Expert psychologist Evlalia Prosvetova tells: how to stop yelling at a child

Any parent at least once was "on the brink" or fell on his baby, completely lost control over himself. Often, an emotional outburst leads to the fact that mom or dad grabs the baby, starts shouting at him, shaking him or even hitting him, thinking that this way the child will calm down ...

One of the golden commandments in raising a child is not to yell at him even in the most seemingly difficult situations. This is easy to learn if you resort to a few simple techniques of introspection and self-control.

Expert Evlalia Prosvetova will tell you how to understand yourself and stop yelling at a child.

A child who gets frustrated by parents grows up nervous, insecure, downtrodden and aggressive. And the worst thing is that during the shaking the baby can get a head injury. In short, you must definitely learn to act differently.

Analyze why you scream

Parental aggression is not uncommon. Most often, it occurs for the following reasons:

you get tired and do not get enough sleep;
complete attachment to the child, there is no freedom and time for oneself;
life and family relationships are completely immersed in everyday life;
parenting seemed easy, but expectations were not met.

Monitor your condition

It is very important for parents to monitor the state of their internal balance. If you feel like you are about to explode, try doing this:

Leave the child's room and try to calm down. Take a deep breath. Ideally, you should ask a family member to sit with your child. Even if the baby continues to cry, it won't do much harm to him.
Pull yourself out of stress. Go outside or open a window, drink a glass of cool water. Watch your breathing, bring it to a normal steady pace.
If your body demands to release stress, cry or beat your pillow. There is nothing wrong with that, but negative emotions will be eliminated.
Take a deep breath, exhale, inhale and exhale, until you come to your senses.
Analyze your behavior and inner state. This step is very important and will help determine the root of your stress. Ask yourself questions: "Why did I get angry?", "What pissed me off and what exactly happened?" etc.

Your main goal at this stage is to stabilize your condition and understand the cause of the “explosion”. During your absence, the child will be reassured by another relative. You can return to it after you put your emotions in order. This will be better for both you and your baby.

What if you already yelled at the child?

In this situation, it is very important to restore your calmness and try to regain the child's trust. Hug him, calm him down, ask for forgiveness and try to convey all your love to him. Make the child understand that mom is there and loves him.

If you've yelled at your child, don't berate yourself or get depressed. Anyone can have a nervous breakdown, the main thing is to realize it in time and try to pull yourself together.

How to prevent a breakdown?

Special attention should be paid to the prevention of breakdowns in a child. Both mom and dad of the child must participate - this is a must. All parenting responsibilities should not be assigned to one person. It will be great if grandparents and family friends are involved in the process.

The most important measure is developing a schedule for household chores. In this schedule, the personal time of mom and dad must be allocated, in which they can go about their business and pay attention to themselves. Parents can change between themselves. For example, mom is resting - dad is with the child, and vice versa. If you chronically do not get enough sleep and therefore break down, rest during the day with your baby.

A lot of information, tips and life hacks on raising a child can be found on special forums, classes in child development studios or at regular meetings with other mothers.

It is important to understand that there are no ideal parents. And to realize this, you need to communicate more with like-minded people. These can be moms from the playground or from development studios, after all, from Internet forums.

If the parents cannot figure out the situation on their own, it is worth contacting a professional family psychologist. The specialist very quickly finds the root of the problem and helps to cope with stress and other problems.

If you are having trouble controlling yourself, see a psychologist.

Of course, working on yourself is a complex process that does not consist of one stage. A lot of difficulties come with a child, but they arise for absolutely all parents and everyone goes through them. With a little effort, your baby will grow up in a harmonious and right atmosphere.