anonymously, about a boy, 1 year old
Good day! My child (3.5 years old) does not adequately respond to other children on the playground, in the park, in the hospital - he can come up and hit for no reason. How do you advise us to respond to this behavior?
Hello, here you must definitely figure out why your child is showing aggression. After all, the main reasons for children's aggression are indifference and criticism from parents, the use of physical punishment and insults in education. Also, young children very often copy characters from famous cartoons and films. Sometimes parents do not notice the beginnings of aggressive manifestations in their children (children at an early age bite their parents or throw objects when they are angry). And by about three years, such aggression can be redirected to peers.
Basically, children are in conflict in order to prove themselves, to show their dominance, and some simply do not know how to communicate. Therefore, they can hit on the head with a toy, bite, push. Later, as they grow up, they will, of course, learn to control themselves and their emotions, as well as internalize social norms.
What to do? It is very good if the parents turn out to be wise and offer the child other ways to express their state at the moment of aggression: you can beat the pillow, tear the paper, play games where the child will either fight with a negative character, or portray him. If this is not done, then the emotion will "go inside" and subsequently manifest itself in the form of stubbornness and disobedience.
If you still did not manage to switch the baby and found him in a situation where he hits the child, try to intercept the blow, stop the child's hand. Explain to him that the other will be hurt and he will cry. If the blow has already happened, tell the child that it hurt, show how upset he was and cried. It is necessary not only to say that you cannot fight, but to explain why (because it hurts, it is unpleasant).
Offer your child another way out of the situation: what did you want to ask him? This can be done with words, not by fighting. If your child pushes, beats just like that, show how you can interact: don't hit, but hug, stroke, take by the handle, lightly touch. Typically, small children stop and begin to gently pat another's head. If your kid continues to fight, take pity on the offended child, and take yours away. Take it in your arms and carry it to a distance of several meters from the offended. It is necessary to show that in this way the game will not stick together, that children who fight play independently.
Aggressiveness in children usually builds up throughout preschool age and decreases only towards the first grade. Psychologists associate this with the fact that by this age the child already knows how to resolve conflicts in a different way, he already has the experience of "letting off steam" in play situations. All the best!
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