Having worried about the constant lack of sleep and worries about her child, the mother takes the baby to her bed. It's much easier to feed him and watch him while he sleeps. But the thought that this could be dangerous for the little man does not leave her head. What if she crushes him with her body at night or even worse - he suffocates in her arms? How real are such fears?
Can a mom hurt her baby in a dream?
Many believe that such a situation can only happen with a woman who is not serious about her motherhood, drinks alcohol, takes sleeping pills or is not in her right mind. In fact, it turns out that such an opinion is erroneous.
“In my life there was a similar case when I was breastfeeding, lying in bed at night, and at some point, unexpectedly for myself, I simply fell asleep. This was caused by my terrible overwork - I had to keep order in the garden area, do my daily chores (washing and ironing children's clothes, cooking, washing dishes, vacuuming), packing my older child to school and preparing lessons with him. A heavy breast, filled with milk, with all its weight fell on the face of my little daughter, and I woke up only because I felt her gasping for breath. I still remember the state of my horror, so I never fed my baby in a supine position, but only while sitting. "
But sleeping with the child in the same bed is very convenient, since usually the mother is very sensitive to any movement and sounds of her baby... The baby gives her signals that he is worried at the moment and it is easier for mom to perceive them when he is around.
But what you shouldn't do for sure is to lay the baby next to dad. Men are not so sensitive to children, they sleep more soundly and in a dream they can involuntarily hurt them.
There is an opinion that if a child sleeps with his parents, then he can pick up various microbes from them. This has no scientific justification, so healthy parents do not need to worry about this, there will be no harm from sleeping together (if mom and dad are healthy, then the child has nothing to pick up).
How to properly lay your baby?
Prepare a place for your baby to sleep. It must be firm without unnecessary things (pillows, towels, rollers, etc.). The baby should be comfortable and spacious to sleep. Eliminate places of potential danger so that the baby does not hurt, fall, or suffocate. It is better to be overly discreet than to beat yourself up later for being overly cautious.
Our bed was right next to the wall, so I had to cover the empty space with a blanket so that my little daughter could not fall there. Also, cold blows from the wall in winter, which can lead to colds.
How does mom sleep next to the baby?
It has been scientifically proven that children subtly feel the state of the mother, feel her breathing and heart rate. Sleeping together leads to the fact that the child "adjusts" to the body of his mother and sleeps next to her much calmer.
When the baby sleeps next to her mother, she no longer needs to get out of bed all the time at night to feed him, give him water from a bottle and see if he has opened up in a dream. She only needs to catch in time what the baby needs and do it as needed. Hence the conclusion asks: Mom gets better sleep when the baby sleeps with her.
One of the most practical options is to place the crib so that it is adjacent to the parent's bed. So the mother will be able not only to see her child, but also to reach him with her hand to straighten the blanket, cover him, stroke him, say a few gentle soothing words (without even leaving the phase of deep sleep, so to speak, half asleep), if the baby is crying or restless sleeps.
Does sharing a dream with a baby affect parental relationships?
Many parents do not put their child to sleep with them for fear that this will become a habit and in the future will lead to his unwillingness to sleep alone. In my practice, I became convinced that these fears are not always true.
My husband and I removed a few rods from our daughter's crib so that she could climb and descend on her own when she needed it. Every day, after we went to bed, she got out of her crib and came to our bed, after which she settled comfortably between us and fell asleep soundly. I was amazed how she navigated in the apartment in complete darkness, managed not to hook on anything and not stumble anywhere, although she had to walk to our bedroom through the living room and the corridor.
This behavior did not last long, night visits began to occur less and less, and after a while we completely forgot about them.
Regarding the closeness between the parents of the baby, while he sleeps nearby, it is safe to say that she practically does not suffer from this. The child does not play any role here. The main reluctance of a woman to enter into such a relationship can be explained by her fatigue, constant tension and the inability to fully relax and get enough sleep. Although the reason may lie elsewhere.
It is known for certain that during pregnancy and after childbirth, a woman undergoes a restructuring of the whole body, respectively, the hormonal background also undergoes changes, which usually entail a decrease in libido. For any woman, the process of childbirth is a kind of stress, through which only time will help to get through. Awareness of her new role in society, a completely different life and the associated chores, restructuring of the body - all this in no way contributes to the woman's desire to express herself in intimate relationships. Rather, on the contrary, she will not be up to it at all.
Only her husband's sincere desire to help, as well as his care and patience will help the young mother to cope with all the difficulties faster. Then she can again give her love and affection to her husband.
So, there are several main points that are worth remembering for young parents.:
- Never take your child to sleep in your bed if you have drunk alcohol (even the smallest) or have taken any sleep stimulants before. You will not be able to control your mind, therefore it is better to protect the baby from the possible consequences of your inadequate state.
- Separate a special place on your bed so that your baby sleeps on a hard surface and only in a lateral or supine position. Otherwise, the baby may bury his face in a soft mattress and suffocate from lack of air.
- Free your bed from all kinds of bolsters, unnecessary pillows, anything that could be dangerous for a child. Check to see if the baby can get caught in the gap between the bed and the adjacent wall.
- Do not wear too many clothes for your baby at night if you are going to hide under the same blanket with him. The heat emanating from your body will affect it all night, so there is a risk of overheating.
- Sharing a dream with a baby should not bring inconvenience to his parents, and even more so negatively affect the baby himself.
- If the baby sleeps well without you, the need for joint sleep disappears by itself. Enjoy this state of affairs and enjoy the current situation, you will have the opportunity to devote more time to your personal relationship with your spouse.
Sleeping with your baby is not only useful as a means of strengthening his nervous system and health, but also important for prolonging breastfeeding.
- Sleeping with a child - together or apart
- My experience: the baby should sleep separately
- How I taught my baby to sleep in my crib
- Sharing a dream with a child: benefit or harm
- We teach the child to sleep in his bed separately from his mother (video, real stories)
