Holiday gifts for children are not only joyful moments, but also an educational aspect. Our goal is to enable the child to experience a fabulous atmosphere and benefit. Read 8 Psychologist's Tips on Choosing New Year Gifts.
Some pamper the child with modern gadgets for a lot of money. The latter make the kid deserve a present with housework, study, good behavior. Below, the psychologist answered several key questions regarding the right choice of gifts for children for the New Year.
1. The child behaved badly: is it worth giving gifts?
The winter holidays are associated with wonder and hope. And the feeling of contact with something higher and infinitely wonderfully generous and kind. And by receiving his own gift, the child also gets a feeling. Love doesn't have to be earned. In my opinion, parental manipulations are not correct - you will misbehave, you will not receive a gift. “Good boys and girls,” as they grow up, continue to deserve and curry favor. The threat of punishment, the expectation of punishment is experienced more difficult than the punishment itself. Any violence, the mention of a rod and a belt is already violence, which is unacceptable even for the highest educational purposes.
2. Clothes instead of toys: the biggest mistake
Advertising on the Internet, films, cartoons all year round promise the kid that he will receive something bright and cool for the holiday. Let us learn that clothes cannot be presented as a gift at all, except perhaps an additional one. It is always disappointment and resentment that causes distrust.
Toddlers do not need pants as a gift - until 8-10 years old, children rarely think about fashion, although now the trend is changing, as designer items have become a source of pride. But here it is important to observe the needs of the child. If a person forcibly seats his son or daughter in front of the computer and begins to say: “Look, what dress, you want this, right?”, Then he does not fulfill the desire, but imposes it. At the age of 13, sometimes even older, boys and girls, against their own wishes, agree with the authority of their parents, which spoils their mood.
3. Awaken the desire for gifts
The secret of happiness lies not so much in the object itself as in the expectation of a miracle. Therefore, smart parents begin to tell in advance that Santa Claus will put something interesting under the Christmas tree. The child, on the other hand, guesses enthusiastically, he is carried away by the miracle itself, which is not a sin to spice up with details about how Santa Claus will arrive on reindeer, climb into a pipe, or even appear in an unusual way like moving along a portal or using magic.
4. What if the child asked for something unrealistic to buy? For example, a live horse
- You can offer to reflect with the child - “Santa Claus takes care not only of the child himself, but also of the horse and the neighbors. And chooses what would still be appropriate for everyone. "
5. Who should choose a gift for the New Year, a child or an adult?
Better to ask the children. The easiest way is to write a good old letter to Santa Claus. From it we learn about the order.
6. How many gifts to give a child for the New Year?
It is good if there are funds for several presents, but you do not need to give too much choice to the baby. In the same letter to Santa Claus, ask for 1-2 things so as not to confuse the child with an abundance of choice. A great combination is 2 items chosen by the kid + 1 or 2 surprises from the parents. There was a case when a child said: "We have little money, but Santa Claus is rich, I will ask him for something huge," in this case it would be correct to write a letter on behalf of Santa Claus containing the following text:
"I read your wish, but I have a lot of children on the planet who are also waiting for gifts, so you can choose one thing."
I know stories in which children asked their parents to ask Santa Claus, for example, a house. The parents answered great:
“You know, you need to be ready for every big gift. And it takes time and our own efforts to prepare some of the gifts. We cannot always maintain order in our apartment, and the house needs even more strength. "
7. What to give if there are a lot of toys?
There is no such thing for a child. The renewal is important, not the amount of storage. Therefore, any psychologist will say that it is not so much the high cost of presents that matters, but their quantity. It is better to give 5 small things a month than 1 large one. For the New Year, there is a great technique - dividing days or segments of the day.
You can create multiple waves of emotion if you tell your child that he will receive the first gift in the morning under the tree, the second at lunch, and in the evening there is something special. It is important here that the most anticipated subject comes first - children do not have much patience and get upset easily. The structure of the holiday is as follows - the main object of desire, something interesting and different (sweets with a postcard, a comic book, a book), a bonus (one more toy is better, if there was a car, now a gun, if a doll, now a constructor). There should be no feeling of monotony.
8. The child was told that Santa Claus does not exist and he is not real: what to do?
- Option 1: “Santa Claus is a fabulous character, he can exist on holidays, but on other days he is not in the world”;
- Option 2: “Santa Claus is Saint Nicholas (it's true), he lives in heaven and tells the parents of good children what gifts to give;
- Option 3: "Santa Claus is real only one, he does not have time to meet with everyone, and therefore he has assistants who change into him."
Most psychologists are inclined to believe that it is not necessary to tell the truth. Childhood is the time for fairy tales. You shouldn't take it away, but if the child directly says that he does not believe, then say: “We create a fabulous atmosphere to make it fun. This is a tradition".
Once upon a time my son taught me an important lesson. I prepared for him, an 8-year-old, a cup with the logo from his then favorite TV series about inventors "Eureka". He saw a logo prepared for printing on my computer. When he found a cup under the pillow on St. Nicholas Day, he looked at me intently and asked - "is it you or St. Nicholas?" I realized that if I answered a lie, I would lose his trust. I was silent, collecting my thoughts. And Mishka suddenly says - "did Saint Nicholas inspire you?" - Yes, I said with joy. I told and tell my children that I love miracles and believe in them. And often something or someone higher and bright helps us become conductors of miracles and joy in the world. We can become conductors of kindness, beauty, and sincerity. And I propose to become such guides for acquaintances and strangers.
That's all. Now let's get ready for the happy moments. Holiday greetings!
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