I will not be mistaken if I say that many women of childbearing age are concerned about the problem of the number of children in a family. I want to share my life experience about pregnancy, which does not always come as a result of unprotected sex, ends with childbirth, as well as my thoughts about why two children are enough for me.
Why is two children enough for me?
I remember myself as a girl of kindergarten age, my first "groom", four-year-old Romka, with whom the details of life together were vigorously discussed. In childhood dreams there was a spacious house and many children. Then I grew up. The grooms changed, and the dream remained the same until a certain age, until I realized, having stumbled upon a lot of obstacles, that life corrects children's fantasies.
It takes a while to get pregnant
"Blowing with the wind" and "getting pregnant from the sight" - these fables are believed when you are no more than 20. But as soon as the process of family planning begins, obstacles arise: either health is disappointing, then the tests are bad, or even just some kind of indifference comes. But even with good health, it is often impossible to get pregnant at will. Then sex ceases to be a pleasure, but turns into an obsession to become a mother. This is accompanied by calculating the day and hour, searching internally for the desired sensations, and then terribly frustrated when menstruation comes. I had to go through it personally. The dream of having a second child turned into many unsuccessful attempts and treatment.
Difficulties in subsequent pregnancies
During my first pregnancy, everything went as expected. The test showed 2 strips, and I began to count 36 weeks before the desired event - the birth of a baby. At this time, she took vitamins, tried to eat right, visited a doctor every 14 days, took the necessary tests and thought about what to call her child. The birth took place almost on time.
It took 7 years, and I decided on a second child. But now everything was different. At first, there was a so-called biochemical pregnancy, which was almost imperceptibly interrupted at a very early stage and was not noticed by many women. However, this does not apply to those who closely follow the cycle, because they dream of having a child. When such a pregnancy is terminated, there is no limit to the chagrin of women. They worry and cry as if they have lost a real fetus, and not 2 cells that have just merged with each other.
I experienced the same state.
A month later, my joy knew no bounds: a real pregnancy came with a fixed fetus. After 9 months, the long-awaited girl was born. However, the dream of having many children did not leave me. And I decided on a third child when my daughter was one year old.
Pregnancy often does not end with childbirth
When I went to the ultrasound, the specialist told me that the fetus froze a month ago. There was no limit to my despair. After all, this whole month I stroked my belly, talked with the future baby, wondered who would be born. And his heart was no longer beating. Tears flowed from my eyes. I asked the doctor about the reason, having blamed for my middle age. But the doctor told me that this happens now with 19-year-olds, and in general almost 30% of pregnancies end with this. Ecology is to blame for everything. The gynecologist advised me to undergo treatment for six months and try to get pregnant again.
After being discharged from the hospital, she quickly came to her senses. Rehabilitation with a home regime and my children was successful. After 3 months, the thought of a child again crept into my head. After the same time, I saw 2 strips on the test. A six-month pregnancy ended with disclosure at 21 weeks and sepsis. The chances of keeping the baby already living in me were nil. Doctors fought for my life, diagnosing ICI. In the perinatal center, they told me that the doctors who did not sew me 2 months ago were to blame.
Why is two children enough for me?
It is not a sentence if the dream remained a dream. But, paradoxically, as soon as my daughter turned 2 years old, there was a burning need to go to work. I got bored reading fairy tales, playing dolls with my daughter, running after her while walking around the playground. Talking about children with other mothers became uninteresting to me.
Perhaps someone will consider me a bad mother, but I wanted to spend at least some time on myself, to feel moments of solitude from others, to pursue a career, although it is believed that she and children are incompatible concepts.
I do not want to be sewn up at 14 weeks, to lie with my legs raised during my entire pregnancy, afraid to even cough. I also don’t want to worry about the children left without me when I go to the hospital to save.
I don’t want to lie at all, I want to live and enjoy life and bring up grown children. I realized that I wanted to move, enjoy a fulfilling life, take care of growing children asking questions and being aware of requests.
Many children - many nerves
Children are great! I love them, but I understand that my growing up daughter and son require more and more attention. The older my daughter gets, the more time I need to devote to her. And the son also requires attention, and at his tenth the first signs of adolescence are already visible. I'm still coping, but the thought often comes to my mind: "Would I have coped if there were three of them?" Probably yes ... Or maybe no, and this is not given to me in vain ... In any case, there is no desire to experiment.
Sometimes I dream that I am pregnant. Then I wake up in a cold sweat, feel my stomach and breathe a sigh of relief, it's all over, and no more!
