Each parent can share stories of children's mischief and antics. An inner voice prompts that all children pass through the broken dishes, scattered things and painted wallpapers. In practice, however, it is difficult to refuse punishment when the child is disobedient. We invite you to think about the question of whether it is necessary to punish children for accidental misconduct?
But first the story. Little Lisa had warm green woolen trousers, in which she loved to go to kindergarten. But after walking through the spring puddles, my mother said that they needed to be washed. Hearing that the trousers were dirty, Lisa carried them into the bath. Only my mother forgot that there was still a basin with white linen in it. When it came to washing, it turned out that the laundry had acquired a delicate turquoise hue. And only Liza's face shone with the satisfied smile of her mother's assistant. Should you punish a child who didn't want to do anything wrong? Answer yourself by reading our tips.
To punish or not to punish a child
- Think before you speak. What words do you say: good or bad? Unfortunately, you won't be able to take them back. Take a deep breath and wait a few seconds before reacting to the child's prank. (See the article “What words are better not to say to children”)
- Remember, things are interchangeable, the child is not. You don't want your child to think that things are more important to you than him? A cut carpet can be sewn up, scratched furniture can be repaired, painted doors can be washed, a broken vase can be glued, but it is much more difficult to regain the trust and love of a punished child.
- Disobedience is not a personal attack on you.If you are already going to kick the ears of a naughty child who broke your beloved and, most importantly, an expensive camera, think if he did it to spite you. In the vast majority of cases, children break something, fight someone, or play naughty in any other way not to harm you.
- Leave the room and calm down. When emotions are running high and you are unable to recover or calm your child down, take a break. Leave the room, call a friend, count to a hundred, or do something else that will calm you down and allow you to talk to your child without unnecessary nerves. (See the article “What to do if I yell at a child”)
- Make sure your expectations are appropriate for the child's age. Are you expecting your 4-year-old to behave as intelligently as a 10-year-old? Do you think an eight-year-old student will fulfill all your requirements as a 16-year-old teenager? Think about age norms to find out what to expect from your child and what to prepare for.
- Perhaps later you will laugh at today's situation. If you learn to laugh at what is happening, almost any child's offense will no longer seem like a tragedy. Did the kid spill milk all over the kitchen? Did the preschooler paint the wallpaper in the nursery? Someday such stories will become your family stories, which you will share with a laugh with friends and family. And in the most difficult moments, pick up the books by Astrid Lindgren, telling about the little tomboy Emil from Lenneberg.
- Think of yourself at his age. Better yet, ask your parents to remind you of how you were as a child. Surely the child's antics will fade in front of your childish pranks. And, perhaps, the circle he has broken will no longer be such a strong sin.
- Never forget that you love children. Of course, it's hard to think about loving a little prankster when he painted your new car with a felt-tip pen or accidentally split a crystal vase. However, it is at these moments that your understanding and good attitude is needed most of all.
- Lacking patience? Take responsibility for yourself!
- Why can't you beat a child
Please be patient and try not to lose your sense of humor. After talking with the child, you will understand that in most cases he is driven not by the desire to harm, but by the instinct of a pioneer, the desire to invent, and sometimes by mere chance. Yes, things can be expensive, and their value is not always measured only by money. But think, is it worth any, even an expensive item of children's tears?
- Why can't you spank a child?
- Do I need to punish a child at 3 years old: the opinion of parents and a psychologist
- How children should not be punished
- 10 reasons for bad behavior in children
- Child-rearing style: carrot or stick?
- 8 loyal ways to punish children. How to properly punish children for disobedience
- 5 alternatives to say NO to your child
- 16 ways to make your child happy
