7 bad tips for raising a victim and a failure

All parents want happiness and well-being for their children. Everyone strives to raise a kind, polite, open child, but the result is sometimes the opposite. Adults sometimes, by their words and actions, underestimate the self-esteem of a son or daughter, make their child feel guilty and behave like a victim. Of course, parents do this unconsciously and not on purpose. On the contrary, they think that they instill in the child the skills of cleanliness, orderliness, teach him to behave friendly towards others. It's a paradox, but everything turns out quite the opposite: while mom and dad think that they are giving their baby the best, he becomes more and more withdrawn and unadapted to independent life.

Do you want your child to be uncomfortable in this world, so that he does not know how to communicate with people, finds himself in unpleasant and risky situations? Just follow our “harmful” recommendations - and the effect will not be long in coming.

1. Make it share

Remember that the crumbs should not have anything of their own. Teach your child that he is obliged to give his toys to anyone who asks him to - especially if the magic word "please" sounds. Even if the toy has just been presented to the baby, he must give it to another child at the first request. Refuses? Then call him greedy.

From an early age, teach your baby to give in to everyone - children in the yard, grandmothers, grandfathers, dogs, everyone… And it doesn't matter that you and your baby stood in line for half an hour on the hill, but then another child came up and started crying? Of course, let him come forward. Your baby will wait another half hour - for him, after all, this is a mere trifle. The main thing is that the stranger's boy will be happy, and explain to your own that he is very kind and acts generously. Teach your child that such little things as slides, swings, and generally any entertainment are not important in life.

2. Inspire that crying is a shame

Explain to your baby that only bad and ill-mannered children cry and get angry. Your child is not like that. He grows as a personality - whole, in harmony with himself and with the world around him. Such a person should not succumb to negative emotions. Constantly inspire the baby that only dysfunctional people who did not know joy in life are screaming and crying.

3. Scold for any mistake

You know that your kid is a future genius, that he is smarter and smarter than everyone else? Explain this to him too. Inspire the child that he has no right to make a mistake, because he must be perfect in everything, he must grasp everything on the fly. If the kid does not know how to do something, it is better for him not to take it up at all. Criticize him harshly and unconstructively, do not bother with the selection of arguments and immediately get personal.

Don't overdo it with praise. Show your baby your approval only when you yourself think that he has made an outstanding achievement. Can't the child do something the first time? Tell him that he is lazy, clumsy, foolish and hopeless. Compare with other children and remember to add that the other boy or girl is much smarter.

4. Learn that courtesy comes first

Train your child to think about how to make a good impression on adults. Make the kid tell all the people who speak to him. After all, he must grow up to be a sociable, friendly person whom everyone will love. If your child doesn't want to hug his grandmother, aunt, or your best friend, make him do it. A child does not and cannot have personal boundaries, especially in relation to relatives.

5. Build guilt

Remind your little one that they have a responsibility to you. If you have a headache, it’s his fault - he didn’t obey, he laughed loudly, so your head ached. If the saleswoman was rude to you in the store, the child is again to blame, because he indulged and angered others. If you overslept, received a reprimand from your superiors, lost something - all your failures and problems are associated with the inappropriate behavior of the baby and he should know about it. Let the baby grow and realize the power of his influence on this world. He has yet to meet your expectations.

But before other people, the child does not bear any guilt or responsibility. Explain and inspire the child, no matter what happens in the kindergarten or on the playground, other children are always to blame, but not your child. Has your child pushed or called someone? Surely, that child is to blame, so let his parents figure it out. Your baby is initially better than everyone else. Your child is so cute, so small, he is the best!

6. Communicate with your child as equals

Adult life can be quite harsh, and the baby must prepare for this in advance, so teach this from childhood. Always tell your little one and keep the baby informed about all your money problems, about your failures at work, about quarrels and disagreements with your spouse. A child should know how dangerous the world is around, what evil people around, how hard it is for mom.

If the parents are divorced, the mother must explain to her son that now it is time for him to grow up, because he remained the only and main man in the family and only on him you can rely. The girl should find out as early as possible that she is a princess, and men are not worthy of her. All they do is that they cheat, and "they all need only one thing."

7. Impose your opinion

The child is too small to have a point of view. As a mother, you always know better what your baby needs, how he should think and act, because you have life experience. Tell your child that he must always ask for your advice, permission and agree with your every word. Until the baby grows up and at least starts to understand something, it will take a long time. Therefore, now parents should decide everything for him. When the baby grows up, he will still say "thank you" to them for this.

Many of you probably recognized yourself in places while reading this article. Think - would you yourself thank your parents for such an upbringing?