Parents buy their baby more and more new toys, trying to make his leisure more interesting, and instead of playing enthusiastically, he tears off the dolls' heads, throws cars on the floor or opens the belly of a teddy bear? This situation is not uncommon. However, this fact is unlikely to console the parents, because they, first of all, want to know why this is happening.
Of course, your child can occasionally spoil something by accident. But what if he begins to deliberately destroy good things with which, in principle, he should rest and play? What to do, how to stop your beloved child? Should he be punished? In this article we will figure out for what reasons a child can start to spoil things, find out how to behave as an adult in such situations. And everything will be all right!
Reasons why children might break their toys
The kid breaks toys that are not suitable for his age
Often, a child breaks toys because it is simply too early for him to use them. Parents want to please their beloved baby and get him exactly what he asks for. As a result, it turns out that the toy is simply not suitable for the kid. It is too small to understand: this thing must be handled with care.
Here's a simple example: the baby is only four years old. But he insistently asks to buy a beautiful car with opening doors, a lifting body, and turning wheels. The parents soon agree. They get quite an expensive item. But on the same day, the machine is disassembled.
Probable reaction: punishment. The kid will begin to explain that he broke an expensive thing, behaves badly. The approach is wrong!
How to proceed
Of course, the best solution is to refrain from such purchases altogether. Manufacturers indicate age restrictions just taking into account the level of development of the child. If you give a child at 4 years old cubes, rubber toys, plastic pyramids and simple constructors from large parts, he will not spoil anything.
Is it worth scolding if the toy is already broken? Of course, you don't need to blame your little family member. In general, try not to punish or scold your baby again. If he has a tendency towards aggression, you will thus develop it in him. When a kid is vulnerable, obedient, such punishments can make such a heavy impression on him that he will generally lose the joy of playing. At the same time, it is really necessary to explain gently that things must be handled more carefully. (we also read: to punish or not to punish a child for accidental offenses)
Someone will have a question: is it possible to buy a toy that is not suitable for age, if the baby asks very much? There are two options here:
- Toys that can pose a health hazard should definitely not be given to a child. This applies to products with small parts. So that the child does not accidentally choke on them, they should not be in his access zone at all.
- When the toy is safe, but there is a high probability that the baby will break it, decide for yourself. If you want to please your beloved child - buy. Just be prepared for an early breakdown.
The thing did not live up to expectations
Children sometimes break toys on purpose. They get upset because they receive the wrong gift. Often the reaction can be predicted in advance. The kid asks for one toy in the store, and they buy him another. If you did this, be prepared: at home your child will show an attitude towards the “gift” by breaking the thing. Thus, children are just trying to insist on their own. Moreover, it seems to them: now they will buy a new thing, because they are again left without a gift.
We fix the situation
This behavior is not good. What to do?
- Try to explain that you gave a toy from a pure heart, sincerely upset with the child's reaction;
- Do not buy a new item after the previous one has been broken! The child should not be pampered. In this situation, it is better for him to do without new toys for a while;
- A good way to influence your toddler is to leave the broken item in sight. Let him see for himself that this is bad, ugly;
- No need to scold. Explain everything calmly, without raising your voice (we also read: 10 tips to stop yelling at your kids);
- In the future, when the time comes again to go to the store with the baby, you can do this: if you are not able to fulfill the child's desire and buy exactly what he wants, do not buy another toy at all. Remind your child of what he did with the thing he didn't like before.
Features of temperament
Now, unfortunately, aggression is typical for many children. Then toys break regularly, and all the reasons for "violent" behavior are hidden in the peculiarities of temperament. Little choleric - he is restless, quickly distracted, easily irritated, very active. In such babies, toys break themselves. Gripped tightly, dropped, accidentally stepped on, hooked, etc.
How to be?
It is clear that one cannot turn a blind eye to such a problem. If the manifestations are still at an initial stage, you can try to cope on your own.
- You don't need to scold your child. Punishments will cause increased aggression or withdrawal. Both reactions are very bad results;
- Explain as clearly as possible, kindly that it is not good to behave this way;
- Create conditions for taking out accumulated emotions. A great solution is to provide your child with toys that you can play with actively. Rubber things, swords will do (not balls, but children's swords). You can hang a pear for a boy;
- Make sure that children can actively relax, spend energy. Give them to the sports section, dance club.
All this will definitely help you. As a last resort, you will have to contact a child psychologist or neuropathologist.
Cognitive activity. Curiosity
Many children are ready for absolutely anything when they have an irresistible desire to learn a new thing. They disassemble, unwind, break toys. These children just want to find out how things work, what they have inside. Unfortunately, expensive items only increase curiosity. Therefore, they are in danger in the first place. Most often, the kids then make attempts to collect toys, but this is no longer possible.
How to be?
There is a great way out: buy more construction sets for your child, toys that you can safely assemble and disassemble. Let your child watch educational cartoons, documentaries. Older children will find it helpful to read encyclopedias. This way your little one will satisfy his curiosity.
The kid wants to attract the attention of parents
This situation is also widespread. The kid begins to play pranks on a regular basis, breaks toys, behaves badly at the table, is constantly capricious ... And everything is directed exclusively at one goal. Just think: maybe your beloved child lacks parental attention? Some children suffer from excessive custody, while others, on the contrary, lack care and play with their parents.
Our solution
First of all, you need to talk to the child. Ask him if he would like to walk, read or draw with you. Suggest an interesting game. For example, you can arrange an impromptu puppet theater with finger animals and dolls. Many children will be happy to go outside with their parents, run together, ride down the slides, and throw snowballs. All this will strengthen the bond with the child, have a positive effect on the relationship in the family as a whole. Be one team, have fun and relax together!
I just want to break everything ...
Another common reason for this behavior is common irritability. Kids, like adults, feel angry and resentful. Very often they break toys, throwing out accumulated negative emotions. It so happens that children take an example from adults, when they cannot cope with their anger and raise their voices, bang their fists on the table, throw things. So kids, adopting the habits of adults, can also behave inadequately, breaking and breaking toys in the process of aggression.
What to do?
Arrange a special play area for the child, where he will be able to break something, disassemble. For example, someone just buys an older child small balloons with darts. While training coordination, accuracy, boys and girls hit targets with pleasure. And then they become noticeably calmer, more balanced.
Kid playing superhero
Does the nursery look like a battlefield again? All things are scattered, some of the toys are broken, and your baby walks happy, like a birthday boy? It is likely that your child just imagines himself a brave warrior, wants to imitate his favorite heroes. In such games, you need to destroy a terrible dragon, an evil wizard, a wolf, a bad person. And for this they need to be “killed”. The kid breaks toys, getting carried away with the game and following examples of characters from films and cartoons.
There is a solution!
You need to talk well with your beloved child, explain to him that there is no need to struggle with good things. This does not make the sense that there is in the battles of his favorite heroes. In addition, you need to organize a "battle" area in the nursery. There should be safe swords, various children's weapons and specially selected toys that will not suffer from such battles. For example, large soft, rubbery animals.
A few more common reasons
- The kid is upset that he is overprotected. Sometimes parents are too diligent in teaching children how to handle toys. And kids are annoyed. Try to be gentle, calm, give some freedom to your child.
- The child is sick, very tired. Malaise, as a rule, drains the psyche of the crumbs, he becomes impatient, irritable, awkward. A sudden outburst of anger, careless movement - and the toy is blown to pieces.
- The child expresses anger.For example, a child is playing with a toy car, and he cannot put a small toy in it - he immediately associates the failure not with his own personal abilities, but with the toy in his hands. In a fit of anger, the child throws the toy, it hits the floor with a swing and breaks. The baby does not yet understand that things are capable of breaking, so he simply cannot think about any consequences of his actions.
- The child wants to buy another toy. Some kids are a little cunning. They spoil things first and then demonstrate their experiences in different ways. And they ask for another toy. Have you noticed that everything happens according to this scenario? Then don't buy another item. Leave a broken toy in the nursery. Let the child realize that he broke a good thing, was left without it.
- The child breaks toys out of spite.Very often, the destructive behavior and aggression on the part of the toddler in relation to toys actually hide the protest against the actions of adults. Mom did not allow taking candy from the table or demanded to remove the toys, but the baby does not want to do this. He gets angry and decides to somehow harm his parents, but he doesn't find a better way than tearing up the books he bought or gutting a stuffed animal. Thus, a toddler who has not yet learned to manage his emotions expresses his resentment and anger.
- The toy was bought to someone else. And the child spoiled it on purpose. There is only one way out. Try not to show your baby items that are meant to be gifted to other children. This causes resentment, jealousy. Avoid situations like this.
How to stop a child from breaking toys
At first, the main task of parents is not to interfere with the child's knowledge of the world around him, and vice versa, to help him in every possible way in this. You should not immediately pick up things thrown on the floor after him and put toys that have just been thrown off from there on the shelves. Better to just watch the baby's actions and give him hints. If the crumb cannot close the box in any way, because it is full, you need to show him that you need to free up some space in it, and then the lid will easily fall into place. If the baby tries to rip off the doll's head, you need to explain to him that this should not be done, because the doll will be hurt, and instead offer the baby another toy that can be easily disassembled and reassembled.
If a child tries to apply force to all the objects around him, it is worth providing him with such toys that he will definitely like to taste: special soft blocks from which you can build fortresses, high couches and caves, as well as jump on them, bouncy ball, skittles, large constructors from which you can build towers and break them. You can teach the kid to crumple unnecessary sheets of paper and throw them into a ring specially hung for this purpose above the trash can. Offer the baby to try himself in modeling from plasticine or polymer clay. You can play cars with real accidents and collisions with your kid.
On the playground, a small destroyer will be able to use his power, sticking a large number of Easter cakes and trampling on his labors. In winter, you can build a snowman with your baby and break it, and in the fall you can shovel a large pile of fallen leaves and then stir it up.
The most important thing for parents is to have patience and wait, and so that the frustration due to a new wave of destruction is not so strong, it is worth removing valuable and fragile things from the child's reach in advance. Gradually teach your baby to understand the difference between toys and interior items that should not be touched, as well as your favorite things, which should also never be spoiled. According to psychologists, the little destroyer will in any case turn into a creator as soon as the period of heightened curiosity is over.
Taken: http://www.ya-roditel.ru/parents/base/experts/373782/
Be gentle, kind, but persistent and moderately strict parents! Good luck! 🙂
How to stop a child from slamming doors or breaking things in emotion
From the forum:
Katia: Maybe a child is just such an age when it is difficult for him to control his actions in relation to material objects? In this case, you just need to be patient and wait for it to pass. Perhaps the baby is simply studying the toys that fall into his hands and breaks them all the same deliberately, albeit unconsciously. With this, too, will have to come to terms.
Vika: Or maybe it's not a desire to break, but an effort to get to the bottom of the truth. After all, small children are great researchers, they want to know what is inside a toy and how it works.
Zhenya: The most important reason for a child's careless attitude to toys is a lack of parental attention. Modern parents are often very busy with work and try to buy expensive toys for their children, so that only he does not interfere with them, and they have time to do all the planned things. However, even the most interesting and expensive toys cannot replace the child's parental attention and communication with them. Therefore, breaking toys, children want to attract mom and dad to themselves at least a little, even if they don't like his behavior. There are fewer episodes of breakage and destruction of toys in those families where parents try to devote all their free time to their child, communicate with them, and show their love and care.
