How to become a mother, to be a good housewife, wife and at the same time not to forget about yourself and your hobbies. 10 tips for young moms to make life easier on maternity leave. Young mothers "I am your baby" will share their advice.
With the birth of a child, young parents face the problem of combining baby care, household chores and time for themselves. General advice on time planning can be found from the advice of specialists and psychologists, but it is best to take advantage of the experience of the same couples. Here is one of the stories of a modern girl who faced certain difficulties.
My decree started 8 months ago. I have 2 higher educations and over 7 years of experience in journalism and PR companies. But at the same time, I was completely unprepared for the daily chores around the house. Probably, I could be classified as a typical city girl who is used to spending all the time with her friends in cafes, clubs, cinema and other entertainment venues.
How I changed my life
The first two months of my decree were also the last days of my pregnancy. I was surrounded by attention and tried to cope with my own laziness so as not to lie on the couch for days.
With the birth of a child, my difficulties began. I was the only one to take care of him and household chores. The kid was capricious all the time and, calming him, I did not have time to do anything, even take a shower or prepare food for my husband. We became frequent visitors to restaurants (or ordered food from restaurants), and this hit our family budget. And I myself was not ready for this, so I gradually became like the grumpy housewife from popular jokes.
But then the moment came when I was tired of this routine of life, and I decided to change something. She started a diary, in which she began to write down the new foundations of her life. I'll make a reservation right away that I'm not going to discover America. A lot of articles and even books have been written on the topic of how to keep up with everything. I will try to share my experience and present small tips as concisely as possible. After all, I know that young mothers have very little time. I want to talk about my experience of motherhood and give young mothers some advice that helped me a lot in my time.
1. Daily routine
This is the most important condition for a healthy life for a young mother. Most women on maternity leave go to bed late and get up early in the morning with great difficulty. And if you also take into account the night feeding of the child ... In general, constant lack of sleep can lead to chronic fatigue, rapid exhaustion and burnout. In the future, it will be difficult for you to keep up with all your household chores of mom and wife.
I know many women who have children. At the same time, they all have time both at home and at work. The secret is that they try to maintain proper sleep patterns - they get up early and go to bed early.
Try to write out your daily routine as much as possible and then stick to it. Thanks to this, you will be able to plan your affairs, you will have time to do them, and at the same time there will still be time for your family and yourself.
Many young mothers are perplexed "What can be the daily routine if there is a small child in the house ..." In some ways they are right. Therefore, the daily routine should be designed taking into account the natural biorhythms and needs of the child. An obligatory part of the daily routine should be daily walks with the baby, bathing, massage, and then add everything else.
2. Business planning
Visits to the doctor, grocery shopping should be planned. Every week I use Evernote to create a menu for the whole week, i.e. I know I will cook baked sea bass on Thursday. There are tons of recipe apps on the Internet that you can use to make a list of foods. For example, recipes by Julia Vysotskaya or Bon Apetite. This planning allows me not to waste time on daily trips to the store if I suddenly want to make lasagna, and at home there is no nutmeg. All products are purchased once for the whole week.
3. Splitting cases
Cooking is an activity that you have to do every day. However, I choose simple recipes. The oven and slow cooker became excellent helpers in this matter. But even with them, it takes me about an hour to cook dinner. How many young children do you know who will sit quietly for so long?
Since my affairs were planned in advance, the family's diet for tomorrow is already known. I try to divide the cooking itself into several parts in order to have time to do as many things as possible. I know what will be for dinner tomorrow, so I can split the process into parts to speed it up. For example, in the evening, chop vegetables or marinate meat.
Likewise, you can split up all household chores, including cleaning, project assignments (for freelancers). For example, I did it like this: today I wash the floor, and tomorrow I dust.
4. Timing
Determine for yourself how much time you need to do certain chores around the house, and try to always stick to it. If you need to go out somewhere at 11 in the morning, then try to do it at this time, and not later.
You can install a clock in each room. This will allow you to always be aware of "what time it is", and at the same time to complete all tasks scheduled for the day.
5. Attracting helpers
Ask family members to supervise the child occasionally so you can get some rest. For me, my husband, grandparents have become such helpers. While the grandparents are walking with the child, you can relax. My husband most often acts as my assistant, and, of course, toys, swings, a highchair, as well as a dishwasher, a food processor and a washing machine are saved.
6. Assign responsibilities
Household responsibilities should be shared among all family members. It's not right when all things fall on the shoulders of one person, so do not hesitate to ask for help. On the way, one of you will cook, and the other will then wash the dishes and take out the trash.
Most women make the same mistake - they take it all on themselves. At the same time, they begin to do all the responsibilities around the house, and then they also tell the husband that they did something for them. In the future, these matters are gradually transferred to the woman, as the husband gets used to the fact that everything is done for him.
The mistake of many women is that they take on other people's responsibilities if they see that they have not been done, and then begin to express that I have taken out the trash for you.
Do not lead to this! Instead, remind your husband of the outstanding business. But do not go too far, otherwise you will become that very grumpy wife. Distribute all household chores to everyone, so that each family member is responsible for something. And only in this way the mother will not turn into a woman driven by everyday life.
7. Don't delay
Do not leave things for later if you can do them right away. Back from the store with your purchases? Lay them out at once. Have you prepared your meal? Clean the stove. Have lunch? Wash the dishes after you, because it will take less time to wash one cup than it will take the whole pile that accumulates in a day. And everything is in the same spirit ...
8. Take time for yourself
Sticking to a regimen and doing your household chores is best when you are in a good mood. And what is needed for this, besides the calmness of the child? Every young mom is still a girl who needs to feel attractive. And this already requires self-care. Take a shower in the morning, do a simple hairdo and apply light makeup. Here are the simplest tips for every woman to feel confident all day long.
I often walk with my child on the street and see that many mothers completely forget about themselves. They stop caring for themselves, and from beautiful outfits they climb into tracksuits. I doubt their husbands are comfortable with such changes in their wives.
When the husband comes home, take the child and meet him at the door. A trifle, but nice. I think it's such little things that relationships are built.
9. Simplify
Try to keep things simple. When choosing recipes, don't go for particularly complicated dishes. For myself, I set a goal to feed my family and guests deliciously, and not amaze them with overseas delights. I cook complex dishes, but not more often than once a week. I also always give myself a Sunday break from cooking.
10. Don't forget about your hobbies and friends
For this, I began to use Time management. Some husbands themselves constantly communicate with friends, but at the same time forbid their wives to do the same. Or against her hobbies. They forget that a woman is happy when a man accepts her not only as a free housekeeper. If a person does not have the opportunity to do what he loves, then he is unhappy.
Conclusion
At the end of my story, I want to thank everyone who read it. The advice I've given is simple, but people often forget about it. I decided to share my experience in order to support other girls and help them quickly get used to such a new role for them as “mother”.
Here's what moms write from the forums
Svetlanashen: My topic)) There are no assistants at all, from the word at all! One child, I will never go after the second and for nothing! The decree turned me into a crumbling grumpy old woman, I'm 28 in total ... My husband thinks that I don't work, I rest, never cleans up after myself , scatters everything - I'll take away the time completely! From the fact that everything has deteriorated by itself, my health has deteriorated dramatically, I feel unhappy (Child 2.5, during this period, from constant awakening from crying, then from the alarm clock I do not get enough sleep at all, insomnia and headaches appeared. In short, the period is terrible, but the children are growing ... I will go to work though I will not see these saucepans anymore, everything enrages.
Elena: I do everything normally. I get up at 7.00 to 7.30, my time - I drink coffee, go to the shower, do exercises. At 7.30 am I raise the children (there are three of them: 7 years old, 6 years old and 9 months old) The elders dress, wash, fix the beds, I collect the small one. Further all in about 30 minutes I take them to schools / kindergartens. As I handed everyone out, I stop by the store / go to the clinic, pay the bills. I come home, feed the small one, walk with her, play, do exercises. Then she was tired of sleeping, I was watching a movie, doing yoga, reading a book (if you suddenly slept badly at night, then sleep), then we wake up, she was playing in the playpen, I was cooking, then for the senior to school, on the way from school to playground - walk. Then go home to have dinner, do homework, clean up. Then after the middle to the kindergarten. And now at 18.00 and I have everything at home, the food is ready, the apartment is cleaned, the lessons learned. All about their own business. Older children clean up their toys, bed, sweep the floor, vacuum the carpet, disassemble their closet, wash the dishes after themselves. The eldest son can fry eggs, make tea / coffee and take out the trash (but for now he only does if he wants to). There are no problems with a little one, you do everything, just with her and that's it. Until the third was born, I worked. It was even easier. WHAT do you manage not to keep up with？ If suddenly one of the grandmothers takes the children （rarely, but it happens） then my husband and I have time for two, we go to the cinema / cafe / theater, etc.
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Julia: I wear light makeup. I rarely paint my nails, there is no time for a salon. Therefore, I prefer accuracy. I cook simple dishes, rarely make laborious ones. I only iron things on the street, because the child is shilopop, I'm afraid to grab the iron. I get distracted when he goes to bed in the evening at 21. In the morning he gets up at 6, sometimes at 5. Therefore, there is not enough energy, I go to bed with him during the day, for 2 hours. From entertainment: reading books, communicating, making bracelets from natural stones and crocheting toys ( very rarely).
Daria: It seems to me that the main secret is that it is impossible to do everything. "Tell me how you do everything" - "It's simple, I don't have time" (C) 🙂 Set priorities, rejoice at your achievements if you managed to do something from the planned list (plan the day, divide things into important, urgent, unimportant , not urgent), praise yourself, do not self-destruct with the thought "I have no time for anything."
Svetlana: I do not have time to do anything ... the machine washes, prepares a multicooker (at least it will not burn out and will not run away) to sleep where I fell there and sleep (it happens in the evening I sleep, watch cartoons) my floor 1-2 times a day, at myself only when I am sleeping , but I don’t wear makeup practically, otherwise it will be the same or hysterical for the whole day !!! he needs everything like a mother ((((and I walk 3-4 hours a day, I try to fall asleep on the street, then you can go to a cafe, you can go shopping, you can buy some forbidden treat))))
Garold-99:Prioritize, make a list of tasks for the day, count the time it will take, and then filter out, more important things to the first place, secondary to the second, do not run after everything at once, you will not have time for anything, but better and generally plan things for the week ahead , make a schedule, it will be difficult at first, but then you will start to get used to it.
Lheim:You can't do everything. You still have to sacrifice something. It is good if there are assistants who can be trusted with cleaning / cooking, etc. But if they are not there, it is difficult to keep up, if only to the detriment of sleep, and do not last long. The main thing in this business is your own quickness and ability to adapt to the situation. In any case, you will have to combine childcare with some kind of business: either cleaning or part-time work. It is very important not to strive to do everything perfectly, because best the enemy of the good. If the baby is very tiny, a sling or an ergonomic backpack will help: the baby is to him, he is fine, and his hands are free. If the baby is older, then the playpen is what you need.
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