Hi everyone! I am Marina Romanenko, and today we will talk about what parents should do when their child suddenly starts saying NO to everything.
The child says “No” to everything: what to do with it?
The situation is simply banal. He loves a dish very much, and suddenly starts saying NO even when he is hungry, suddenly refuses to put on his favorite clothes, refuses to go out at all - to everything he says: "No!"
So what is the right thing to do to get around this as quickly as possible?
Why does the child say "No" to everything?
For many reasons. Thus, they defend their opinion, their territory, their right to be what he is. The training time for this quality begins at 2.5-3 years.
What should parents do?
1. Be calm, this is temporary
You need to be as calm as possible and understand that this is a temporary period, and it will pass. Here is your beloved child. It's just that nature has pressed such a button in him, which makes him say: "No, no, no" at all, in order to compensate for this for the rest of his life, and learn to be with his opinion. And this is very important.
So react calmly.
2. Wake up early
There is a moment when children begin to say NO or disagree with something, and this delays going to kindergarten, to school. Accordingly, you can be late for work, and this turns into battles at the exit from home.
What should be done? - You need to wake up your child earlier. You know, many parents regret - he sleeps so sweetly, he went to bed so late yesterday - and wake him up as usual.
As a result, as usual, everything drags on, with all these NO, with our nerves, their nerves, it gets worse, and we are all late. We break loose, we can start screaming or get upset, or take offense at our child.
Please wake him up earlier. If you wake him up earlier and you have a spare time, you will react more calmly to his many NO.
He, perhaps, would be glad to say YES, but he cannot during this period of time, he cannot!
3. Use humor
The next point, which is very important for parents to understand. It is good to fight NO with humor. Humor smooths out any conflict situations, and therefore you just need to joke.
When your child doesn't want to get dressed, or sits down on the floor and says, “I'm not going anywhere!”, For example, tell him:
- And don't forget that you are not dressing today!
- How do I not dress? Getting dressed!
Or:
- Just don't eat this porridge!
And he will start to eat it.
Or, there are times when they start crying. You already know how events will unfold. Warn them by telling your child:
- So, today I woke you up early. Now just argue with me, so as not to go to brush your teeth, turn all the clothes out of the closet, and then choose your dress!
You will be surprised - they may turn the clothes out of the closet, but they will quickly choose 1-2 T-shirts, get dressed, and go, instead of endlessly trying one outfit after another.
Therefore, humor, humor, as much as possible - this will smooth out the conflict. You will react differently to the child, the severity of the moment will go away. And, in general, you will cope with the situation much faster.
4. Offer alternatives
Another point that parents need to know as a great simple tool. Children at this age from 2.5 to 3-3.5 years have a predominantly subject-manipulative way of thinking.
What does this mean? That they cannot think of anything, they can only repeat. This means that you need to offer something right.
When you say: "Are you going to eat?", He says: "No!" - it is not right. How is it correct? You lead him into the kitchen and say:
- Would you like porridge or soup?
His brain is so arranged that he will have to choose one thing: banana or yogurt? You show him, he chooses one thing. And you have no conflict.
It's the same story with clothes. When they protest, shout, do not want to put on a jacket - sometimes going outside turns into a nightmare - from kindergarten or from home, it doesn't matter! He simply refuses to stick his hands or dress somewhere, and says: "No, that's all!"
Then you ask him:
- Which hand you put into the jacket first into the sleeves - this or this - touching his hand.
He is such a:
- This ...
And you just, and quickly, like a magician, put on this hand. And then you wear this one.
- Which boot will we put on first - on the right foot (touching the right), or on the left foot (touching the left foot)?
And while he thinks about what to answer you, and nods to something, you need to immediately put on this boot and then immediately put on the second boot.
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And you will see that dressing up or getting somewhere will turn into a second event, very fast and very effective.
Be prepared that he will figure you out quickly enough, so next time offer to get into some pocket, or something else, joke. And while he is thinking about what, quickly put him on.
Be patient!
This acute period, in which your child literally says NO to everything, in fact almost always ends closer to 3.5 years old. And if it started at 2.5, and you passed it gently, believe me, at 2.7 it can sometimes end, at 3 years old it can end. So be patient, have some humor, and just get over it. Then it will shrink.
I also want to say that, you know, the world will not collapse if your child is weirdly dressed alone among everyone else. True, he will not collapse, but maybe his inner self-esteem will collapse, if you break him at some point, dress him the way you need to, and shove him out where it is expected that he should look like this.
Somehow, when you are walking very beautiful and very smart, and next to you is a child who has chosen completely unsuitable clothes for this.
If it's cold outside and he is lightly dressed, just inform him that you have brought a warm jacket with you. Once he decides that he is cold, you will be ready to give it instead of crying, screaming and irritating trying to dress him right away.
And when you support them 1, 2, 3 or 5, you will lay a solid foundation so that he grows up to be a very stress-resistant, self-confident, relaxed, possibly very creative person, finds himself and fulfills himself, and be happy in life. That's all!
Until next time!
