“You’re a mother or not, you don’t hear, your child is crying ...”

"You are a mother - go to the child and calm him down." Should the father be involved in caring for the baby? Excerpts from the diary of a young mother.

Who has not faced such a situation: in the evening you and your husband are sitting at the TV, but suddenly your child woke up and started crying. Who will run to him? Are you or your husband? I think that in most families the woman will be the first to react. The case is banal, but it says a lot: about the relationship to each other, to the child, about the sense of responsibility. This is what I want to talk about today, or rather, to provide excerpts from my diary, where I entered personal observations.

20 November

We were discharged from the hospital. Hooray! Dad arranged a grand reception for us: he decorated the room with balloons and bought a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. All day I honestly tried to help me with the child. At night, for the third time, we were awakened by a child crying. I jumped up, ran to the bed, took the baby in my arms and went into another room, and my husband walked beside us, then closed the bedroom door and safely continued his dream.

December 15th

We are already a month old. During the day, our little one is calm, I walk a lot with him, he sleeps well. But at night it starts ... Yesterday I just could not get up to Ilya. My husband pushes me in the side and says: “My son is awake. Go to him, he is calling mom. " I got up in silence and went to rock the child.

January 1st

Today is New Year. Yesterday we sat at the table for a while, celebrated the holiday. We went to bed late. As soon as we fell asleep, the sound of the firecracker woke Ilya, he began to cry. I thought that at least in honor of the New Year, my spouse would take care of the baby, make me a gift so that I could finally get some sleep. But that was not the case: "The little one is crying, go to him!" I asked Sergei to rock the baby, to which he said to me: “He will not calm down with me. You're doing better. " Reluctantly she got up, changed Ilya's diaper, he fell asleep quickly.

January 2

I decided to put the question bluntly: how to share responsibilities in relation to our child, whether the father should take part in raising the baby. My husband first tried to make excuses: “I’m at work all day, I need to get enough sleep, but you stay at home, you can lie down during the day”. I offered him at least one day off to spend with the child without me, he agreed to a few hours. When I came home from a friend, everything was calm: the baby slept with his dad on a disassembled sofa, used diapers, unwashed bottles with the remains of the mixture, scattered rattles lay around.

When my husband woke up, he said that now he realized how difficult it was for me to look after the child, to keep the apartment in order, and to cook lunches and dinners. We agreed to take turns to get up to Ilya at night, however, I still cannot sleep when my child is crying, but I am pleased that Sergei is taking part in caring for our common son.

7 july

Yesterday I met my school friend, she was walking in the yard with a stroller. As always, the conversation turned to husbands. I told her how I managed to re-educate mine. She, with a sigh, said with resentment in her voice: "And my principal refuses to take care of his daughter, he says that his business is to earn money, to support a family, and a woman's lot is to be a nanny." It angered me to the depths of my soul: before the decree, my friend plowed two jobs and earned more than her husband. And now she works part-time on the "remote".

24 August

Yesterday my mother arrived, she is happy to babysit her grandson, and I, seizing the moment, ran to my girls to work. “How are you? Do you manage? Does your husband help? " A colleague asked. "Yes, everything seems to be good, to the best of my strength and capabilities." - And mine told me the other day: “I work hard all day, but you, while sitting on maternity leave, could not even prepare your son for kindergarten: he speaks badly at two years old, does not ask for a pot, does not know how to eat with a spoon - what kind of mother are you ?! "

A woman can withstand a lot, she has strong patience, but such statements deeply hurt her, who gives all her strength to caring for a child.