All children are waiting for gifts from Santa Claus for the New Year, and close people try to fulfill these desires. How to choose the right gift so as not to disappoint the child and keep within the family budget. What to look for when choosing gifts.
Child psychologists say that on holidays such as New Year's or birthday, children deserve congratulations and gifts, regardless of how they behaved throughout the year. Parents often think that their child “didn’t deserve a gift,” “didn’t obey,” “received two marks,” so you can forget about gifts. Who is right - psychologists or parents?
A wonderful holiday, New Year is the best time to spend it with your family. No matter how the previous year passed, this holiday is for everyone. It is necessary to forget quarrels, disagreements and resentments, and during the New Year holidays to make peace and be a friendly family together.
If you direct all your attention to the good, then it will become a hundred times more. The very moment when loved ones congratulate each other, how they choose and give gifts can become an indicator of the quality of the relationship. We need to try to make the situation in the family even better these days.
Gift as a mirror of the family
Not all parents can afford to make expensive gifts, because many are burdened with loans, and there are several children in the family. Do not be surprised if a child in a letter to Santa Claus asks for a tablet, smartphone or a "fancy" construction set.
They are sure that the gift will be from Santa Claus, the children sincerely believe that the money will be spent not by you, but by Santa Claus. There is no need to disappoint them and deprive them of the festive mood - they do not understand the financial difficulties of their parents. We'll have to turn on imagination and offer another gift option.
Children all hear what their parents are talking about and "shake their heads." A seven-year-old child who believes in Santa Claus, and he is aware that gifts can be bought by parents with the money earned.
We'll have to explain that Grandfather Frost presents children with children's gifts - favorite toys or fascinating construction sets. When children write to Santa Claus, you need to unobtrusively switch their attention to another, children's gift, taking into account the interests of everyone.
Gift as a manipulation
Sometimes close people seem to compete - who will give the most expensive gift. At the same time, they say: "You see, I love you more than anyone else!" This is fundamentally wrong, because love is not measured by two expensive gifts a year.
To show love means to constantly participate in the lives of children, take care of them, give a warm attitude, and not blackmail him. Bribery should not replace love, and children should learn this as early as possible.
No matter how your child learns, no matter how he behaves at home or in kindergarten, never frighten him with the deprivation of gifts, do not take away what was given - it hurts him, humiliates his dignity, destroys trust in his family in his soul. Perhaps your children will stop sharing secrets and experiences in order not to lose the desired things.
Gift as a promise
It happens that parents promise to give an expensive gift, but with some condition. “Okay, we’ll buy you a tablet, but you’ll pay for it ...” In this case, you need to be ready for such an ending that the child will not fulfill his promise, at least because of his age, at which he is not yet able to answer for his words and deeds.
It may happen that the purchased gadget will harm the child instead of benefit. At school, he will be distracted in thoughts of him, and at home he will spend all his free time playing games, forgetting about lessons. He can respond to comments with tears and aggression.
Seryozha's dad is upset. The teacher complains that a 9-year-old boy dreams of something in class. It turned out - to play a new tablet. Scandals have also become more frequent at home, after which, tired and crying, he sits down for his homework. “The child has become aggressive,” the dad wonders.
If the gift is harmful to health, interferes with studies, then at the family council you must agree on the rules and regulations. You need to decide on the time for the games and strictly follow these rules. And it is better to postpone the acquisition of complex devices so as not to lead children into temptation.
5 tips for choosing gifts
1. A gift is the thing that the child likes, not the parents. Most often, children are asked to give them what others have - a smartphone, a tablet. If there is not enough money for an expensive thing, you should come up with an alternative option related to their interests and hobbies.
2. It happens that a child requires something too expensive, something that the parents are unable to acquire. In all likelihood, he never knew refusal, and now he does not understand his parents. We'll have to look for a way out of this situation, although this should have been foreseen while he was small. Now you are reaping the benefits.
"Where does my son get such requests?" - the mother of a 10-year-old boy complains to the psychologist. It turns out that Denis was never refused, and now the child is asking for a Lego set for 25 thousand!
What to do in this case? Explain that this year your family budget allows you to buy a gift for a certain amount, and offer to keep within it.
3. Gifts cannot be taken away, even if the child abuses them. Often it is impossible to tear it away from the computer because of the "shooters and tanks". We'll have to be smart and direct his knowledge in the right direction. Instruct him to search for some information, for example, discount vouchers to sanatoriums, Christmas tree decorations or a gift for grandparents. Thus, the child will be distracted from the games, and not the child will start working on the computer, but the computer on him. But if this does not help, then you need to take more drastic measures - dose the time and monitor the implementation of the regime. But what has been presented cannot be taken away.
4. It happens that adults, without agreeing with each other, give an unwanted gift.
Imagine what a gift from her dad who recently left to live with another family means for Sveta's girl. And especially if the gift is a long-awaited puppy. But my stepfather is allergic to wool. After long tantrums, scandals and negotiations, the family decided to send the puppy to grandmother.
But New Year's stories do not always end so well. It remains only to believe in a miracle - that adults in the family will behave rationally even in conflict situations. Or at least negotiate gifts in advance.
5. Even if the child has broken or lost the gift, do not scold him or shout “Yes, you understand how much it cost!” Believe me, the absence of a favorite thing is already a punishment.
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