7 things in raising a child that cause fears, doubts, anxiety and worries in young mothers. Myths about what is useful and what is bad for the baby. And in what cases it is very harmful to listen to the advice of other mothers about the upbringing and development of children.
When a baby appears in a family, many problems immediately surface that previously carefree parents could not even imagine. Together with the child, not only the habit of stopping in the store at the shelf with toys comes into our life, but also new experiences and fears. Most often, these experiences have nothing to do with grace and carefree affection, on the contrary - we are attacked by anxious feelings. As the child grows up, fears accumulate, grow and get stronger. And instead of delight, joy and tenderness, mother, bent over the cradle, experiences unaccountable anxiety. At the same time, most fears have no real basis. We will dispel groundless parenting experiences so that they no longer interfere with enjoying every minute spent with your baby.
1. Horror! He chews on the shoe!
Previously, the apartment seemed to you quite clean and safe. And even if she was not as neat as we would like, no one saw a serious problem in this. From time to time a vacuum cleaner went into action, once a week a wet cleaning was solemnly carried out, and that's it: it is quite possible to live in the house. But then a child was born, and suddenly it turned out that in each room there are at least 322 traumatic objects, the apartment is simply flooded with the most dangerous microbes, sharp objects and flammable materials, pets are an uncontrollable natural threat, and due to the abundance of dust and dirt under the bed, soon new forms of life will spontaneously arise. And the kid stubbornly drags all this disgrace into his mouth, including the dust and tail of Vaska's cat. Many mothers in such cases throw their last strength to fight the dirt, trying to disinfect everything around, including the cat. And completely in vain! It turns out that modern science believes that the child is right and we are not.
Immunologist and microbiologist Mary Rubusch, who wrote the book "Why Dirt Is Good", indicates that according to the latest research, the intake of bacteria from the environment into the body stimulates the immune system, strengthens the body, this is the prevention of allergies and autoimmune diseases. Therefore, do not lose consciousness at the sight of a child licking an unsanitary stool leg or a cat's ear. Calm down and exhale.
2. Horror! I'll teach him to hand!
Although there are no children in the world who, in adulthood, prefer to sit in the arms of their parents, the myth about "will not come off" is somehow terribly tenacious. Parents who strive to grow a strong, independent personality out of a child often try to accustom the baby to independence from the cradle. Instead of taking the crying baby in their arms, they grudgingly leave him whimpering in the crib. They just don't know how harmful it is to leave a child to deal with negative emotions on their own.
As the English psychotherapist Sue Gerhard states in his book How Love Shapes the Brain of a Child, this should never be done and talks about the dangers of this approach. Emotional and bodily contact with parents is necessary for the baby for the normal development of the nervous system, the correct functioning of the left hemisphere of the brain and the formation of a healthy psyche. Children who were picked up only to feed and change diapers, later in life, are more difficult to cope with cognitive tasks and less likely to experience positive emotions. Therefore, feel free to carry the babies in your arms - this way you take no less care of his intellectual development and general health. It is literally in your hands. Moreover, children will definitely not want to sit on your arms until they come of age.
3. Horror! I'm doing everything wrong!
It is customary to do a lot of different things with babies: bathing in a foam hat, playing magpie-crow, brushing the first teeth with a silicone brush, combing the crown of the head with a soft brush ... Mothers disciplinedly go through the whole range of procedures until they suddenly have a terrible thought: what if suddenly Am I doing everything wrong? What if playing magpie-crow should be completely different, but the foam cap should be of a different design? It is not for nothing that there are so many specialists around. And that's all - hello neurosis and long surfing on specialized sites and in search of the truth, mothers dive into the Internet, where within the first 7 minutes they find symptoms of five diseases that their baby probably suffers from, and eleven ways to play the notorious "magpie". And the most interesting thing is that people sitting “on the other side of the Internet” seem to them to be cool specialists in the field of raising children, and they themselves are complete mediocrity. And it does not even occur to me that bathing, caring for and playing with children is largely a matter of cultural characteristics, not life and death. The style of the cap will not affect the health of the baby in any way.
We are a unique generation of parents, we do not trust ourselves as much as we trust specialists from the Internet.
4. Horror! I'm playing wrong with the child!
Surprisingly, but true: a child of the first years of life does not need a clever animator at all. The one he needs most is you. Even if you are in a bad mood. Many parents have absolutely no idea how to play with children. They are ready to learn from books how to do "cuckoo" and "horned goat" correctly, and when they try to sing a lullaby, they uncertainly moo something about a gray top. And that's not a problem! The kid is completely indifferent to how he is entertained, the main thing is that it is you who do it. It is your smile, the clumsy "horned goat" and the voice humming something unintelligible that are the most pleasant course of things for a son or daughter. Your voice, your smell, your funny comments in attempts to curb the baby jumpsuit is perceived by the child as the most natural and best way of things. Be proud, so you can safely put aside doubts and be yourself, the baby loves you in any way.
5. Horror! He will never learn to walk, poop in a pot, or eat on his own!
A favorite pastime of modern mothers is searching the Internet for age norms of child development. Apparently, in the study of age norms there is some kind of excitement, otherwise why do parents study them so fanatically, and then having thoroughly studied and memorized them, they conduct lively conversations on playgrounds with mothers "competitors", finding out when Vasya's first tooth erupted, and Petya began to ask for a pot. And God forbid, if their child in something will lag behind their peers! “And we have already learned how to assemble a pyramid! And you? Disassemble the car? Daddy ?! And, while ours ... But we already have 5 teeth! " And it makes no sense to say that age norms are not strictly limited rigid frames, and any child is a unique personality with individual characteristics. Fortunately, all these worries are quickly forgotten: after a few months you will no longer be able to say with certainty when your baby learned to roll over on his stomach, and when he first crawled.
6. Horror! He will get colic!
Colic is the main "scarecrow" for any mother. Not only is the baby itself mysterious, but it also has strange attacks of incessant roaring. If no one understands why the child cries for more than three hours, he is diagnosed with colic and many folk remedies are advised. Stories about babies crying all day and night can leave parents uncomfortable for a long time, even if nothing like this is happening to their child. They are trying to give the baby all kinds of medications to drink, from traditional medicine to pharmaceutical preparations. The main thing in such a situation is not to panic! Modern medicine is quite capable of solving the problem with colic without resorting to radical methods.
7. Horror! He's going to drop the closet on him!
Nailing all heavy objects with nails to the floor will be useful 🙂
- The main fears of a young mother
- Memo for a young mother: 13 "tips" not to listen to
- 8 signs you are an anxious mom
- Parents' fears: how to stop being afraid
- 10 ways to get rid of the complex "I'm a bad mom"
