). Believe me, most children take such requests with great pleasure and enthusiasm! Another huge plus of such activity is that the child learns something new, feels necessary and useful.

6 ways to keep your child entertained without toys. Educational games with a child 1 - 3 years old:

But if, after trying all these methods, you still dream of running away from home, you can try to hire a nanny. And do not think that there is something shameful in this, because by shifting some of the responsibilities to another person, you will have more opportunities to communicate with your beloved child.

As you can see, making your life on maternity leave more diverse and vibrant is quite real, the main thing is not to lose heart and think a little. Remember also one commonplace truth: in order to work, you will have a whole life, and the child will be small only once. After all, these are the happiest years, which we will remember more than once in the future. Good luck to you and your kids!