Some of today's moms and dads are convinced that household chores deprive their beloved child of a happy childhood, so they themselves slowly fold scattered toys, things, books, without even thinking about how to teach the child to help around the house. And yet this approach is fundamentally wrong. Household chores are of great benefit not only to parents, but also to the children themselves. Children at an early age, helping adults, feel like full family members, are proud of their own capabilities, learn to work in a team.
It remains to figure out at what age to accustom a child to work, whether it is worth making children work or is it better to use little tricks so as not to turn duties into daily hard labor.
Everything has its time
From the age of two, the child is able to provide all possible help around the house. It is worth highlighting the word "feasible", since it is difficult to call small assignments full-fledged work. However, the desire for independence must be encouraged in every possible way.
What do children trust in different age periods?
From two to four years old
This period is also called the crisis of three years of age, which is characterized, among other things, by the desire to become more independent. This feature must be taken into account by attentive parents.
A two-year-old child is already able to fulfill the simplest requests: give his mother gloves, a wallet, books, a case from glasses, etc.
All these things must be safe for the baby - that is, you cannot ask to bring something sharp, heavy or fragile.
During this age period, children learn self-service skills, so the child's desire to take off and put on trousers, swimming trunks, T-shirts should be encouraged in every possible way.
The parents are required to show him where to put things for storage.
If a child at this age sees how parents work at home and generally have a positive attitude towards the performance of various duties, the process of training to work will be greatly simplified, since there will be a positive example in front of his eyes.
From four to six years old
Preschool children develop very quickly, easily acquiring more and more new skills. Four-year-olds are already capable of fulfilling more serious requirements and wishes.
For example, kindergarteners put play accessories in places after play, put things in a basket, feed pets (change water for dogs and cats, pour dry food).
It is necessary to more actively teach the child to help adults when cleaning the apartment. He is quite capable of fighting dust, setting the table, arranging food in the refrigerator.
Parents need to demonstrate to their child in every possible way that they value his support and are grateful to him.
Six years and older
Very soon, the child will go to school, so it is extremely important to teach him not only to help with the weekly general cleaning, but also to put things in order every day.
Six-year-olds are already capable of performing the following household chores:
- make your bed daily;
- put toys back in place;
- put clothes in a wardrobe or on a chair;
- take care of home flowers;
- collect a backpack for kindergarten or school;
- keep an eye on the pet, clean it up, take it out for a walk.
As already noted, it is better to start teaching from a very early age, because work skills will always come in handy. But you can try to instill a love of household chores in older years. The main thing is to do it right.
Helpful hints
First of all, you need to take into account the preferences of the children. Each baby already has a penchant for a particular type of activity.
For example, some children tend to organize and organize, so they like to sort things according to certain parameters. Others like to keep an eye on plants or furry pets.
Thus, it is only important to carefully monitor your own child and ask for his opinion. You can also study the recommendations of experts who advise what needs to be done and what is better to refuse.
What do we have to do?
- Work together... Do not refuse the help of the child by sending him to play. On the contrary, invite him to do household chores together. A very small crumb can wash vegetables, older children can knead dough, cut salads or set the table. And thanks to your supervision, the likelihood of injury will be reduced.
- Combine homework with child development... For example, cleaning a room can be done in parallel with telling a fairy tale about Cinderella. When removing toys, you can repeat their color, etc.
- Make cleaning fun... This advice is relevant at an early age and in the event that the child shies away from household chores. For example, mugs and plates can be washed with "magic bubbles", and cleaning toys is generally a search for a real pirate treasure.
- Consider the age and desires of the child... For the best results, try making a list of work responsibilities that are appropriate for your child's age and personality. And only then you need to let him choose those that he would like to perform.
- Be sure to praise for help... It can be either simple gratitude for the work done, or stimulating words that will allow the child to be more actively involved in the work. For example: "You are the best at peeling potatoes" or "No one can cope better than you at weeding carrots." Of course, one should not stoop to very rude flattery.
What should i avoid?
- Don't expect perfect results... A kid cannot do something better than an adult, so broken cups and plates are a completely common result of child help. At first, you will have to redo something for the child, however, not in sight of the little worker. Otherwise, he may think that his work is meaningless.
- Do not scold... Patience is very important in teaching a child to work. Of course, a baby can be made to do work faster, but he is simply physically unable to perform duties on an equal basis with adults. If you constantly adjust, then next time he will simply refuse to help.
- Don't view household chores as punishment... Ideally, the child should understand that work is a blessing. If you constantly punish for something with household chores, then children will begin to consider washing dishes or walking a dog something negative.
- Don't pay for labor... Paying for household chores is a controversial decision. Psychologists advise encouraging children not with money, but by visiting a circus or cinema. Otherwise, the child will begin to perceive his direct responsibilities as a subject of bargaining and demand, accordingly, an increase in payment.
- Do not divide activities by gender... Modern children do not accept conventions, so girls disassemble computers, and boys love to cook in the kitchen. There is nothing wrong. On the contrary, all children should be able to sew on buttons, cook at least eggs, and make the bed.
Well, one more important tip, which has already been mentioned. Demonstrate a positive model of behavior - put away and wash your dishes, do spring cleaning, etc. You cannot demand from the child what you yourself do not fulfill.
"I don't want to help!"
More often than not, laziness and irresponsibility are somewhere nearby. Parents complain that their little or adult child does not help at all.
The problem is common, and its causes depend largely on the behavior of the mothers and fathers themselves.
- The child has not formed a habit not only to help adults, but also to simply clean up after himself. Of course, the parents or grandmothers themselves are to blame for this. After all, I feel sorry for the kid, and why should he wash the dishes, if he grows up, he will work out more.
- Adult family members are generally not cleanliness. For example, the father does not put his clothes in the wardrobe, the mother leaves a whole mountain of dirty dishes in the morning. The apartment itself has not been renovated for a long time, so the desire to clean something quickly disappears.
- Each member of the family lives separately, there is no habit of doing collective work - making repairs, planting potatoes. The child, naturally, grows up to be an individualist and egoist.
- Adults do not praise a son or daughter for fulfilled assignments, good grades, etc. That is, any work is considered a duty, and praise for it, it seems, is not necessary.
- Some parents have a kind of "policy" characterized by constant changes in mood and requirements. That is, at first, my mother does not pay attention to the unmade bed, and then forces her to arrange a general cleaning.
- Some adults start to coerce children, which makes them violently protest. This is especially common in adolescence.
And yet the most common reason is that parents do not see the difference between a happy and carefree childhood. In the first case, the child works for himself and others for the good, and carelessness is distinguished by the fact that all accents are transferred from active activity to permanent rest.
In order not to face the laziness of a teenager, you need to start raising a child with labor from a young age. Naturally, the choice of occupation should take into account the age and characteristics of the offspring.
What if the child refuses to help?
So, there are many reasons for children to refuse to help their parents. And if some themselves do everything without reminders, then it is almost impossible to get at least some support from the latter. How to fix the behavior of the little "reluctant"?
First of all, you should not panic and compare your child with other, more hard-working children. And in order to change children's behavior, you must first change yourself.
- communicate more with the child, giving up sitting at the computer and watching television. Perhaps this is a universal advice, as they say, for all occasions;
- stop scolding your child for any reason... On the contrary, try to get close and find out his preferences. Perhaps knowledge of addictions will help him choose the appropriate type of activity;
- if you made a promise, be sure to keep it... It will also help establish a trusting parent-child relationship;
- be sure to praise even the smallest help... Let your child know that you appreciate their efforts.
Once you've established a more trusting relationship, use the tips above. If you have not achieved positive results, try contacting a psychologist. He will study the situation from all sides and suggest the most optimal solution to this problem.
Brief conclusions
Getting used to work is not always an easy process. Perhaps you have your own solution to the situation, but still it will be useful to remember what is needed:
- support children's initiative;
- help the child with emerging difficulties, teach how to correctly perform this or that action;
- not pay for household chores;
- always say "thank you" for the effort;
- not demand, but ask or offer to do the job;
- take into account the characteristics and preferences of the child;
- not punish with labor for misconduct;
- show a positive example.
In order for the child to know how to help the mother, you need to start teaching him to do household chores from an early age. In this case, you won't have any further hassle with a little assistant.
And finally, it should be noted that the desire to do everything on your own (because it's faster this way) can play a cruel joke in the future. If you do not want at one fine moment to hear a rude refusal from a child to ask for help, please be patient and work with the baby.
And, if at first not everything will work out for him, then very soon you will be able to trust him with more serious matters. To everyone's joy and benefit.
