Your baby is growing. His playful hands can already "put things in order" in the most inappropriate places for this. For parents, this is an unnecessary concern, because a crumb can not only ruin things, but also expose itself to certain danger.
Starting from the age of one, it is already necessary to accustom the baby to the words "no", "no". But you just need to do it correctly, so as not to cause excessive aggression in the child and the desire to do the opposite.
How babies perceive inhibitions
Any child learns the world around him, and therefore he is very interested in what will happen if he touches the pan on the stove or puts pants on his head. If an action is prohibited, it is possible that a reaction in the form of tears or anger will follow. This is quite normal, so the baby is protesting.
The child is not yet able to learn any prohibitions the first time and can do the same tomorrow that was impossible today. This does not mean at all that he is acting in spite of you, it is just that any "mustn't" is not perceived by him in a global sense.
Another feature of the perception of prohibitions in children is the inability to transfer the situation to a similar one. If you forbade him to touch the microwave, this does not mean that he will not fit the mixer. Do not think that the kid decided to "annoy" you. This is the peculiarity of perception, so be patient.
Advice for adults
Don't overuse forbidden words
The most common mistake parents make is too many prohibitions. Constantly hearing the word "no", the child simply ceases to perceive it in the right direction. The word becomes a constant companion of life and is not perceived as forbidden.
Don't jeopardize the interests of the little researcher. Let him run freely on the street, touch all sorts of objects, chase a neighbor's cat. Any clothes can be washed, and your hands and face can be washed.
Children under the age of three do not understand that the same action can be performed at home and not in public. Or, conversely, you can play with water on the playground, but at home it is undesirable. In such cases, try to explain the situation to the child without using forbidden words or distract by playing.
The word "no" for the first three years of your baby's life should refer only to actions that threaten the safety of the baby, as well as aggression towards a person. Do not - it is a finger in the socket, handles on a hot pot, banging on glass surfaces, biting or pinching people. Everything else does absolutely no harm, but simply adds hassle to parents and increases the time for cleaning the house.
After a child reaches the age of three, he begins to understand more. He is already able to understand the difference between a sketchbook and wallpaper in the hallway, so now the prohibitions can be concretized. For example, the iron can be touched when it is in its place on the shelf and cannot be - if mom is ironing things.
We explain the reason
Any of your prohibitions must be accompanied by an explanation of the reason. The child must understand that the action is actually dangerous, it is not your whim.
When explaining, use words the child already knows the meaning of. Speak in a language he understands. In addition to words, the physical perception of each "no" is also important. For example, you can let the baby touch the hot kettle on the stove, but when the degree of its heating will no longer threaten the baby's delicate skin with burns.
Alternative to bans
It is not for nothing that our Russian language is called great and mighty, and you must use it to the fullest. For any "no" try to pick your "can" and use it more often. For example, you cannot touch the pan on the stove, but you can take the ladle off the table. Such “cans” distract the child from forbidden things, while at the same time not preventing him from developing and learning about the world.
Already at this age, the baby should have his own things, similar to those of adults. Then you do not have to forbid anything, it will be enough to explain which hammer is dad and which is Colin. The crumbs will lose interest in your things, and the importance will increase.
We read on the topic:
- 5 alternatives to say NO to your child
- What can and cannot be prohibited to a child
- How to prohibit a child without prohibiting
Systems approach
Any categorical prohibition must remain so always, in any situation. Otherwise, the child simply will not understand why the same action was forbidden yesterday, but today it has suddenly become available. The kid can decide that everything "is not allowed" depends on the mood of the elders and in fact does not conceal absolutely no danger. Don't practice permission of the forbidden if you need to make time for your own affairs.
The rest of the family should follow the same approach. It often happens that a grandmother or dad can do something that mom does not allow. And this negatively affects the authority of the mother. It is quite possible that in the future the child will stop hearing her "no" and will ask the same from other adults. All prohibitions should be the same, they should not be canceled even in case of tears and hysterics.
At the same time, you can show some flexibility. You can allow your child a little more if, for example, he is sick. But in this case, you must explain that the permit applies only to the period of illness.
Avoid provocative moments
It happens that parents themselves provoke children to certain actions. For example, a child was repeatedly forbidden to touch his father's papers, but how can you avoid the temptation if they are constantly lying on the table and not even put in a drawer? There are a lot of such situations.
Keep all important documents out of the reach of your child, or better yet, under lock and key. The same goes for any valuable and fragile items. Don't tempt your baby unnecessarily.
Separately, I would like to remind you about the rules for the safety of a child in the house. Protect the baby from any piercing and cutting objects, sharp corners, block access to sockets, glasses and mirrors.
We read on the topic: how to secure a home for a child.
We prohibit correctly
- Watch your intonation first. Leave aside all the screaming and swearing, speak in a calm tone. This way the baby will learn to accept what is being said, and not be afraid of your angry look. But at the same time, you need to show the baby your discontent and resentment, so that over time he begins to understand in what cases you are upset by his behavior. And it is also advisable to forget about threats, if you do not want to instill fear in the child instead of respect. We read an article on the topic: what should I do if I constantly yell at my child?;
- Respect your baby as a person. In any conflict, do not use offensive words. By doing this, you will only lower the child's self-esteem and are unlikely to look like an authoritative person in his eyes;
- Remain prudent. Think back to your childhood desires. What did you want the most? Maybe there is an opportunity to allow this to your child, but with the observance of precautions ?;
- As they grow older, all prohibitions should be adjusted in accordance with the age of your child. The child grows, every year his abilities develop and improve. Allow him to turn on the light, help you in the kitchen or wield scissors over an unnecessary newspaper, while observing the necessary precautions;
- And the most important thing is personal example. Do not demand from your child what you cannot do yourself. Lack of bad language, punctuality, respect for elders and much more can be brought up only through the example of a positive personal quality.
Try to keep your ban list to a minimum. Say the words "no" and "no" in extremely dangerous situations, and at other times replace them with alternative "can". Over time, you will see that your child's stubbornness will give way to obedience.
We read on the topic of psychology and education:
Raising a child up to a year: advice to parents, games and toys;
- How to respond and deal with a child's whims - https://razvitie-krohi.ru/psihologiya-detey/kak-reagirovat-i-borotsya-s-kaprizami-rebenka.html;
- 25 tips how to raise a child in love and serenity;
- 10 tips how to stop yelling at your children;
- Features of the psychology of raising children under one year old.
