Childfree are people who on their own and consciously decided not to have children. The concept of "childfree" appeared relatively recently, but since then the discussion and controversy around their worldview have not subsided. Most people simply do not understand and criticize them, others defend them, and still others do not care.
Childfree (English childfree - free from children; English childless by choice, voluntary childless - voluntarily childless) is a subculture and ideology characterized by a conscious unwillingness to have children.
Many myths and stereotypes associated with childfree are spread, which we will try to refute today.
Family without children on their own
1. Childfree impose their views on others
Many accuse childfree of promoting their views, appealing to the fact that they even have their own community. This is not a sect and these people are not interested in recruiting new members. Let's think sensibly: does it make sense for a person to convince another that a childless family is better?
In life, the opposite happens: childfree become an object for re-education by those who have children. That is why childfree is more comfortable communicating with like-minded people. However, like all people. It never occurs to anyone to organize rallies against the birth of children. Of course, there may be a couple of fanatics, but there are fanatics in every area of life. Many childfree people don't even advertise their position in front of friends and family, they just live the way they think is right.
2. Childfries hate children
Of course not. Most childfree treat children neutrally, and some with sympathy, and can even work in children's institutions as educators, teachers, child psychologists. The point is not hatred, but the fact that for some reason a person does not want to have his own children. There are also individuals showing aggression, but these can also be found among parents. In general, as a rule, childfree are not against children in general, but rather against parents who allow their children too much, regardless of the interests of society.
3. Infertile and psychologically unhealthy people do not have children
This is a completely unfounded statement. As a rule, the main argument in this case is that a healthy person always wants to have a child, he simply cannot but want children. But you must agree: the reproductive function should in no way determine the priorities in a person's life. None of us does something solely because we are able to do it.
For example, many can train hard and achieve high results in some kind of sport, but only a few do it. Why? - It all depends on the desire. This also applies to the birth of children: it is necessary that there is not only an opportunity, but also a desire. It is worth noting that the lack of desire does not mean that a person has a psychological problem. It's about making a conscious choice in life.
And there can be many reasons for making such a decision: from a desire to achieve high results in a career to an unwillingness to take responsibility. Someone wants to live only for themselves and are sure that the child will restrict his freedom. Someone does not want children, as this is an expensive pleasure, and buying a new gadget or traveling to another continent seems like the best investment. Someone is not sure that they will become a good parent, and wants to realize themselves in another area of life. Behavior that is different from generally accepted is not a mental disorder.
It is better that only those who really want it give birth to a child.
4. They are lonely, so they have no one to have a child with
People who condemn childfree like to say: “You just didn't have a normal guy!”... Here, too, one can argue, since most childfree are quite happy in family life, and in such a family both spouses do not want to have a child.
5. Childfree's goal is to destroy the human race
This is really funny, because 90% of people on the entire planet become parents. The earth is not in danger of extinction, even if the number of childfree increases annually, their percentage will still be insignificant. So this is not the most successful plan to exterminate humanity.
6. Children are the meaning of life, so it is empty for childfree
Everyone has their own meaning of life. And what is it? No one has yet been able to answer this question. If you think that your destiny is to give birth to a child and raise him as a good person, this does not mean that this should be so for everyone.
Some find their purpose in work, others - in their own “I”. Someone in improving the world, someone in saving other people's lives and helping those in need. And if they have no children, then their life cannot be called meaningless. To each his own.
7. Childfree is a new fashion trend
This name, indeed, appeared relatively recently - in the twentieth century. However, this does not mean that there were no such people before. It's just that in the old days, freedom of choice was limited by a large number of conventions - from church prohibitions to the lack of contraception. But personal desire did not matter.
Previously, there were also those who did not want to have children. This was helped by folk methods for terminating pregnancy. It was easier for the rich: their children were surrounded by so many nannies who allowed their mothers not to touch their children. All this suggests that there were childfree then.
8. Their lot is loneliness in old age
Having children cannot guarantee that you will not experience loneliness in old age. There may be many reasons for this. Everyone can expect loneliness in old age, regardless of whether they have children or not.
A lonely old age awaits all childfree, and there will be no one to serve them a glass of water on his deathbed.
In response to such a statement, childfree often recall an anecdote: “A man lived a long life, raised children, put all his strength on them, with the thought that in old age he would give someone a glass of water. The time has come for him to die, all his family gathered around - his wife, children, grandchildren. The peasant lies and thinks: "And I don't feel like drinking ...".
9. A woman who does not want to have children is unnatural
A man who does not have children is less susceptible to judgment and criticism. But a woman who can have children, but does not want - this is unnatural. A woman is obliged to have children. A man can make a choice in favor of a career, few will reproach him, but a woman will be condemned by all and sundry.
One must finally understand: giving birth is not an obligation, but only a desire and opportunity. In the absence of the desire to have children, there is nothing unnatural for either men or women.
10. Childfree is forever
It is common for a person to change under the influence of external factors and to revise their beliefs from the perspective of new experience. Of course, there is a certain percentage of principled people who make a decision once and for all. But the average person may change interests, political views, religious confessions during his life, which means that he cannot be denied the opportunity to rethink his life position.
Agree: childfree is not as scary as many people say about them. And to conduct a discussion and argue about whether everyone needs to have children, you can endlessly and to no avail, but we will never find an answer. It is important just to understand that this is a personal choice of each person, and not to condemn this choice. This will be a manifestation of tolerance.
