Child development

Good manners, or 13 main rules of etiquette at the table for a child

The educational process and the entry of children into society are multifaceted and involve many nuances that parents should remember. For example, table etiquette is an important part of a child's socialization.

The instilling of the foundations of correct "drinking" behavior should begin in early childhood, only in this case cultural skills will become a habit and, to some extent, a natural personality trait, first of a preschooler, and then of a schoolchild.

However, parents who are dealing with the problem of instilling in their child the rules of etiquette at the table should take into account that their child perceives adult habits as a model of behavior. Hence, it is important to follow your own manners, otherwise all efforts will be in vain.

Apple from apple tree

To accustom the child to the correct behavior at the table is the task of mom and dad, and not of teachers in a preschool educational institution. When the baby begins to "eat" together with adults, it is the latter who should instill in him the correct manners.

The best educational method is own etiquette. If the household themselves behave at the meal with dignity, then, most likely, the child will eventually begin to perceive the rules of behavior at the table as a completely natural act.

Adequate food intake involves not just eating quietly and using the necessary cutlery, but, first of all, the child's ability to:

  • eat without indulging in food;
  • do not slurp;
  • do not swing in a chair;
  • don't laugh out loud;
  • do not push, etc.

Surely every kid at an early age was fond of one of the above, perplexing guests or annoying parents. Adults should be persistent in teaching the child and point out the wrong behavior.

Should you hurry?

A child of a year or a half is not yet able to hear parental requests the first time, to understand and change his behavior. In addition, during this age period, children are not able to eat accurately due to their physical characteristics - tiny fingers are so awkward that they cannot send the contents of a spoon into their mouth without much loss.

That is why one should mentally prepare for the fact that neat breakfasts are still far away, and on the table there will certainly be spilled porridge, spilled soup and splashed jelly. Only regular training will help you to confidently wield cutlery after a while.

However, at the same time, the child needs to be explained elementary rules, such as those that one cannot throw porridge, knock on a bowl of soup with a spoon and pour juice on the floor. Behavioral norms are laid down in early childhood, so such explanations should not be considered a waste of time.

So that the child does not indulge in food and cutlery, it is necessary to take a separate time for play activities: buy plasticine mass, safe paints for fingers. This will allow to realize the natural desire of kids to play.

It's one thing if the problem of sloppy dinners lies in imperfect fine motor skills - you should not rush things, everything has its time. But if a child deliberately hooligan at the table in order to attract parental attention, then it is necessary to react.

Children may not yet understand everything, but they are able to understand the emotional state of their parents. Therefore, mother can and should be told that bad behavior upsets her, since she cooked delicious porridge especially for her beloved son (daughter).

When to start etiquette lessons?

Etiquette and rules of conduct at the table are an important point of growing up a child. However, you need to decide at what age you can start targeted learning.

Usually, experts call a period of 18 months when a child begins to actively imitate adults, diligently copying all their actions. In addition, it is at this age that babies are already familiar with cutlery and more or less dexterously wield them.

All these opportunities must be used. First of all, you should start with yourself, getting rid of the habit of drinking milk from a bag or mineral water from a bottle.

And, of course, it should be understood that the principles of table behavior for children should be as simple as possible and correspond to age and individual characteristics. For example, it is stupid to demand that a two-year-old be able to use a knife.

Play activity is the most important method of teaching a child to "table" etiquette. Coming up with a "solemn reception in the royal palace" (with the participation of dolls), you can unobtrusively introduce the baby to the basic rules - both at a party and at home.

Preschool etiquette

So, the age from 1.5 to 5 years is an ideal period for the formation of many habits, including such useful ones as table etiquette. A game will come to the rescue: in dolls that have dinner, in a teddy bear that goes to visit. And when the child grows up a little, he will be able to master other skills:

  • washing pens before eating. Before breakfast, lunch and dinner, the mother needs to go to the bathroom with her child and carry out obligatory water procedures;
  • eating at the table. You should not teach your baby to eat in front of the TV or computer. Sit down with your child at the table in the kitchen or living room so that he can feel the "importance of the moment";
  • if a very small child needs bibs and bibs, then as they grow up, it is worth switching to cloth napkins. First, it will keep your clothes clean. Secondly, it will be a good start for future restaurant visits;
  • taking food seriously. The child should not be allowed to play with food. Calmly and consistently explain why it is impossible to behave this way, how upset it is for mom that her work is not appreciated;
  • handling of cutlery. A five-year-old child should already be able to wield forks, knives (of course, for children). The task of the parents is to explain the rules for owning cutlery and the appropriateness of their application.

If a parent wants to teach a child to behave at the table, then it is necessary to give up screaming and irritation. You should also remain consistent in your requirements. Adults need to repeat the rules from day to day and not change them of their own free will.

Etiquette rules for children from 5 to 10 years old

This age gap is the most important and fruitful for instilling table etiquette skills, but the situation is complicated by the fact that children no longer so clearly trust parental words. The child is able to notice the discrepancy between the requirements of the mother and her wrong actions.

What should children of this age be able to do? Below is a short list of basic etiquette skills:

  • the child realizes that it is impossible to swing in a chair, place elbows on the table and push. If the elbows are moving apart all the time, you can offer the baby to keep books during the meal;
  • the child is silent while eating, does not chomp. He also understands that you need to bite off little by little and chew the food in the most thorough way;
  • children refrain from coughing, belching and hiccupping. If such actions cannot be avoided, they understand that they need to turn away from the table and cover their mouth with a napkin;
  • An 8-year-old child should already understand that you cannot shout loudly in order to attract the attention of other eaters. If he needs to go to the restroom, he should tell his mom or dad about it quietly, without raising his voice;
  • children understand that it is ugly to reach for the desired dish across the table. Schoolchildren already know that in this case it is necessary to ask the neighbors to put the desired piece on the plate;
  • 10-year-old children already understand that they should sit down at the table only after the older ones, and get up from their seats only after the adults get up. If you need to leave the table, the child needs to ask permission;
  • children over five years old already know that after the meal, they should thank the hosts by saying the familiar, but no less valuable word "thank you".

If the child is "embarrassed" at a party, you cannot arrange for him to be dragged in the presence of a stranger. You need to talk about the violation at home, in case of a seriousness of the offense, you can arrange a family council.

"Table" etiquette for teenagers

A child over 10 years old usually already knows all the rules of beautiful behavior for children at the table. He understands how to properly handle basic cutlery, knows when to sit down and leave the table.

However, these are just the main principles that every decent person should know. Now it is necessary to move on to narrower and more specific knowledge.

For example, you can teach your child to use appliances that are not used every day: forks for crab and lobster, tongs for fruits, ice, salads. Firstly, this way children will expand their erudition and culinary possibilities, and secondly, it is just interesting.

General recommendations

In addition to tips for each age stage, there are general rules, the implementation of which will allow you to quickly accustom your child to "table" etiquette. What do experts recommend:

  1. You should not force the child to follow the rules of etiquette. It is much more useful and effective to play with your baby. As already noted above, the baby can call dolls and dolls to a dinner party, having laid the children's table according to all the rules. Mom will only have to follow the course of the meal.
  2. Be sure to enlist the support of your spouse and grandmothers. It's no secret that some adults allow a child what mom or dad forbids. You also need to be consistent when teaching skills. For every success the baby needs to be praised.
  3. Remember to involve the children in preparing dinner. Even a small child is able to set the table: arrange plates, lay out cutlery, put bread. This will help the little one understand the value of the food and the importance of the dining ceremony
  4. Don't forget about cartoons and literary works that teach the principles of etiquette. Be sure to talk about the scenes you see, especially if they show unwanted behavior.

Parenting is the lesson that children learn best. If mom or dad will behave neatly at the table, use cutlery correctly, wash their hands before eating, etc., then mastering the skills will not keep you waiting.

What are the benefits of table etiquette?

Not all parents realize the importance of teaching their child the rules of table behavior. But nowadays, these skills are becoming really necessary for a successful life.

Today, more and more often, serious matters are discussed at lunch in a restaurant, where deals are made. In addition, do not forget about visiting catering establishments with a pretty girl or guy, a business partner. That is, observance of etiquette can both help in adulthood and harm.

The above are only general principles. Of course, every kid is a bright individual, and each cell of society has its own dining traditions and rituals.

However, table etiquette for children in any situation pursues a common goal - to teach the child the correct behavior in society, which should be useful in adulthood. Therefore, parents should have a little patience and make a little effort, so that they can then be proud of their child's impeccable manners.

Watch the video: Teen etiquette from a manners expert (September 2024).