Raising honesty in childhood is challenging but extremely important. Parents often do not understand how to respond to lies, and disciplinary methods do not always solve the problem. If you want your child to trust you, be responsible for their actions, build fair relationships, help him realize what sincerity is and draw a clear line between truth and deception. Here are some simple tips to help you raise honest children.
- Show an example of honesty. The main rule of family education is to be a model of behavior for your child. Any reasoning about an honest lifestyle, morality and the right actions is broken by your personal example, which children see every day. Every time you say in transport that a child is under seven years old, in order not to pay for a ticket, you justify a lie. Remember how often you asked him to answer the phone: "Mom is not at home now"? Toddlers do not yet understand that adults use the so-called white lie (lie for good), so it is highly undesirable to cheat in their presence. If you still had to lie, and your child was there, then be sure to explain to him the reason for your action. Do not be afraid to admit that you made a mistake, and you yourself are very unpleasant.
- Reward honesty. Sincerity is always the best policy, find a way to show your child your gratitude, even if it's just a simple "thank you." If he honestly admitted his guilt, show joy: "I am very proud of you because you told the truth!" And then a difficult question arises: what to do with the offense? If the kid is punished, next time he will try to come up with a more sophisticated story so as not to get caught. And if you leave the lie without consequences, then the next time he may lie because he had nothing for it. The best way out is to give a chance to improve, as well as show the negative results of lying and explain how important it is to be honest. You might say that you value the child's truthfulness and get upset when he cheats: “If you don’t tell me what really happened, I’ll be very upset.”
- Explain that it is not profitable to lie. Talk with your child about the importance of being honest and how people can lose confidence and even become frustrated with the person who lies to them all the time. As an example, read literary works where the dangers of deceitful behavior are told simply and engagingly, without moralizing: the parable "The Boy and the Wolves", Collodi's tale "The Adventures of Pinocchio", Rodari "Jelsomino in the Land of Liars", Dragunsky's story "The Secret Becomes Revealed" and others. Let the children also watch cartoons and listen to audio stories, in which truth always wins.
Invite the children to imagine a society where everyone is lying to one another. Would he like to live there? Why not?
- Trust your children. It is very important for a child to feel that close people trust him. As a rule, he strives with all his might to justify this trust. If children are faced with vain accusations of lying, they will soon stop telling the truth altogether. Why be honest if no one believes and every word you say is questioned?
Also, you should not put a negative model of behavior in children, constantly reminding them of their previous mistakes. If you repeat to your child every day before kindergarten: "Just let the teacher complain about you today", "Just try to hit someone today", then with such phrases you yourself will provoke him to these actions. Explain that you have no doubts about his power: “Behave yourself - you can handle it. You are good for me! " The child will definitely believe you, and there will be no need for lies.
- Do not give another reason to cheat. Adults should avoid situations where it is easier for a child to lie than to tell the truth. If the child dabbled and broke something, then there is no need to ask the obvious things: "Did you break the mug?" He's probably lying. Better to ask in a different way: “I know you broke the mug. How did this happen? " Such questions eliminate all ambiguity and the likelihood of deception. It is important to ask the child in a friendly tone so as not to provoke him to lie out of fear of punishment.
- Don't humiliate children with interrogations. Do not question children. They may regard them as doubting the veracity and disrespect for their own person. Sometimes it can come to a skirmish: "I didn't do it!" - “I did. Confess! " - "It's not me!" However, this does not mean that any childish word should be trusted unconditionally, but any suspicion should be voiced in the most respectful way. And if you doubt the honesty of the baby, then it is better to say: “I really want to think that what you say is true. I will be upset if I find out that you are lying to me. "
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Become an example of honest behavior in the eyes of your child. Find truthful answers, taking into account the age of the baby, because any adult lie forces the child to behave the same way. Create an atmosphere of safety and openness, and then the baby does not have to deceive you.
Children about honesty:
