You can treat surrogate mothers in different ways: someone condemns them, and someone thanks them. But one thing is indisputable - without such women, many children could never be born. In difficult cases of infertility, when a woman cannot bear her child because of the threat to her life, only a surrogate mother can come to the rescue.
What it is?
Surrogacy is a type of assisted reproductive technology. There are oocyte donors, and there are sperm donors - both help a couple to conceive a baby if there are factors of female or male infertility. There are also surrogate mothers who take care of bearing and giving birth to a baby. By blood and genetic parameters, it will not be native to her, but to those who provide their germ cells for IVF - an egg and sperm.
The indications for the program of artificial insemination with the participation of a surrogate mother are quite simple and understandable - all cases of female infertility, in which there is no possibility of getting pregnant, as well as carrying a fetus and giving birth to it. Both married couples and single men and women who do not have a permanent sexual partner can use the help of a surrogate mother.
Everything happens as in conventional IVF: the egg is fertilized in a test tube or by the ICSI method, and the grown embryos are transferred not into the uterine cavity of the owner of the egg, but into the uterus of another woman who has undergone preliminary hormonal stimulation to synchronize menstrual cycles. If everything goes well, then pregnancy begins. But the baby, whom the woman will carry under her heart, will not be her family. He will have biological parents - he will look like them, from them he will take character traits and hobbies, intelligence and even talents.
WHO recommends replacing the somewhat disparaging definition of "surrogate mother" with the concept of "gestational courier" - it is more consistent with the essence of what is happening. And it is completely indecent to call a surrogate mother an "incubator".
According to the legislation in force in Russia since 2012, women (gestational couriers) are strictly prohibited from simultaneously donating an egg (oocyte) in order to avoid situations when the courier will carry a child that is dear to him by blood. The laws quite strictly regulate the relationship - a surrogate mother under no circumstances can claim the rights to the baby she gives birth to. Even in her womb, he is considered the biological child of other people, and it is they who, together with the doctor, can make all decisions regarding the course of pregnancy and childbirth.
Requirements for the candidate
For infertile couples and single parents, surrogate mother is the solution to the problem of infertility. She is an important person who will help fulfill the long-cherished dream of having children. For a gestational courier, “customers” are a way to improve their financial situation, because any work must be paid.
There are, of course, countries where surrogacy based on monetary relations is prohibited, and this is regarded as human trafficking. There, it can only be allowed on a voluntary and free basis (for example, in the UK), and only close relatives or friends who sincerely want to help without demanding anything in return act as gestational couriers in such circumstances.
In Russia, the state program to support demographic measures, which includes a program to support reproductive technologies for couples diagnosed with infertility, does not prohibit the use of gestational couriers on a contractual basis.
It is possible to become a surrogate mother only if the woman fully complies with the requirements set forth by the Order of the Ministry of Health No. 107n. These requirements should not be considered overstated, even if, at first glance, such a thought creeps in. Upon closer examination, it becomes clear why the criteria are exactly like this.
Reproductive age
This concept includes a range from 18 to 42-43 years, however, for a surrogate mother, the restrictions are more stringent: the age of a woman at the time of concluding a contract with future biological parents should be from 20 to 35 years.
Having at least one child of your own
It is important that the baby is naturally conceived, nurtured and born as a result of natural childbirth. At the same time, a woman can be married, and then a written and notarized consent of her husband to participate in the surrogacy program will be a prerequisite.
If the candidate is not married, divorced, or in a civil marriage, then the consent of the man is not required.
Excellent health
The selection of candidates is quite thorough. A woman should not have any chronic diseases, pathologies of the reproductive system, mental ailments and deviations, as well as bad habits. The psychiatrist additionally gives an opinion on the sanity and adequacy of the candidate (about 15% of those who wish, for example, are eliminated at this stage). The narcologist not only checks whether the candidate has ever been registered with a dispensary, but also conducts a large number of tests for traces of prohibited and psychotropic substances.
Healthy genetics
A woman should definitely get admission to the program from a geneticist. Despite the fact that its biological material is not used for artificial insemination, which means that DNA is not passed on to the child, the geneticist must be sure that no genetic abnormalities have developed. There are cases when a surrogate mother during pregnancy first developed schizophrenia and epilepsy.
No criminal record
A surrogate mother must provide not only a certificate of no criminal record, even if canceled, but also take a certificate stating that she does not pass as a suspect in any criminal or administrative case, is not under investigation.
All criteria are important, but the most "laborious" will be the medical board. You will have to pass a huge number of tests, pass a large number of tests, obtain written permits for participation in the program from all medical specialists: cardiologist, gynecologist, ophthalmologist, otolaryngologist, dermatologist, venereologist, psychiatrist, narcologist, surgeon, therapist, neurologist.
Most Russian clinics and centers try to select for participation in the program only women who have Russian citizenship, as well as those with positive blood Rh factor.
Required documents
In order to receive a referral for examination, a woman needs to provide the following documents to the agency or clinic with which she plans to cooperate:
- Russian passport (copy of all pages);
- SNILS;
- compulsory health insurance policy;
- birth certificate of your child (copy);
- marriage or divorce certificate (for those who have never been married, a certificate from the registry office about the absence of records in acts of civil status is required).
Where to go?
You can, of course, advertise on the Internet, but this is not the best way out, because not only biological parents should be protected from fraud, but also the woman herself - the gestational courier. Only a reputable agency or clinic can ensure the legal accuracy and transparency of the transaction. Finding the agency closest to home for reproductive mediation will not be difficult - there are many official sites of such organizations on the Internet.
The agency maintains its own database of donors and surrogate mothers. Leading IVF clinics cooperate with the largest agencies, because the larger the chosen intermediary, the faster a woman will be able to find “customers” for herself.
To begin with, you can limit yourself to submitting a questionnaire on the agency's website. It indicates the basic data: age, height, weight, having children, marital status, reasons why a woman wants to become a gestational courier. If this information meets the requirements, the woman will be called back and invited to the office with the above documents. Women who do not have children of their own are not considered as candidates, as well as women after a caesarean section.
The cost of a medical examination can be paid both by the agency and by the woman herself (subject to a guarantee of the return of the funds spent upon concluding the contract). If all the medical reports are in order, the woman is entered into the surrogate mothers database. As soon as there is a couple or a lonely infertile patient who has liked this particular surrogate mother, a representative of the agency contacts the woman.
Usually the lawyers of such companies take over the execution of the contract between the woman and the future biological parents. At the request of the latter, a separate person can be assigned who will be an intermediary between the surrogate mother and the biological parents, if the latter, for some reason, would like to limit communication with the gestational courier until the birth of the child. Then the pregnancy will proceed with a curator who, on behalf of the biological parents, will pay the running costs of the pregnant woman and closely monitor that the terms of the contract are not violated by either party.
Duties and rights
A surrogate mother has the right to count on the decency and honesty of the baby's biological parents, on respect for her human dignity. She also has the right to monthly payments: salary, compensation for all expenses associated with pregnancy and childbirth.
The gestational courier has every right to ask for an advance payment: no more than 10-15% of the amount of the fee. Also, a woman may ask to rent a house for her during pregnancy, in order to keep the fact a secret, for example, from her own children.
A gestational courier may well provide his services for free if he sees fit, as well as replace the financial fee with another option, for example, asking her to buy her an apartment or a car after the baby is born. A surrogate mother has the right to demand that the biological parents provide her with everything necessary for the successful bearing of an infant: vitamins, qualified medical supervision, medicines prescribed by a doctor.
Some people manage to persuade biological parents to pay for the stay while carrying a fetus at the resort, if the attending physician does not mind, because the sea air and the sun's rays are useful, first of all, for the unborn child.
A surrogate mother can legally receive maternity benefits at the place of work when she goes on maternity leave and after she has given birth.
But after three months, when the sick leave ends, she is obliged to return to her main job, since she is not entitled to parental leave, as well as social benefits that the state gives to families with children.
Now about what gestational couriers are not entitled to. A woman cannot violate the doctor's recommendations, since it is harmful to the baby's health, skip taking medications, take a frivolous attitude towards diet and daily routine. She has no right to smoke or drink while carrying someone else's child. She cannot violate the legal status of genetic parents, appropriate the child for herself, blackmail "customers" with abortion, demanding changes in the terms of the contract.
All conditions must be clearly spelled out in the contract. To protect the interests of the surrogate mother, it is important to introduce a clause that would outline the procedure in case something happens to the genetic parents during her pregnancy (death, divorce).
The parties must clearly understand what will happen to the child in this case. The more detailed the contract is, the better protected all interested parties will be.
Service cost
There is no single price for surrogacy - it is not regulated by the state in any way. A couple cannot do IVF with the participation of a surrogate mother, having paid for her services with the help of an IVF quota. All costs will be borne exclusively by the "customers".
The amount of the fee that you can count on depends on the region and the standard of living in it, on competition (the larger the agency's database of surrogate mothers, the less they will be able to earn). Statistics for 2018 show that the most average amount of the fee is an amount in the range of 1.5-2 million rubles. The link to the region is very significant: in Siberia, for example, surrogate mothers rarely receive even 1.5 million (the average cost there is 800 thousand rubles, and in Moscow or St. Petersburg you can "earn" up to 3 million - depending on the specific individual agreement ).
This amount is a fee that is paid after the birth of the child. The biological parents must pay for diagnostics, tests, and medications as needed. Also in Russia there is a practice of a monthly "salary" for a gestational courier: on average, it ranges from 25 to 50 thousand rubles per month.
A woman can count on the first "salary" from the moment pregnancy is established. The fee is paid after childbirth, even if it is premature.
The most paid gestational couriers are in the United States, where fees are almost three times higher than Russian ones. In Ukraine and Belarus, prices are the lowest - a woman does not receive more than 15 thousand dollars for her services.
Useful Tips
When deciding whether to become a surrogate mother, a woman must answer honestly to herself the main question: can she, after 9 months of pregnancy, be able to part with the baby, to which she is already accustomed, without problems and worries.
It is also worth understanding that moral and spiritual problems are possible, because it is not for nothing that surrogate motherhood is condemned and considered immoral by almost all religions in the world, with the exception of Buddhism and Judaism, and even those with great restrictions. From their point of view, what happens between the biological parents of the baby and the woman who bore him and gave birth to him is nothing more than the devaluation of eternal values: the inviolability of the family, the mystery of the birth of life and the happiness of motherhood, since all this becomes the subject of sale and purchase ...
Before a decisive step, you need to weigh the pros and cons and only then make a final decision. After the conclusion of the contract, it will no longer be possible to change it, or the forfeit may amount to such an amount that it will be easier to agree to all the conditions of the second party.
Any violation of agreements and simply spoiled relations with biological parents at any stage may lead to the fact that your name, surname and other data, along with a description of claims against you, will be included in the so-called "black list".
There are also “black lists” of biological parents, but it is rather difficult to find the right person in them. Sometimes the surrogate mother does not even know the contact details of her "customers", especially if the planning and pregnancy proceeds with a curator. Nevertheless, a woman must be ready for fraud: on specialized forums, you can find reviews that biological parents did not pay, left, and disappeared with the child. You can also run into oppressive "customers" who, with the help of cameras and bodyguards, will track every step of the pregnant woman, every meeting and every purchase.
Married women who want to improve the financial situation of the family in this way should be prepared that the venture may end in divorce, because not every man will agree to his wife's participation in the program, and not every husband will be "happy" after her birth with such a monetary increase.
For information on how to become a surrogate mother, see the next video.
