Mistakes of the older generation in raising a baby, which can undermine parental authority. Advice to grandparents on how to negotiate with their children about raising grandchildren.
Raising a child is a difficult task in which all family members take part, and grandparents "try" most of all. Out of the best intentions, the older generation intervenes in the life of a young family, imposing their opinions on how to raise children, how to raise, care for, feed, dress ... and the behavior of the younger generation.
Let's try to make out the most common mistakes of elders in communicating with grandchildren.
Remind parents of their own mistakes
Often, grandparents rush to protect their grandchildren, not even suspecting what mistake they are making in doing so. For example, a mother has been trying for an hour to make her daughter sit down for lessons, when suddenly a grandmother appears with the words: "Oh, you think, you yourself studied at school from under the stick."
This behavior of the elders will convince the child even more that he is right. The little person will consider his behavior to be the norm.
Introduce religion ahead of time
Most people turn to faith consciously as they grow up and gain life experience. What to believe is a personal choice of everyone, the main thing is not to impose your beliefs on other people, especially grandchildren. Coercion to go to church will cause nothing but hostility in a child. Perhaps the grandchildren themselves will want to go to church with you when they grow up and become interested in the creation of the world.
Break parental rules
Usually grandparents allow what mom and dad forbade. For example, my mother does not allow riding on carousels in the yard, considering them too dangerous.
The kind grandmother lets the child go to the dangerous carousel with the words: "Just don't tell your mother." The negative consequences of the grandmother's act are obvious. First, the child will understand that it is possible and necessary to deceive parents, even if his beloved grandmother sets an example for him. And secondly, if the carousel is really malfunctioning, the child could be seriously injured.
To impose ideas about the appearance of children
"Who do you look like! What they got on you! “- such statements are often heard by children from the older generation. Of course, grandparents are entitled to their own opinions. But it is one thing to express your point of view and quite another to impose your ideas about fashion and beauty.
Use kids as free labor
Of course, the elderly need help with the housework. However, sometimes it turns into a heavy duty for the grandchildren. With the help of reproaches and accusations of heartlessness, some force children to work in their homesteads, instead of simply negotiating with them. Indeed, with the right approach, the child simply cannot refuse his beloved grandmother or grandfather.
These rules will help the older generation avoid unnecessary conflicts with their own children about raising grandchildren. After all, no matter how strong the love of grandparents is, they should not forget that children have parents, and the last word is with them.
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