An age crisis is an integral part of every child's growing up. Gradually developing, the baby becomes more familiar with the world around him and his mental perception changes. The crisis should not be perceived as something negative. In psychology, this term means a transition to something new, a change in the understanding of the world to a more adult one.
Several stages of children's crises have long been identified - one year, three years, five years, seven and, finally, adolescence. All these age categories are most susceptible to changes in the psyche, and each child goes through these stages in different ways. The task of the parents is to help the child overcome them.
Stages of psychological maturation
The earliest crisis in a child begins at the age of one year. It is at this time that the baby begins to actively explore the world. He already crawls, walks and wants to study literally every subject. The child does not yet understand that some things can be dangerous and does not distinguish them from others. He would love to play with a power outlet or a hot iron.
Parents should be as attentive as possible during this period of a child's life. There is no need to physically punish him, because the baby does not understand why there are so many restrictions around. Calmly give the child the information in the form of a game.
The best option to prevent interest in dangerous objects is not to let the child out of sight.
At three years old, the baby is already beginning to identify himself, to understand that he is a separate, independent person.... He wants to do everything himself, including adult work. Do not hinder him in this, let the child be an adult a little.
Ask him to wash the dishes, remove the toys. Children of this age are willing and happy to provide any help. Try not to impose many prohibitions, it is better to offer a choice, so the child will feel that he is trusted.
Five years is a very difficult stage. There are several age characteristics of this period:
- Imitation of adults
- Emotional behavior management
- Interest in new hobbies and interests
- The desire to communicate with peers
- Rapid character formation
The child develops very quickly and often finds it difficult to cope with it.
We recommend watching the video of the seminar of the famous psychologist Satya Das on the upbringing of five-year-old children:
Symptoms and causes of the crisis
A sharp change in the baby's behavior, his reaction to the words or actions of adults is the first and most obvious sign of a transition to a new stage of development. At this age, observing the parents, the child wants to be as similar to them as possible. Probably everyone remembers how in childhood they wanted to grow up faster. But it does not work out quickly to grow up, and the child begins to get nervous because of this and close in himself.
The baby's brain is actively developing, he already knows what it means to fantasize. Children are happy to invent imaginary friends for themselves, write different stories. They successfully copy the demeanor of mom and dad, reshape their facial expressions, gait, speech. The age of 5 is also characterized by a love of eavesdropping and peeping, the child grows curiosity about the world around him.
At the onset of the crisis, the child becomes isolated, he no longer really wants to share his successes and failures with adults. The baby has different fears, ranging from the fear of the dark and ending with the death of loved ones. During this period, children are extremely nervous and unsure of themselves, they are shy of strangers, afraid to start communicating with them. They all the time think that they will not like an adult. Sometimes the child is afraid of the most ordinary things.
The baby's behavior changes in a completely opposite direction. A previously complaisant child becomes uncontrollable, he does not obey, shows aggression. Children can constantly whine, demanding something from their parents, cry, throw uncontrollable tantrums. Irritability, anger very quickly replace a good mood. Going through a crisis, children get very tired and many parents do not know what to do to return everything to square one.
What to do for parents: advice from psychologists
You can understand the parents who first faced a crisis of 5 years with a child. Confusion, even fear, is the main emotion at first. However, growing up is inevitable, and often parents, without realizing this, believe that the child is simply manipulating them. What needs to be done so that the baby can comfortably overcome the difficult stage?
Provide your child with a calm environment. In families where the parents themselves constantly swear, it will be morally difficult for the child to cope with his internal problems. Try to bring him into conversation, understand what is wrong, what worries him. Many children do not immediately, but make contact and begin to trust their parents with their secrets and fears. Think about how to calm the child and offer a joint solution to the issue.
Doctor Komarovsky gives some tips on how to behave in case of a child's tantrums:
Show attention to the baby, always be interested in him, his success. Encourage him to help around the house by explaining why it is important to keep clean. A calm explanation is the best way to make the child understand what the simplest responsibilities are for. A very good result is given by a story about your own successes. Share them with your child, you can also tell about your fears.
Five years is no longer a crumb to be followed everywhere. Give your baby some freedom of action, show him that he can already be independent. If necessary, communicate with him as an adult, children appreciate it very much. Always support him and do not scold him for mistakes. Tackling a difficult task and failing to cope, the kid himself will understand that in vain he did not heed the advice.
Actions "prohibited"
Often, parents who are faced with a child's crisis begin to instantly introduce a lot of taboos and restrictions, shout, get upset, and take offense. This should never be done. It is difficult in some situations to maintain self-control, but it is still easier for an adult than for a child with little experience. With the correct reaction of adults to whims and tantrums, the crisis will not last for a long time.
You don't need to show your child your own aggression and anger at his actions, get lost and panic during a tantrum. React calmly, sit down and just wait for the child to calm down. Having lost a violent viewer, children quickly come to their senses. After that, you can talk together and figure out the reason for the whims.
Remember, if you behave as aggressively as the baby, his behavior will only get worse.
Do not control the child everywhere and everywhere, try to overpower yourself and stop teaching him... A good option would be to come up with a responsibility together, which from now on will only be performed by the child.... For example, water the flowers. Explain that if they are not watered, they will wither. Buying a pet is also a huge contribution to the development of independence in children.
We advise you to watch the program of Dr. Komarovsky about naughty children.
