In most families, parents face the problem that children sleep with mom and dad. At first it is convenient, yet the baby needs to be taught to sleep separately. This is not always easy to do. Sometimes parents cannot cope with such a task even until they are 5-6 years old. Dr. Komarovsky believes that sleeping together will not harm children, but it is necessary to begin to wean them in a timely manner, before the moment of developing attachment to parents.
The question of weaning from joint sleep does not arise if from the first days you teach the baby to sleep independently
The positive and negative aspects of sleeping together
Many parents practice sleeping together with an infant, especially in the first year of his life. This option greatly simplifies feeding at night and makes it easier for the mother to care for the baby.
Benefits for rebenka:
- next to the mother, the baby feels calmer and more protected, he falls asleep faster;
- the baby avoids unnecessary stress when parting with his mother at night;
- the child has more tactile contact;
- the risk of sudden death decreases, since the baby's heartbeat near the parents becomes more rhythmic, and breathing is even, the mother can control the child's condition at any time;
- feeling unwell (illness, teeth cutting) is transferred faster and easier;
- the baby does not overheat, as part of his heat is transferred to the adult.
There are also many advantages for parents:
- mom can always control the behavior and condition of the baby;
- it is easier to feed the baby at night when he is around, you do not need to get up;
- lactation increases, since being near the crumbs stimulates the flow of milk, allows you to feed it on demand.
The disadvantages of sleeping with parents are also enough:
- the risk of crushing the newborn, especially from the dad's side, since he does not feel the child as much as a woman;
- the baby can get all the baggage of viruses and diseases of the parents;
- you cannot lay the baby next to you at night if the mother was drinking alcohol, taking sedatives or sleeping pills;
- sleeping together can harm the marital relationship of parents, depriving them of a full sexual life;
- the sleeping place should be safe for the child: there should be no cracks, soft pillows near him, the mattress should also be hard.
Before deciding to sleep with your child, you should weigh the pros and cons.
A child in a parent's bed can harm adult relationships
On a note. It is important to make a decision about sleeping together with dad, as a child in a married bed can lead to a lack of a full sex life. This, in turn, can cause discord and problems in the family.
Why wean your child from sleeping with parents
Experts differ on the benefits of sleeping together. There are many opponents who argue that the baby should sleep separately from the parents. They have their own arguments.
To teach a baby to be independent, he needs personal space. It is ideal for the child to have his own room; at first, you can install a separate bed for him in the parent's bedroom.
The toddler must develop the skill of falling asleep on his own. If the baby sleeps constantly with her mother in bed, then attachment to her parents and the need for their presence are formed.
After 3 years, it is imperative to begin gradually gradually weaning children from the parental bed. If this is not done, then problems will subsequently arise not only in adults, but also in the child himself.
When weaned from sleeping together
A similar question does not arise in families where children sleep in a separate bed from birth. If a joint dream is chosen, then the moment of resettlement comes.
On a note. Psychologists recommend not to take the average period established by pediatricians as a basis. Each child is individual, so it is worth focusing on his psychological characteristics and readiness for relocation.
The main signal of the baby's readiness to sleep separately is the absence of night feedings. When the deep sleep phase becomes long enough, then you can think about resettling. This moment usually occurs by 9-10 months.
If you wait until the baby himself wants to sleep separately from his parents, then the optimal age is 3-5 years. In this case, they simply play along with the baby, helping him choose a personal bed and bedding.
Your own bed with a unique design will attract the child's attention
If the baby slept alone, but began to come to the parent's bed at night, then this is the child's manipulation to get more attention from adults.
How to stop a child from sleeping with their parents
To teach a child to sleep separately from their parents, you need to think over your actions correctly and be patient. This procedure is individual. Some babies get used to it in a few days, while others take months.
On a note. The kid very quickly finds the weak side of adults and skillfully manipulates the parents.
Moving a child into a separate bed is a significant change in the life of a little person. The procedure is especially difficult if another baby appears in the house, who is allowed to sleep with his parents. Before putting it off in a separate bed, you need to work out a clear plan on how to wean your child from sleeping with you.
At 6 months
At this age, the baby should not be transferred to a separate room. To teach him to sleep alone, a baby cot should be installed in the parents' room.
Initially, you can install it flush with an adult bed. The distance should be gradually increased. This will help your baby learn to sleep separately, but stay close to the adults.
For the first time, the crib can be installed next to the parents
At 8 months
At the age of 8 months, the baby sleeps soundly at night, but you should not leave him in a separate room. To make it more comfortable for him to sleep alone, you can offer a companion, for example, a soft favorite toy. You can accompany the process of laying down with a game, for example, first putting inanimate friends to bed.
Do not follow the whims of the baby. In order for the weaning process to end with a positive result, it is still allowed to pick it up if the child is crying and naughty.
The toy very often helps to fall asleep without mom
At 9 months
Difficulties do not disappear at this age. Every adult tries different methods. At 9 months old, you can try the "incubation method" and resettling the crumbs to a separate room. While the baby falls asleep, you should sit next to him and press until he falls asleep.
The main rule is to make weaning from the parental bed gradual and phased. So that the baby is not afraid, a small night light can be installed in the room.
At 10 months
It is difficult to wean a baby at 10-11 months from sleeping in one bed. If the baby does not go to bed alone, then you can go to the trick and lay him next to you, and then transfer the sleeping person to his bed.
Gradually, the child will get used to waking up alone and will understand the delights of a separate dream. To make it easier for him to sleep alone at night, it is worth initially putting the baby on a separate daytime sleep. Gradually develop the habit of going to bed during the day.
One year old
A baby aged 1-1.5 years old is difficult to accustom to his bed, especially a room, if he sleeps next to his mother from birth. You can go for the trick and go to the store to buy him his own crib.
Today there are many interesting models in the form of carriages, cars. Such things arouse interest in the baby. You can also try to tell that a crib is his personal space, there is no entrance for adults.
Why does the baby not sleep alone
Coming to the parental bed, any child seeks peace, tranquility and protection. In this way, he often requires confirmation that he is loved and not offended. Therefore, there are several reasons according to which the baby comes to the parent's bed at night and refuses to sleep alone:
- stressful situations and conflicts;
- the appearance of a second child in the family;
- obsessive fears;
- conflicts between parents (the baby is trying to act as a peacemaker);
- harsh treatment of adults (at night, parents are more affectionate and will not scream).
Whatever the reason, you need to find out and try to solve it with the baby. Very often, the fear of being alone by children is exaggerated, and simple familiar objects seem to be monsters from scary tales.
On a note. You can not use cruelty in such cases, shout. All weaning actions should be gentle and not cause more fear and aggression in the child.
If everyone in the family is comfortable, then sleeping together has a lot of positive aspects.
Even at a very early age, a baby develops his own psyche, he becomes a person who has fears. If a baby asks to go to bed with his parents, then first you should understand the reason for his behavior, and only then solve this issue so that he does not experience discomfort.
