When a child cries, a mother's heart bleeds. What should be the mom's reaction to crying? And is it true that children are always capricious and cry only at bad mothers?
Well-known blogger and mother of three “difficult” children Jordan Harrell shares with his readers a touching story that helps to look at baby crying from a different angle. She is convinced that crying is the only way children can communicate with adults. The most important thing is to react to it correctly.
Here's what Jordan Harrell tells other mums about:
First colic, then teething, then allergic reactions. All day and night my child was bursting with crying. I understood that a little more - and I would have to drink sedatives, I felt that I was going crazy. It seemed to me that I could no longer endure sobbing, and I begged my little one to shut up even for a minute.
Sometimes, when my nerves could not stand at all, I roared in unison with my child, and it was not clear who would get tired first. I was convinced that I was the worst mother in the world, because all three of my children behaved the same in infancy.
Everything changed in an instant when I remembered my own mother's story.
When my brother Justin was born, my mother was still very young. He, too, was a “difficult” child, he was constantly capricious and did not let his mother leave him a single step. It was very difficult to calm him down and put him to bed.
Sound familiar, isn't it?
One Sunday morning during a church service, Justin had another tantrum. Mom had to go outside to calm him down. In the churchyard, she met a woman in whose arms a baby was sleeping peacefully, about the same age as Justin. And then my mother asked that woman what her secret was, why her child was so calm.
The woman smiled sadly and said that she was not the boy's mother. Before she adopted him, the baby cried continuously for several months. But no one paid attention to his cry, and in the end he fell silent. He cried for too long, and now he almost never cries.
“What's your secret? Why is he so calm? ”My mother asked.
“This is not my own son, I am his adoptive mother. He spent the first few months of his life crying nonstop, and his crying was always unanswered. He cried for too long, and then stopped and now he almost never cries. "
After this story, something changed in me. No matter how hard it was for me, no matter how many sleepless nights I sat near the crib, I remembered the words of this woman and reminded myself: your baby's crying is good. This means that my son believes me, he calls me and knows that I will definitely come.
Mothers of "difficult" children, be grateful to them for crying.
They don't cry because you are a bad mom.
They cry because you are good
