If earlier I constantly checked the tables of the child's development, now I know that this is not the main thing. My story is about how I came to this conclusion and why a child may not develop according to the schedule from the child development tables.
By two months, the child should be able to independently hold his head, at five - roll over, at six - sit, at seven - crawl. At one year old, the child should start walking and talking. But we didn't have all of this. At first, I was very worried, but then I realized the main thing: my child is not a robot, he should not grow and develop according to tables and diagrams with certain standards. And I stopped constantly monitoring deviations from generally accepted norms.
Breastfeeding or start feeding at 4 months
Our problems began at 4 months, when at the next examination, the pediatrician noted a lack of weight. The first months of breastfeeding, everything was fine: the baby gained the required pounds without any problems. But then something went wrong, and in weight we fell a little behind the norm. The doctor suggested starting the introduction of complementary foods, for example, cottage cheese.
But I was in no hurry to listen to her advice, but turned to a GW specialist. It was from her that I learned that the main thing is not how much the child is gaining per month, but how he looks and how he feels. Does he have wrinkles on the arms and legs, are his cheeks sagging, are there any signs that the child is hungry and malnourished, is he capricious, is there any signs of weakness, malnutrition, is the baby behaving anxiously or absolutely calm ? After her words, I calmed down and stopped comparing the weight of my son with the tables. By the way, I still have him tall and thin, and this is completely normal, just such a physique.
"And at 6 months we were already standing on our legs ..."
All mothers love to talk about the achievements of their children. The first months after giving birth, I continued to communicate in social networks with girls from the hospital. Our babies were born almost simultaneously, with a difference of just 1-2 days. It would seem that they should have developed on a par. But no. Each mother told incredible stories about her child, in which I, young and inexperienced, for some reason believed. For example, that a child at six months can stand on his own legs. At this age, mine was just beginning to make the first fruitless attempts to sit down. And I went with him to a neurologist.
The doctor was recommended to me by good friends, so I had no reason not to trust him. He agreed that starting to hold the head at 3 months and not being able to sit down by 6 is a slight deviation from the norm. But given the history of my pregnancy and childbirth, there is nothing to worry about. “Your baby is completely healthy, he just has his own development schedule,” the doctor reassured me. This story taught me to nod in agreement and respond to any, even the most incredible, stories about the success of other children of our age with the standard phrase “mine too”.
Can't draw out a word
Until a year old, my child began to pronounce individual syllables and some simple words such as "mom" and "dad". He even learned to speak the name of our dog almost immediately. And then he suddenly fell silent, you can't get a word out. And I had to go to a neurologist with my son again. Against the background of all the experiences, I began to quietly hate all the mothers who constantly bragged about the skills of their children.
The doctor prescribed us several tests and an EEG, based on the results of which he concluded: the child is healthy, even though he does not speak at two and a half years.
The next in line was the psychologist. We began to worry, suddenly it was our fault that our son suddenly fell silent, maybe we scared him with something or somehow harmed the fragile child's psyche. But the psychologist did not find any deviations in our child either: he normally reacts to everything, but in his own language, understandable only to him.
And then we turned to a speech therapist and she reassured us a little: “It's okay that a child at your age does not speak, up to three years old this is normal. Come back later. ” But this “later” did not come: by the age of three, our son spoke himself.
The table is just a guide
Indeed, if every child grows and develops in its own way, then why do we need all these development charts by months, norms and skills? Why write down weight and height standards and make long lists of children's skills and abilities by month? Is it really just to make inexperienced moms panic for any reason?
In fact, any table is just a guideline, the main purpose of which is to identify in time obvious violations and abnormalities in a child that require medical intervention.
It is good if the table does not indicate specific numbers, but a time period. For example, from a month to three, a child must learn to hold his head on his own, from a month to two - smile, and from three and a half to six - turn over. With such a table, mom will not worry that her five-month-old baby is not tumbling on the crib. He has a little more time left to practice this skill properly.
In addition, development charts help a young mother understand what exactly she should do with her child at a certain period. For example, the table indicates that by the age of two months, the child should be able to follow objects moving horizontally in front of him. Mom takes the rattle and begins to drive it in front of the baby's eyes. The child is practicing a new skill!
Of course, the mother can decide for herself how to develop the child and what games to play with him. But age tables were compiled by experienced doctors and indicate the time when one or another part of the brain is activated in a child. And it is during this period that the child is most predisposed to acquire this or that skill. So why not take advantage of this tip?
If you are worried about your child's development and notice that it is noticeably behind schedule, see your doctor. The main thing is that you trust this specialist. You can show your child to several independent doctors. If the problem is confirmed, you will be prescribed an examination and treatment. But, most likely, your worries will be in vain. It's just that a mother needs to hear the opinion of an authoritative person - then all fears and worries pass and we finally stop worrying and begin to accept our children as they are. And it doesn't matter that they are developing off schedule.
