The appearance of a child is definitely an exciting and joyful event. Every woman awaits the birth of a baby with trepidation, but, often, the decree is more afraid than the birth itself. A new family member is not only a cute baby whom you love so madly, but also a lot of worries and problems. The fear of going on maternity leave is fueled by friends and acquaintances, who vividly talk about how they go crazy and are depressed, sitting with the baby at home.
Of course, your life will change a lot, because a decree is not a simple vacation without haste and anxiety. However, many of the fears of modern women are not worth spending your time and energy on. Let's figure out what fears expectant mothers experience before decree, how to avoid them and tune in to a positive mood.
1. I do not know how, it will not work
None of us are born with a huge baggage of knowledge about children, taking care of them, their health and proper development. All children are different, from the first days of life they already have their own character, and no matter how hard you try to study mountains of educational literature in advance, it is impossible to predict everything that awaits you with your baby. Even if you are the most zealous perfectionist, there will inevitably be mistakes and mistakes in your new life as a mom. Children are unpredictable.
No need to set yourself unbearable tasks, do not try to become a guru in the field of child psychology and pediatrics. Reading special literature, talking to a pediatrician in advance is the right move, the main thing is not to do it with your mania. Everything will come to you with experience, there will definitely be people nearby who are ready to help with advice and deed. Do not hesitate to ask, find out about caring for your baby, avoid the negative influence of people who impose their vision of motherhood on you, have a negative attitude towards maternity leave.
Related article: The most important tips for caring for a newborn. Best Memo Article for Moms and Dads
2. Relationship with partner will suffer
Many expectant mothers fear that there will no longer be room for romance and passion in their lives, and that the relationship will change for the worse. Of course, the appearance of a child in the family is a kind of test of the couple for strength. Fatigue, lack of sleep, "groundhog day", lack of attention to each other can result in discontent and quarrels. It is important to try to prevent a breakdown in relations, to treat your partner with understanding, not to shoulder the entire burden of responsibility.
Try to spend time with your man whenever possible, arrange romantic dinners, allow yourself to go to the cinema, theater, restaurant. Nobody canceled loving grandparents, if you have real helpers who will gladly sit with your baby, do not refuse it.
The monotony of life and the repetition of days cannot be avoided, this is how child care is arranged, try to diversify your walks, your activities with a crumb as much as possible, go on a visit, go shopping together. Avoid depression, which is one of the first causes of relationship problems.
A frequent disturbing thought for young mothers is the belief that the figure after the birth of the baby will certainly deteriorate, that the woman herself will look bad and will not have time to take care of herself. And the beloved man will fall out of love and find another.
In fact, even if you gain extra pounds, no one will bother you to get rid of them. The bulk gained during pregnancy is the weight of the baby, amniotic fluid, placenta, etc. After giving birth, you will lose many pounds, and you can remove the remaining excess with the help of simple sports activities and daily walks. No one will condemn your desire to become the owner of an ideal figure. You will be able to allocate time for yourself during the baby's sleep period, while daddy or relatives are sitting with him. By coping with unnecessary anxiety, you will not overeat. Skin care procedures do not take too long, you can generally do them while feeding a baby, or preparing dinner.
Believe me, if your man really loves you, then this feeling remains with him both when you are in evening dress and when in home clothes.
3. Career will end
Even very smart and successful women are not devoid of disturbing thoughts, such as, "I will be stupid on maternity leave", "in a couple of years everything will change in the company, I will not be needed." Zealous careerists are afraid to change a comfortable office for diapers and undershirts, fearing to miss all the opportunities to grow up the career ladder.
In fact, women after the decree are also in demand as candidates, like everyone else. A normal employer always prioritizes the knowledge, experience and professionalism of the employee, and not stereotypes about eternal hospital young mothers.
In order not to feel inadequacy, it is worth improving on maternity leave. You can learn the language, learn new skills, develop and learn in your profession. Try to draw, do something with your own hands, write, take pictures, discover new things in yourself.
You drop out of your usual life for several years, but at the same time, you will plunge into another, make it so that it is also saturated.
4. Friends will disappear
The feeling on maternity leave that you have become uninteresting to your friends and acquaintances appears very often. If you fear that your social circle will change, do not think that this is bad. You will learn to appreciate your time and will give it to really important and pleasant people.
Plus, real friends stay with you under all circumstances. And those who will disappear from your life as soon as you become a mother may have always been just acquaintances. Some people leave your circle of friends, others come, bringing their valuable contribution. With new responsibilities and new lifestyles, there will be people who share your interests and are in the same situation as you.
Be interesting to people, do not focus only on motherhood, develop, learn new things.
5. Financial dependence
Monetary dependence on a man scares women with an active lifestyle, self-sufficient, self-confident. “How will I beg for money for a new dress if I don’t earn a penny myself?” At the same time, in most cases, a man thinks in a completely different way, by nature he is a breadwinner, he is ready to provide for his family.
[sc name = ”rsa”]
Discuss the financial aspects of your family in advance. Plan your budget together, because the time of the decree is really more difficult in terms of money. As the baby grows up, you can try to earn extra money from home depending on your professional skills.
Even if the money brought by a man is quite enough, you can work remotely for yourself, enriching your knowledge and earning money for minor needs.
It's good if, even at the stage of planning a pregnancy, you and your partner discuss financial opportunities, understand and accept his position (5 points to think about before planning a baby).
When life changes dramatically, anyone can feel a dead end. Everyone has vital energy and resources to support themselves and others, to change the situation for the better, it is important to want and strive to change and change.
Believe me, the birth and upbringing of your baby, a particle of yourself, the boundless happiness of being close to a baby, is worth all the worries and difficulties. Approach your life with calm and optimism.
- Why are you tired? You're sitting at home! Or a memo to husbands who do not understand all the "charms" of maternity leave
- 5 fears of a mother of two children: getting sick, falling, not breathing ... # mommy stories
- What is important for husbands to remember about wives on maternity leave?
