“Mommy, why is the wind blowing”, “Why does the rain fall from the sky?”, “Why does the ice melt?”, “Why are the chickens yellow, and the chicken white?”, “Where do children come from“ ... and so on. - such questions of the baby at first cause a sense of pride in the parents. The child's curiosity is perceived as evidence of his full development. And mom and dad pick up reference books, leaf through encyclopedias, look for answers on the Internet and talk with specialists with only one purpose: to explain to their little one why this happens and what it is connected with.
But the stream of questions does not stop, and the enthusiasm of parents is gradually replaced by fatigue from constant "why?", to find answers to which is simply impossible. “Mom, why do the stars shine at night, but you can't see them during the day?”, “Why is the car driving?”, “Why don't hamsters brush their teeth?”, “Why is the blood red and not black?”... Excessive "meticulousness" in the study of the world begins to tire mom and dad and eventually only causes irritation. How to be in such cases? How to properly respond to your baby's questions?
How to properly respond and answer constant children's questions: what? Where? when? what for? and why?
First of all, don't be nervous. Your child is growing up and has reached the same age that psychologists call "Age for some reason" (3 - 5 years old At this time, the child is most actively interested in everything that surrounds him)... Find the strength in yourself and try to understand your baby, because the world is so big and interesting - he wants to know absolutely everything about him!
When does the "why age" start?
A few months ago, the baby was not particularly talkative, he was a quiet and calm child. Today he haunts his parents, his questions strive to confuse the logic of adults. Endless “why? and why?" catches up with them wherever they are: at home, in the park, in the store. This is due to the fact that your child has reached a "special" age when he is interested in knowing everything about everyone. This period of development usually falls on the most interesting childhood age - from 3 to 5 years.
How do moms and dads behave in such situations? Some try hard to stay calm and answer all questions as they come. Others try to translate the topic, so to speak, "evade" the answer, so as not to lower their authority in the eyes of the child with their "I don't know."
Keep in mind that the latter option will not suit your little one at all. He will "torture" you no matter what. If you decide to excuse yourself and say the first thing that comes to your mind, the child will immediately feel it. A new series of questions will await you, clarifying your answer. Therefore, if you "suddenly" do not know something, promise your child to answer this question a little later, say: "I need to clarify something so that I can give you a detailed answer." Reassure yourself that this is a "test" for all parents.
From the forum
Catherine: somewhere I heard the wording: “This is a difficult question. I can't answer it right away, I need to think. " Then, when there is an answer, you raise the topic itself and tell it, if it's still interesting. But this is not for frequent use.
Don't be afraid to get screwed
If a question baffles you, don't get angry, avoid answering, or not answer at all. It is better to admit that you do not know the answer, but be sure to read about it in a smart book and tell your baby later. Well, if there are children's educational books, then you can look for the answer to the question with your child.
Some features of the logic of children
It's funny to see how the "why" period begins in children. First, the baby, as if by chance, silently, begins to voice what he saw and comment on what is happening. For example, while walking on the street, he notices a butterfly and begins to reason in a low voice: “What a beautiful butterfly ... Why is she sitting on a flower? What did she find there? Maybe she wants to smell him? .. Or is hiding from someone? .. "
It seems that he is talking to himself and does not expect any explanation from you. And if you start to explain to him what exactly the same butterfly on the flower is doing, you will get the impression that he is not listening to you. The kid simply continues to observe the object of study and draw his own conclusions, thinking about the strangeness of the world around him.
Pay attention, this reasoning is just his first "why?" Every day there will be more and more reflections aloud, they will sound louder, and after a while they will be completely replaced by the specific questions posed to you.
Keep in mind that the baby expects only truthful and comprehensive answers from you.... No "You are still small, why do you need this?" or "Wow, how curious we are!"... We say no to lisps and reproaches about his excessive curiosity. Kids are very sensitive to such behavior of adults.
They will “pout” if you don’t answer them and get angry if you tell a lie. They will frown, distract you from business, endlessly fiddling with their stubborn: "Well, tell me why, well, tell me!"... This question of a child seems stupid and unimportant to you, but for him your answer may conceal the solution to the mystery of the universe, the whole world, into which he is trying to penetrate with his inquiring mind and realize his role in it, to find his place.
The answers to the questions of the kids should be informative, expressed in a simple and accessible language for them. Children need to understand what you mean when you answer their question. In addition, you should in every possible way encourage the kids in their desire to know everything - be patient with their curiosity, be friendly and demonstrate your willingness to respond to the next stream of their "why?"
The desire to learn about the world in children at this age resembles a tsunami that sweeps away everything in its path... Brain activity reaches its maximum, speech develops, thinking surprises with its originality. The vocabulary is replenished with various expressions, the baby seems to be trying to express himself in his own language. Fantasy in children during this period is revealed more than ever, therefore many moms and dads consider its manifestation excessive.
How do parents respond?
In no case should parents protest against the manifestation of children's imagination. Do not offend your baby with such an attitude to his feelings of the world. Better distract from everyday affairs, try to dream with him, come up with unusual fairy-tale heroes - you will get great pleasure from this: the world of childhood smells of magic and freedom of thought.
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Ask your child how he sees the world, and you will be surprised at what you hear from him. We, adults, have not thought about many things for a long time and forget why this or that event occurs. The kid will find “his” explanation for everything, tell why the fish swim and how the plane flies. Of course, these explanations do not always correspond to reality, but how fantastic they sound!
Children love to explore this world with adults. But, even if you don’t find time to become a “companion” on this journey, believe me, they can do quite well without you. Get ready for the fact that in search of answers to all your questions, your little one can disassemble the alarm clock, pick out all the buttons on the TV remote, try to shove a rusty nail into the outlet and turn on all the taps in the bathroom to watch the water pour out of it.
To understand what motivates your child, mom and dad need to remember their childhood.... Do not infringe on the interests of your baby and do not extinguish the "ardor" of his curiosity. Try to behave in such a way that the baby considers himself a pioneer. Get involved in this game. He needs your support. Rejoice at his "discoveries", praise him more often, because he so needs your approval.
Answer calmly and clearly
Do not dismiss the child, do not say that he is tired of his questions. How you talk to your child will determine whether he or she will have a desire to further explore the world around him. When answering questions, try to make the explanations understandable for children.
What is the threat of parental laziness?
By refusing to answer all the child's questions and not helping him in learning about the world, you risk bringing on him a lot of problems in the future. For example, hearing in your address the permanent "Do not bother, you see, I'm busy!" or "How bored you are with your questions!", the child will gradually lose interest in research and thereby miss out on many opportunities.
Your behavior will backfire a little later, when he goes to school. There, the kid will not show a special zeal for knowledge, the lessons will be a real torture for him - he will be tormented by boredom. Teachers will start complaining about him: “He is not interested in anything at all. He yawns all the time in class! "... But before this kid was so inquisitive, but no one supported him, did not cheer him up, did not pay him due attention. So the light of his interest in life has gone out.
Therefore, do not forget to praise your children for any activity shown in the study of this or that event, subject. Be there, encourage them for their next attempts to explore this complex world, express your delight and pride for them. This is a very important part of their life!
Stimulate the activity of your child, be surprised at his ingenuity, observation. When you meet your baby from kindergarten, do not rush to ask what they were given for lunch. Better find out what new he learned today: "What did you do on your walk today?" or “What interesting things did you learn today? What did you see?"... His new experiences are what should interest you every day.
We explore the world together with a child
It is difficult for an adult to plunge back into childhood in order to understand the thoughts of a child. To do this, you will need a few simple, but very effective tips:
- Organize any joint activity. So you can find out what and how your baby is thinking. Encourage the "outpouring" of his questions. Respond to them with enthusiasm.
- Buy beautiful picture books and encyclopedias. Look at the pictures together, discuss them. Suggest names for the animals and birds in them. It will be funny and will allow you to understand how your child thinks.
- Play various group games with two or more participants, invite your "why" friends and other family members to play together.
You can use the games that you remember from your childhood, or ask the kindergarten teacher which games are most popular with children of this age. Talk to psychologists about which games can help children develop and get them interested in exploring the world. These can be fairly simple games that do not require special skill or preparation.
Examples of exercises for children
1. "A series of questions"
This game can go on forever. Start with any question like: "Where does the water in the lake come from?"... The answer might be: "When it rains, water accumulates in the lake"... The next question from you might be: Why is it raining?.
This game can be continued for a very long time. If your baby finds it difficult to answer any question, help him, explain yourself. Such a game will show the child how much he already knows, and will allow you to "show off" your mind, thanks to which your authority in the eyes of the little man will grow significantly.
If you also don't know something, it's not scary at all. You can say: "Wow. I myself do not remember why this happens. Let's see together what is written about this in the book "... Believe me, firstly, this will bring you closer to the baby, because together you do not know the answer to this difficult question, and secondly, he will learn from you to look for answers in books and encyclopedias. In the future, this skill of communicating with such literature will be very useful to him.
2. "What happens ...?"
This game is designed to develop the logic of kids and the ability to match objects to each other by their size, width and length.
The game can start with any question, for example, "What is a house like?" The child answers: big, beautiful, white, multi-storey. Then you can ask to compare the size of the house and the mountain. The kid will imagine the height of the house and the mountain. The mountain will be higher. He learns to compare.
Then ask your child to describe the road. The answer will be: long, short, wide, narrow. Then you ask: "What is wider - a road or a path?" "Of course, the road!" - the kid will answer.
Observe what questions the child likes more - about animals, nature, people or household items. If he likes to talk more about the house, ask the question: "What happens green in our house?" He will answer: an apple, flowers in a pot, a curtain in the kitchen, my dinosaur ... Stop at one of the items he listed and ask him to add his description: "What else is an apple (a curtain in the kitchen or flowers in a pot)?" The kid will begin to list for you: sour, sweet, hard, soft, round.
If you play this game often, your child will clearly understand the difference between many objects and will learn how to compare them in many ways.
3. "Ask"
Take any picture with a plot and invite your child to ask you what he does not understand in this picture. If you cannot answer, he answers for you. Then you lose. And ask the kid to compose a story based on this picture in order to "sound" the plot. Such a game will allow him to dream up and show his knowledge.
4. "Coming up with new things"
Take old pencils, unnecessary pen lids, chocolate foil, a plastic ice cream cup and invite your child to come up with a new use for them, make something new out of them. It will be interesting for him to become an "inventor".
5. "Transformation"
Tell the kid that he can transform into any thing he wants. Ask him to tell how he feels after the transformation, how this thing lives, what it thinks about and what worries it. Let him talk about her thoughts, past and future.
Play together
1. Favorite game by many children "What flies?"
First, a host is chosen (usually a mother). The host begins to quickly ask: "Does the TV fly?", "Does the car fly?", "Does the sparrow fly?" The answers should be immediate - yes or no. You can shout them out, or you can agree to wave your hands when the answer should be "yes" and not wave when "no". The game ends when the participants score a sufficient number of points (this is discussed immediately).
2. "Finish the phrase"
You will need a ball or any other object that can be passed from hand to hand. The game consists in the fact that the one who is holding the ball (an adult) begins a sentence, for example: "It snows in winter, and in summer ...". The one to whom the ball is passed (child) must finish it: "It is raining." Together with the answer, the participant must return the ball back. "Fruits grow on the trees, and on the beds ...", "A squirrel jumps on branches, and a dolphin ...", "An artist draws pictures, and a cook ..." - you can continue indefinitely.
3. "Finish the word"
You name the first syllable of the word, the baby must come up with and name the second. It is not necessary that he guessed exactly your intended word. The main thing is his ability to choose words for a given syllable. Then switch roles with the baby - he now calls the beginning of the word, and you the end. This game will significantly replenish and expand your child's vocabulary.
4. "Specialist by profession"
The game is pretty simple. You say, "What is ... the fireman doing?" The kid answers: "Put out the fire." You: "What is ... the teacher doing?" "He teaches children!" - the child answers.Start with the professions known to him: baker, doctor, construction worker, nanny. Then move on to professions unknown to him: engineer, veterinarian, stewardess. If he cannot explain himself, help him - tell him what he is doing, for example, the engineer, where he works.
5. "Who will name more items ..."
Round, square, triangular, cold, hot, sweet, etc. The game consists in the fact that you and the baby take turns naming objects of a certain shape or sign, who is larger. For example, you say to him: "What square objects do you know?" He will say: "Cube", you to him: "TV". You will continue: Carpet in the living room.
The game should stop at his word, let the kid be the winner in this game. This will boost his self-esteem and teach him to think big.
It is good if you are one of those parents who willingly participate in the development of their baby, despite the problems with fatigue and lack of time. It is very difficult to find the strength to constantly "work" as a reference book for your baby. But, believe me, this stage will not last so long. And when it is over, you will remember it with affection.
Be sure that your efforts will definitely be rewarded - the baby will learn to draw conclusions, connect things of different nature and understand the essence of the events taking place. You will become truly happy when you realize that this is all your merit. After all, for him you are the closest and dearest person who first came to his aid in studying the world.
- Top 10 children's questions that baffle parents (and how to answer them). Part 1
- The child caught you in the bedroom doing an "interesting activity." What to do and how to find the right words?
- Awkward children's questions - how to answer?
- How to explain to a child where children come from
Anecdote on the topic:
The little son asks dad:
- Dad, why is the grass green?
- And fig knows her.
- Dad, why does it snow in winter?
- A fig knows him.
- Dad, why are the stars visible only at night?
- A fig knows them.
- Dad, I'm probably tired of you with my questions?
- No, sonny, you ask. Who will explain everything to you, except for the folder? :)
Lecture "Parental pedagogy: the age of the children". The lecture is read by T.D. Yakovenko, teacher of children's literature and psychology, NSPU:
The book of 100 answers to questions about why. Advice to parents of curious children. Buy on
